moving on

“I Can See Clearly Now”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

 

 

Every so often I take a look at all the people in my life; the ones I trust and that I’m closest to. I take a good look and ask myself if I’m my true self with them or the self they need me to be. I ask myself if they bring out the best in me or I simply bring out the best in them. And I ask myself, am I a matter of convenience to them when they need my attention and love or are they there for me as well?

Those questions have been in my mind lately and I believe sometimes we have to look at the big picture because we find at that moment that we’re not living the life we need for our Highest Good. We’re in control of our happiness and in order to be all that we want to be and have the life we want we also have to see who we allow in it, because they have an impact on it.

I have a close knit group of people in my life and I’m always cautious when someone I don’t know well comes into it, whether it’s through a social circle or worse yet, through social media. I don’t take every friend request that comes my way, especially when I don’t know them or I know could cause a problem with my relationship.

So yesterday my eyes were suddenly open and seeing things differently, and I wondered why. Yet I knew why: the Universe wanted me to see and so that I could think about it and decide what I would do with what I saw and felt.

Communication between two people is key; trust is earned and maintained; and love is felt by actions, not simply words.

So as I rode in silence I heard the following questions:

  • Am I as much of a priority to someone as they are to me?
  • Do I care for someone more than they care for me?
  • Does my life revolve around all the people in it rather than it being on me?
  • Do they focus on me as much as I focus on them?
  • Do I support them more than they support me?
  • Does every conversation revolve around “them” and end when it begins to revolve around “me?”
  • Do they accept my feelings about something even though they don’t understand why I feel that way?
  • If they do something that hurts me do they do it again or do they love and respect me enough not to do it again, even if it doesn’t make sense to them.
  • Are they starting to find faults in me rather than positive things?
  • Do they put as much effort into me as they do to social media?

So many things to think about and I knew in my heart that I had the answers. And let me say that these questions pertain to all of your relationships, whether it’s a friendship, your family, or a relationship between two people.

And I ask to ask myself: Do they look different in my eyes now?

Now what do I do? What do you do if you find yourself in this position?

You take a leap of faith in who you are; you need to believe that you deserve to be treated as you treat them; and you need to communicate your feelings to them with love, kindness and respect.

And if you do these things and the response is not what you had hoped, then you’ll know the answers to your questions were right.

And that you need to turn the page in your book of life and move onto the next chapter…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

Advertisement

“Dance Along The Journey”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

dancing timeline

The best way to get through this “journey of life” is to dance along with it!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Can You Follow Your Heart?”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

It’s safe to stay in your comfort zone and take the road you know, yet I find that the road less traveled to be more exciting and filled with adventure and endless possibilities! The choice is always yours!

Follow you heart…it will lead you to amazing places!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

road known

Photo by Anne Dennish – copyright 2017

“Wish Them What They Deserve”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

wish them well

I wrote this quote years ago and the reaction to it by some was a much different one than I had expected or anticipated. I didn’t write it with malice or ill-will, yet the people that took it that way had a reason for feeling that it was a nasty quote: they were afraid of what they “deserved.”

At the time I wrote these words I was in the process of letting some people in my life go. They had taught me life lessons and had become a “toxic” presence in my life, so it was time to wish them love and light and let them go. It’s a hard thing to wish someone who hurt you or betrayed you “well,” so I decided that I would wish them what they deserve, which is my way of putting the responsbility of what they deserve in the hands of the Universe.

And I didn’t mean any of it in a nasty way.

I believe that what you put out there in the world you get back; if you’re nasty and vindictive, at some point you’ll receive it back. If you’re a kind hearted soul, that will come back to you as well. Some call it karma; I call it the laws of attraction: you attract what you put out there.wish them well 2

I remember saying this quote to someone I knew well. He wasn’t the kindest guy in the world; he was selfish at times and self-centered most of the times. When I told him this quote he got all upset and said “why would you wish me what I deserve?”

My answer was: “Don’t you think you deserve all that is good? If someone wished me what I deserve I would be happy, because while I’m not perfect, I’ve lived my life being a kind and compasionate human being and I would think I deserved all that is good.”

His response: “Point taken.”

So you see, it’s not meant to be a cruel quote. It’s an honest one, and my feeling is if it offends you, then you need to look at yourself and your behavior and figure out why.

As for my tribe of people, if I tell them I wish them what they deserve, they know that what they deserve is all good stuff and I would feel the same if they said it to me.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

 

“Under The Tree – Just Me”

/ Anne Dennish

under the tree uncle bobI sit here this morning alone  with my coffee while all my loved ones are asleep, thinking to myself that I can’t wait for this month of March to be over. I lost a very close friend two weeks ago and last night I lost my “favorite” uncle. It seems that throughout my life this month of March has brought pain and heartache, and sadly, I have the proof to back it up. Anyone who knows me will joke and say to me”ugh, it’s that month of March for you.” And so it is, and so I try every year to change it. This year has been a tough one, and this morning I’m grieving and my heart is hurting.

I  hadn’t heard from my close friend, Rosamond, in almost two weeks, so my love and I trekked over to her house, only to find that the car hadn’t been moved and the house was locked up. I came home, called the local police and received the phone call I was dreading an hour later: they found her in her home, and she had passed away.

She was just 70 years old, but one of my closest friends and my greatest spiritual teacher. She was the one who introduced me to this amazing circle of “Angel” people that have been my teachers as well. I miss her everyday and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked up the phone to call her…yet she’ll never answer.

Last night I received a call from my cousin on the West Coast. He called to tell me my most favorite uncle had lost his battle to brain cancer. I knew it was coming but I wasn’t ready to

uncle bobby 8

My “favorite uncle” with his “favorite niece.”

know it. He was just 68 years old and a man that had a life of love and passion, excitement and adventure. No matter what life handed him, including cancer, he made the best of it. I’d love to believe that this part of him is part of me.

I’m feeling the loss so deeply this morning, yet I also believe that when someone passes we can still hear them…and sometimes still feel them. I’m grieving at the loss of the physical touch and the sound of their voice.

This morning I’m sitting quietly outside while the rest of my house is asleep; I’m sitting under my “magic tree,” which hasn’t yet bloomed, but it’s still magic. It’s under this tree that I wrote a poem which turned into a song by the same name; it’s under this tree that I can hear my loved ones on the other side; I can hear their reassurance of them being okay and that I will be too; I hear them whisper “I love you and always will” to me; I hear them that they take our love for them with them and that their love for us will always be a part of us; and I hear them assure me that they will always be with me, and that all I need is to speak to them, and they will listen and answer.

It’s this belief that helps me grieve and heal and brings me a sense of peace that while their physical body may be gone, their spiritual soul lives on. And it lives on in me.

Today I remember Rosamond, and I wish my Uncle Bob well on his travels to the other side, knowing he’ll be whole, he’ll be healthy, and he’ll be carrying all our love with him.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~”

*I wrote this song over a year ago and today I dedicate it to my “favorite uncle,” my Uncle Bobby and to my dear friend, Rosamond

 

“Taking The Next Step”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

next step 5

I can’t stay stagnant, I need to move forward, otherwise I begin to feel restless…and bored. I’m not saying that I’m always on the move, I just mean that when I feel comfortable in one of the many steps I’ve reached along my lifes’ journey, I know that it’s time to “take the next step.”

For instance, my writing. It took me two years to write my last book, “Waking Up,” and it was published last year. I took the time I needed during that “step” to promote and market my book, write song lyricss, produce a CD of songs, perform and speak in public, be interviewed, photographed and the list goes on. Now that I’ve accomplished the comfort of that step, I need to move onto the next: writing another book. And I’m working on two as I write this.

Jobs are the same…I know of people who absolutely love their job, mastering all the skills they needed to feel confident and comfortable, then one day they realize it’s getting boring and they want to move forward and move up in the company…they are ready for the “next step.”

Relationships are no exception. They are an endless amount of steps from beginning to date, to falling in love, to committing yourselves to each other, to living together to… well, that would be another “next step,” and that’s a tough one if you aren’t both on the same step (or page) at the same time.

Now to the heart of the matter: why do some people never take the next step? Why do they sit in the “comfort zone?” My answer would be this: fear. They’re afraid to do something uncomfortable or “out of the box.” They’re afraid of the “next step” not working out or changing their life in a way they may not want. They’re simply afraid to have faith in themselves to take that leap of faith onto “the next step.

Or they simply are content with a less than exciting chance at their life changing by taking the next step. These are the ones that I say “take things for granted.”

I’m not one of those people. I love my love and am very content with it, yet I know that it’s only a matter of time before that contentment turns to discontent and boredom, and I try never to let that happen.

If you’re not moving forward in your life then you’re standing still…on that “same step.”

I’m ready to climb the whole staircase, one step at a time, but I’m not willing to sit on the next step 2 and next levelsame one for the rest of my life. I want to reach for more, do more, and experience more in this lifetime of mine. I want to stay on the staircase of life, but I want to climb the steps when the time is right…and for me, the time is now.

 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Home In My Heart”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

 

home-is-where

A beating heart is a most precious gift, yet the heart is so much more. Our heart is our home.

I lived in a house for over twenty years with my five children. I moved five years ago and the worst part of it all was that I was saddened by the loss of all that we had in that house, the good times and the bad. It was filled with memories and pencil marks on the wall marking the kid’s height as they grew. It held the sounds of babies crying that grew into the sounds of teenagers laughing. It held everything that was important to me. It held one of the biggest parts of my life.

Yet then I realized that all that I believed  had been living in that house was actually living in my heart and that “my heart is my home.”

The heart is the keeper of our dreams and accomplishments; the guardian of our precious memories; it’s the lens to all those pictures in our minds and the teacher of all that we’ve learned. It holds our deepest secrets and our biggest truths. It holds all that is and all that will be.

My house was a just a building made up of walls, windows and doors, yet it was my heart that filled it with all that it needed to become a “home.”

And  that home lives in my heart.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“You’re Invited To My Party”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

balloons

You’re cordially invited to my pity party, no gifts necessary, just bring your best tales of everything wrong in your life. Wear your sweats and a t-shirt, slippers and bath robe optional. Bring your favorite wine or martini mixers to drown your sorrows in. Only sad movies will be watched and unhealthy snacks will be served. And at the end of it we can all fill up our empty drink glasses with tears.

So, do you want to come?

Not so much, huh?

Me either, yet there’s a day or two along my journey of life that I find myself as the only guest at my pity party. I’ve noticed that no one ever seems to want to go to it with me. Truth be told, I don’t want to be at it either, yet life sometimes sneaks up on us and hands us a “surprise pity party!” And for me, what a surprise it is! It’s the only party I’ve gone to that I can’t wait to be over. And there are no goody bags to take home.surprise

Unless you can change your perspective for a moment…

I’ll be honest, I’m having a surprise pity party today. It started out as a perfectly wonderful day, until my love and I were hit with a few “surprises.” We find ourselves challenging the bank and arguing with a car rental company; people who have no place in our world are trying to bust down the door to get in and consistently lean on the doorbell; emotions are behaving like a roller coaster, and deep sleep is broken by stones being thrown at us in our dreams. We’re running on empty with no signs of a gas station in sight.

Yet, I can still see a “goody bag” in it all. And no, I’m not crazy, I’m just getting better atgoody-bag knowing when it’s time to leave the pity party!

You see, I believe that it’s those occasional “pity party days” that truly help us to appreciate the real party of “life.” It’s those “down” days that make us grateful for the “up” ones. How could you know true happiness unless you had felt a twinge of sadness? How would you know joy without knowing pain?

You wouldn’t, because you’d never learn to see the difference.

And your “goody bag” is your “blessing bag” to take home. It’s the bag at the end of the pity party that you can fill with blessings.

Today as I prepare to say good-bye to this “pity party” and go home, I’ve stuffed my goody bag with the sounds of the laughter of my two boys, the feeling of my loves’ arms wrapped around me when he get’s home from work, the sounds of “Let It Be,” a song I love and was reminded of today, and with the gratitude of having this day at all. And just to be sure, I grabbed an extra handful of happiness for the life I’m blessed to have with my love, my children, and my closest of family and friends.

Well, I’m getting tired and the party is almost over, so I’m taking my goody bag and going home…to the party at home that lives in my heart, not to the pity party in my head.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

pity

This party’s over…you can go home now!

“Drawing A Line In The Sand”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

line_in_sand_rr_blog

Boundaries. I know all about them , write about them, and understand their purpose. Yet, I find myself having allowed boundaries to be crossed…. MY boundaries, that is. It happened without warning, yet it happened. I should have known that the feelings I’ve had in the last few months were my own fault, because I had set boundaries and allowed them to be crossed.

I don’t know if I’m more angry at myself for allowing it to happen or if I’m more upset with the person who crossed them. I was open and honest about my boundaries with them, yet somehow they got lost in the every day business of life and relationships.

Truth is, I have a hard time saying “no” and learning to do this, when it’s for my best interest, is a work in progress. I don’t like confrontation, and I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, especially when it’s someone I love. Yet I missed one very important piece to this puzzle:

“Why did I allow MY feelings to be hurt and why was I more concerned over someone I love when I should be loving myself just the same?”recite-1kfn7mb

Truth…an awakening…a slap of reality. Yes, yet another “waking up” moment for me, and I don’t like it. I allowed boundaries to be crossed that upset me, hurt me, and messed with my health. And I wonder if the other party knows this, because they should.

Everyone handles things their own way. Things that upset me may not bother someone else. Yet aren’t we supposed to respect and understand each others’ feelings? If someone tells us they react to something a certain way, shouldn’t we accept that as their truth? Or that perhaps they’re telling us that so we don’t hurt them?.

This was a difficult one for me to figure out, and it took longer than it usually does. I’m intrigued by what makes people tick, and that includes myself. I always tell my love that I’m probably one of the few people he knows that really knows herself well, and that includes my faults and my strengths. I’ll admit when I’m wrong, and ask for understanding of him when I need it. (Sometimes I think I make it too easy for him…what he can’t figure out about me I tell him! LOL!)

So, now what?

First, I need to forgive myself, because I’m mad that I allowed this to happen.

Second, I need to put the boundaries back in place, although the hurt and damage from them  being crossed is already done.

And third, I need to take a cold, hard look at my life to see what’s working and what’s not.

Why did I allow the lines in the sand to be crossed? Who and what is my priority? How did this mishap of crossing boundaries affect my family and my life?

Lines in the sand…that was my problem. I should have set a solid foundation of cement for the boundary. I thought I had, but sometimes when we worry more about someone else we lose sight of what’s best for us, and more importantly, we lose sight of ourselves.

And I’m guilty of that. And life is going to change. And feelings will be hurt.

Yet out of all of this, I know with all my heart that more wonderful things will come out of this lesson! Hearts will bond stronger, relationships will grow and flourish, and life will go on…even better than it was before the boundaries were crossed.

It’s a life lesson, and as much as I write about it, it’s a lesson I needed to learn. The Universe whacked me once again, waking me up to something important: I stopped looking out for my well being and what was good for me, even though I knew that someone else was causing me pain.

It wasn’t a mistake or something done out of malice, because I accept that it’s yet another lesson, another blessing, and another story to be shared to help and teach someone else.

Boundaries are not meant to be controlling tools; they are tools to protect us and let other’s know that we are to be respected. They are the simplest of ways to let someone know that what they do, what they say, or what they want, is not necessarily for OUR highest good… sometimes it’s just for theirs.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~