parenthood

“Through The Eyes of a Child”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout my life experiences is that more often than not, my children were right. They were right when I thought I was right. They were right when I thought they were wrong. They, as my children, could see things that I couldn’t, at least until time showed me just what it was that they could see.

“Through the eyes of a child…”

My children are all grown now yet I can look back and remember times that they had a strong opinion about a situation that I was in or about something I was doing. At the time I thought that they were just children, they couldn’t possibly know what I was going through.

But the truth is, as children they didn’t have to know.

As children they could see through their eyes of innocence.

As children they could feel that something was wrong for their mother.

As children they had a sixth sense, one that as I’ve grown older I wish I’d paid more attention to or listened to.

We often dismiss the opinions of our children simply because they are our children. I’ve learned through time and experience that that isn’t always true.

Sometimes our children see what we, as adults, can’t.

There are days that I wish I had listened to their opinion and feelings, yet if I do that I’d end up living a life of regret but instead just take my accountability that I was wrong.

There were so many times that I should have listened to them.

And for what it’s worth, I’m listening now.

And for those times I hope that they can forgive me.

I try not to regret those times but instead consider them a learning experience, a life lesson, if you will.

There are no perfect mothers or fathers but there are mothers and fathers that try their best.

And that’s what I’ve tried to do.

Sometimes my best wasn’t good enough yet it’s all in the past. As long as I’ve learned from it, that’s the best I can do.

I wish, as adults, we could see life “through the eyes of a child.”

But there’s always hope that we can still learn how.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“A Work In Progress”

/ Anne Dennish / 15 Comments

We’re all a work in progress. We’re not the same person as we were a year ago, five years ago or 10 years ago, and that’s what life is about: change. When we stop changing, we stop living.

I can honestly say that I’m definitely a different person than I was a year ago or twenty years ago. Life teaches us lessons that help us, sometimes “force” us, to change. We live through circumstances that change us. It’s survival and it’s also becoming a person who can survive those moments and thrive because of them. 

If only others could see in us what we see in ourselves. If only they could see how far we’ve come in our life and how much we’ve learned about ourselves. If only they could see the effort it took us to get to “now.”

Sometimes I feel as though strangers see the changes more than the people closest to me, but more often than not, that’s the way it goes.

Still, I’ll never stop learning and growing. I’ll never stop changing into the best possible version of myself that I can be. I’ll never stop trying to live my best life.

Here’s to being “a work in progress” and growing into the best version of yourself that you can be today. And who knows? You could be an even better version of yourself in a year, or two, or more.

However long it takes, live each day living, learning and becoming the best version of yourself that you can.

You got this!

And so do I!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Through The Eyes Of A Child”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout my life experiences is that more often than not, my children were right. They were right when I thought I was right. They were right when I thought they were wrong. They, as my children, could see things that I couldn’t, at least until time showed me just what it was that they could see.

“Through the eyes of a child…”

My children are all grown now yet I can look back and remember times that they had a strong opinion about a situation that I was in or about something I was doing. At the time I thought that they were just children, they couldn’t possibly know what I was going through.

But the truth is, as children they didn’t have to know.

As children they could see through their eyes of innocence.

As children they could feel that something was wrong for their mother.

As children they had a sixth sense, one that as I’ve grown older I wish I’d paid more attention to or listened to.

We often dismiss the opinions of our children simply because they are our children. I’ve learned through time and experience that that isn’t always true.

Sometimes our children see what we, as adults, can’t.

There are days that I wish I had listened to their opinion and feelings, yet if I do that I’d end up living a life of regret but instead just take my accountability that I was wrong.

There were so many times that I should have listened to them.

And for what it’s worth, I’m listening now.

And for those times I hope that they can forgive me.

I try not to regret those times but instead consider them a learning experience, a life lesson, if you will.

There are no perfect mothers or fathers but there are mothers and fathers that try their best.

And that’s what I’ve tried to do.

Sometimes my best wasn’t good enough yet it’s all in the past. As long as I’ve learned from it, that’s the best I can do.

I wish, as adults, we could see life “through the eyes of a child.”

But there’s always hope that we can still learn how.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“New Year’s Revelations in 2022!”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

“Resolutions are promises you don’t often keep. Revelations are lessons you learn that can change your life.”I learned that the only way for my life to change in the New Year was to think about the lessons that the year had taught me. Those lessons became my “New Year Revelations.”

Every year I notice that as the New Year approaches, people start talking about their “resolutions.” There’s things they want to do and things they want to change in their life so they make a list of “resolutions.”

I threw that concept out years ago because to me, resolutions were nothing more than making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep. They were goals for sure, but seriously, how many of us actually stick to those resolutions? I always tried, failed at some, then beat myself up for not doing what I had wanted.

So, years ago I realized that the only way for my life to change was by learning the lessons that life had handed me, learning from my mistakes, and learning from my experiences, and so I decided to have my “New Year’s Revelations!” I ask myself some important questions throughout the month of December: What opened my eyes this past year? What did I learn about myself? What type of people am I surrounding myself? Am I taking care of myself and loving myself enough or giving too much of myself away? And what do I need to let go of that has no place in the New Year coming up and in my life?

These are the questions to ask yourself and answer honestly. You see, when you have those “revelations” about yourself and the year that’s about to come to an end, you take those lessons and truths with you. When you do that, the New Year will open the door to endless possibilities. Don’t put added stress on yourself by making “resolutions.”

Take the time to think about your “revelations” and begin the New Year in a positive light. All things are possible if you just believe in yourself!

Here’s to an awesome 2022! Happy New Year, my loves!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Find Your Funny, Honey!”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

Laughter is truly the best medicine and today I felt as though some of you may need a little something to make you laugh.

This is a picture of my son, Danny, from about 23 years ago. This child was always doing something to make you laugh and this is one of my favorite pictures of him when he was younger. 

I’m a believer that no matter what is going on in your life you need to remember to “find your funny” whenever and wherever you can.

Take a moment to forget about your troubles, smile and laugh out loud!

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Find Your Funny

My son, Danny, could always make me laugh…and 22 years later he still does!

 

 

“That’s What Love Does”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

We don’t always understand why someone we love and care about is upset or sad, but we can try.

That’s what love does.

Love listens, it tries to understand, it wraps its’ arms around you to make you feel safe, and it allows you to be who you are.

Love doesn’t criticize you but complement’s you.

Love doesn’t judge you but embraces your flaws.

Love helps to heal you but doesn’t try to hurt you.

True, honest, unconditional love can do some amazing things.

And it’s time that we all share that love with the people we love…

“Shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel.”

Because that’s what love does.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“My Family…Together Again”

/ Anne Dennish

Two of my five children live at home, so there are moments I feel the pang of the “empty nest” syndrome. I’ve gotten used to my three oldest living across the country, only seeing them every year or two, so I don’t feel that pain of missing them all living home very often. They’ve been living out of my home for years now and I’m used to my two youngest being the only ones living with me.

Yet yesterday things felt like the old days and I was reminded of just how much I miss having a house filled with five children.

My oldest flew in yesterday morning from the West Coast and it must have been close to family2two years since I’ve seen him. He brought home his beautiful girl for all of us to meet and she was amazing! We all fell in love with her instantly and I’d like to believe that she felt the same about us.

I raced to the airport early in the morning to pick them both up and the tears fell as I saw him. They both walked towards me with open arms, hugs, kisses and some amazing West Coast energy! Just what this mom needed!

Yet seeing him was so much more than a hug…it brought back floods of emotions and memories of having them all live at home together. I remembered family dinners at the table every night and weekends filled with a stream of teenagers in and out and hanging around. It was heaven.

And yesterday felt like old times for me. Seeing him with his two youngest brothers, introducing them to his girl, teasing them and laughing I couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace, of happiness…of true joy.

I had forgotten what it was like to have my family together like that. These days even myfamily3 two youngest are working or going to school and I feel as though they’ve already left the nest.

Last night felt like old times, even though two of my kids were missing. It felt like the family I remembered; the family that grew up and moved on to their own adult lives. Yet as I remembered the memories I was also watching them all together and making new ones. Suddenly the babies and teenagers I remembered were sitting at a restaurant out to dinner with me…yet they were grown up! They had become men in what feels like an instant.

And my four boys have grown up into amazing men, and I don’t say that just because I’m their mom.

They are respectful, kind, compassionate and non-judgmental. They are truly the type of people I had hoped and wished that they would grow up to be.

And they are.

I sat in amazement last night, savoring every moment, taking in all that surrounded me. It was a night I’ll remember forever, until the next time we can all be together to make new memories.

I felt so much pride for these boys last night, especially my oldest. I watched how he spoke to and treated his girl…he loves her, she loves him, and the respect they have for one another is the type a mother hopes her child will find in a partner.

familyAnd he found that.

And I couldn’t be happier for him.

It was incredible night of being a family together again.

It was a night of my heart being so filled with love that it could have exploded.

These boys of mine…they are a gift to the world.

And they have been and always will be a gift to me.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

family4

 

All photos by Anne Dennish

 

 

“A Flood Of Emotions”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment
Isn’t it funny how one random moment in your day can bring back a flood of emotions from a moment in your past? I had such a moment yesterday…and for just an hour or so it allowed a literal flood of pain and heartache from my past.

And I want to share it with you because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: when I write from the heart and share my most intimate emotions with you, it’s therapeutic for me. It takes those emotions out of my soul and puts them onto paper…and it’s truly a good thing for me. And I hope it’s a good for those of you going through a similar situation.

Yesterday the Jersey Shore suffered from a tremendous amount of rain, causing massive floods in our surrounding areas. There were those that needed to be taken from their homes and cars by boat. I didn’t go through anything that extreme but what I did go through was painful in its’ own right.

The rains hit hard in the morning and around 11 am my son, Noah, went down into our basement. I heard him say “Mom, you better get down here.”

My heart sank because I knew it wasn’t going to be good and it wasn’t: my basement was flooded. I went down the stairs and looked around. There was water everywhere and all I could focus on was the cardboard boxes filled with their favorite childhood books and memories soaked in water. I knew right then and there that we had lost all of those things we felt “important.” Water was everywhere and I was overwhelmed with where to even start.

Yet I knew in my heart where to start and it was to start throwing things out.

And through the hours that my youngest, Sam, and I filled one garbage bag after another with their childhood memories I began to think of a time in my life over 7 years ago when I was going through another time of throwing my “memories” in the trash.

It was over 7 years ago that I was getting out of a second marriage that never should have happened. At that time I had lost the house I designed, built and lived in for over 20 years. I lost my home, my car, and all the money the kids and I had saved up over the years. That second marriage cost me more than I could say. I remember two dumpsters in my driveway for two weeks as the kids and I threw out as much as we could, knowing that we were moving to a much smaller house.

I can remember the heartache of throwing out things that had meant so much to me and to them but we didn’t have much choice. The home we lived in was so much larger than the home we were moving to and still live in. I had to keep telling myself that it was just “stuff” and that I could take the memories with me.

It was a painful time to lose literally everything I had…that we had…yet we did it. And we moved into our “Cozy Cottage.”

And we were fine. We were happy.

I moved in here with nothing. No car, no money and no job, yet we had each other and within a few weeks I had a job and another car. And we survived.

And I’ve been rebuilding my life ever since.

Yet today brought all those emotions back again and I’ll admit that I shed a few tears as I filled garbage bag after garbage bag with yet more memories. It was tough and I felt overwhelmed. I kept filling bags of their favorite children’s books to stuffed animals, one right after another, and Sam just kept bringing them up the stairs and out the door to the trash. It wasn’t the exact “Mother/Son” day I would have planned.

But we did it and there’s still another couple of days to finish up the task.

Yet after my tears spilled of another time of throwing out things that meant something to me, I began to pull myself together and remind myself that they are just the possessions, just the “stuff” that we had compiled for many years. Throwing the stuff out didn’t erase the memories…it just got rid of the physical stuff, but it will never erase the emotional stuff we gained from the years we had it.

Life is a funny thing sometimes. There comes a moment in all our lives that brings back a moment from the past, and oftentimes it’s a painful memory. Yet we seemed to have learned from the past that when those sad memories come back we know better…we feel the pain, the sadness, and the heartache and let it go much sooner than we had in the past. Sometimes we need to be reminded of the things that we had tried to forget because we shouldn’t forget anything…we should learn from it, accept it and move forward.

Because, after all, we don’t ever lose the precious moments we have of our children or loved ones; they are embedded in our minds and hearts forever. The physical possession is a wonderful thing to have but losing it doesn’t erase what our heart holds deep inside.

Our hearts take pictures of those moments in life that mean the most and no flood, no fire, and no one person can ever take that away.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

piglet flood 1

“The Thanksgiving Table”

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I’m getting ready to bake pies, chop vegetables and make cranberry sauce. There will be seven people around my table tomorrow and I can’t help but think of the “Thanksgiving Tables” of all the years gone by.

I remember a time when there were more than 15 people around the table, and all the many others that filled the house after dinner for dessert. It was filled with my aunts and uncles, cousins, parents, my grandmother and children. It was a time of sitting together and watching old home movies, of listening to the older ones’ stories and lessons and of running around the house with the cousins.

Children grow up and move out on their own and loved ones get older and pass away. Each year there seems to be one more person missing from the table.

Only three of my five children will be at the table tomorrow. My two oldest are across the country and spending it with their significant others families. I’ll miss them terribly but I am forever grateful knowing that my other three babies will be with me.

Yet when I sit down at my “Thanksgiving Table” tomorrow I will remember those days of holidays past and I will remember the loved ones that I lost.  I will remember the laughter and the stories they told, their faces and the warmth of their embrace. I will remember their colorful personalities and their presence and importance in the family. I will remember sitting at the “kid’s table” until we reached the important age of sitting at the “big table.” It was a rite of passage to graduate to that table.

My brother used to say “I wonder who will be missing from the table next year.” I always thought that was a terrible thing to say, but he was right and it taught me to embrace each holiday and each day with the people in my life because life truly is short. I’m learning that lesson more and more as I get older. I don’t look at the table and wonder which chair will be empty next year but look at the table filled with the blessings of family, of love, and of laughter. It’s a day of making memories and we carry those memories in our hearts forever. We may lose a loved one, but we can never lose the memories of them.

There may be only seven people at my table tomorrow but I will be seeing much more than that. I’ll be seeing all the “Thanksgiving Tables” of my past and the people that once surrounded it. And for that, I will be grateful.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Gratitude For The Memories”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

gratitude 11

One of the things I’m grateful for are the memories I hold deep within my heart: the memories of the birth of each of my five children; the memories of birthday parties and Christmas mornings; and the gratitude for the memories of the emotions that I felt.

Fits Like A GloveI’m grateful for the memory of the feelings of a first date and how it felt the moment I fell in love; for the memory of the excitement of a first kiss; of the feelings to be held in the arms of the one you love for the first time.

I’m grateful for the memories of my kid’s tiny hands in mine; for how wonderful it feltRuthless People that I could fix a boo-boo; for the moments of watching them sleep when they were younger; for the memories of their laughter when they were little and the laughter as they grew older.

I’m grateful for the memories of family parties filled with aunts, uncles and more cousins than you could count. I’m grateful for the memories of my school days and for the nights I spent with my best friends.

tommy-memorialI’m grateful for the memories of my loved ones that have passed on; for the love that I still feel for them and for the love they felt for me; and I’m grateful for all the memories of time spent with them and the difference they made in my life.

I’m grateful for the memories of my first book being published; for the memories of howbnwindow1 it felt the day I submitted my manuscripts to the publisher; and for the memories of the moment that I first held my new book in my hands.

I’m grateful for the good memories that are embedded deep within my heart and soul. No one can take that away from me and on the days I feel a bit sad it’s those memories that can wash that away.

Good memories are stronger than any bad ones.

Today I sit remembering all those wonderful memories and for that I’m grateful.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

open minded book signing