#narcissist

“If You Can’t Be Kind, Please Be Quiet!”

/ Anne Dennish / 4 Comments

My desk is in front of two large windows in my house, giving me a wonderful view of the neighborhood. This morning as I sat here writing with my windows down enjoying the cooler weather, I saw a neighbor from down the street come walking towards another neighbor walking their dog. Their exchange was right in front of my windows. 

The neighbor down the street walks up to the woman walking her sweet Bichon and hands her something that she dropped in her yard. The woman, who recently moved in here, thanks her with a smile.

I thought that this was a nice encounter between two neighbors, but it wasn’t. The woman begins to lecture her in a very nasty tone, telling her never to walk through her yard again and that it’s against the rules. The woman apologizes yet the other one keeps going at her. 

This is a person that lives a few houses away that has a negative and nasty attitude towards her neighbors, including me, and for no apparent reason.

Why do people have to be mean and unkind? 

I feel incredible sadness when people are not kind, whether it’s to me or to someone else. I truly don’t understand why anyone would choose to be cruel to another human being but they do. 

I will never understand how someone can find pleasure in intentionally hurting another. I know that there are plenty of reasons WHY they’re like that, but they have a choice NOT to be like that. Life has handed me some painful and hurtful situations but I never let them turn me into a mean person. I don’t care what has happened to me in my life, I would never intentionally hurt someone else. I know how it feels and it’s extremely painful to be abused, be it emotionally, mentally or physically.

Be kind as often as you can. 

And to my neighbor down the street: “If you can’t be kind, please be quiet.”

And that goes for anyone else who is unkind to others.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Domino Effect”

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News sure travels fast when a person wants to spread it. 

It’s similar to the movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” in which each life touches another in a positive way except this type of gossip is in reverse and with a much different outcome. Each story and negative opinion that they share with other people touches another in a hurtful way once it’s been found out. 

I call it “The Domino Effect” of gossip. We’re all dominoes strategically positioned in such a way that the person that pushes the first one does so knowing how to take down the rest.

The difference is that we’re not dominoes, we’re human beings that trusted a person who broke that trust by sharing our intimate conversations and their opinions with other people. Most often, we don’t even know that they’re doing it until we hear about it.

Do we tell the people that are the topic of the gossip, knowing that it will hurt their feelings? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but then again, isn’t that how we can protect them from gossip?

What do we dominoes do without lowering ourselves to their level?

All I can say is to distance yourself from them and if you haven’t already stopped all communication, you probably should be extremely careful in what you say to them. 

Everyone is a loser here, and the biggest loser is the person spreading it all. After all, nothing good comes from idle gossip. 

I say that we “dominoes” should leave it alone because I truly believe that what we put out into this world will inevitably come back to us. It’s only a matter of time before the hand pushing the dominoes is seen for who they are.

Don’t be one of the pieces in “The Domino Effect” of gossip.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Why Are You So Mean?”

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I’m feeling a little sad this morning. It’s not a sadness that has to do with any one thing, but an overall sadness about the lack of kindness and empathy in the world.

I’m feeling sad for the people who are cruel and abusive to others. They must have the lowest of self-esteem and more insecurities than can be counted. They must be so jealous and envious of another that they have to try and ruin that person’s

 life. 

There must be a reason for such a person to exist.

Did someone teach them that a person deserves to be treated badly just because they’re mad at them or don’t like them?

Did someone teach them that it was fine to speak abusively to another human being and then move on happily with their day without remorse?

Did someone teach them that they are the most important person in the world and that no one else matters or has value?

Somewhere along the way, they were taught these behaviors or were allowed to behave that way. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter because no one has the right to be abusive or cruel to another, period!

Everyone has a choice to change and I have found that these types of people never do change because they truly believe that they don’t need to.

Today I’m sad for a brief moment, saying a prayer for them, wishing them love and light and letting them go. 

You can’t save people like that and you’ll never change them, no matter how kind you are, no matter how much you try and help them, and no matter how hard you try to communicate how their behavior affects you. They will always feel that they have the right to treat people how they want because they believe that they deserve it.

Walk away from the darkness of negative people and surround yourself with those standing in the light of positivity.

And now, I let go of that brief amount of sadness and move forward with my day trying to be the best person that I can, spreading a little kindness wherever the day takes me.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Troublemakers”

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There are some people that are just born “trouble makers.” Do you know the type that I’m speaking about? I know it all too well because I’ve been dealing with them my entire life yet they have taught me some very valuable lessons.

As an empath I can feel the pain of others and have the gift of being able to understand how they feel and why they act the way that they do, but just because I’m able to do that does NOT mean that their behavior is justified. 

I used to teach my kids that “bullies” were mean because they were insecure,  jealous or had low self-esteem.  I taught them that it was their feelings about themselves that made them mean to others. As an adult, I don’t use the term “bully,” but use the correct term of “abuser and/or narcissist.”

I battled breast cancer and won, but battling a narcissist? That’s a battle for which there is no chemo or radiation to try and cure it. It’s a battle that is not fought to win, in fact, it’s a battle that NO ONE should enter into. I have studied and researched narcissism for years and have lived through many years of dealing with one. I’m learning that less interaction with them is best. They will turn it on you every time and play the victim and the martyr. They are hurtful people with not a stitch of remorse or compassion to be found in their being.

The people who truly matter in your life are the ones who love you for who you are. They support you and stand by you. They are the ones that bring you joy when they’re around and would never intentionally hurt you. 

No one has the right to hurt another person. You are a unique and amazing human being and deserve love, respect and compassion. 

Cut ties with any narcissists that are taking up space in your life and draining your beautiful energy. They don’t deserve your time and you don’t deserve their abuse.

Shine bright, my loves, because your light will always shine through the darkness!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~