moving forward

“Bulk Day”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

 

I spent all day yesterday cleaning out my garage…not an easy task. My love moved in over a year ago, and the containers of tools and Rubbermaid containers of his stuff was still riddled all over, along with remnants of my babies childhood…and with too many memories of the past. I started the job at 8 in the morning, and was still at it by 3! And still there’s more to do!

My two boys spent over an hour hauling stuff to the curb for “bulk day” today, yet as I sat on my front porch with my coffee this morning, I was looking at the pile.

And the memories came flooding back…

And I wondered if I should bring some of it back in…

The one item I keep looking at is my yard swing. It’s over 15 years old, survived two marriages and their divorces, and had a happy life at my prior house that overlooked “my lake.” The kids and I lovingly called it “the sleeping swing” because anyone that sat on it eventually fell asleep, even the animals!

And so the memories of “the sleeping swing” are overtaking my thoughts, and I’m remembering bottle feeding our cat on it when the kids first brought him home, rocking my two youngest to sleep on it, and envisioning all those I love piled onto it.

I remember my kids and my nieces and nephews all piled on it for a group picture for the sleepinggrandparents; I remember my son and his friends hanging out on it in high school, sharing all their stories with me; I remember that swing being my serenity spot at night when everyone went to sleep; and I remember it always being a source of comfort for my kids and I, and anyone else who needed to be outside and find peace.

Yet sadly, the swing didn’t do as well at this house. It lost its’ protection of a roof from my old house, and as much as we tried to keep it covered during a rainstorm, the waters still leaked in, and soon enough, my beige swing was turning green with mold. No matter the effort we put into it to wash it and clean it, nothing seemed to work.

So yesterday we made the decision to say good-bye and put it at the curb. And here I sit, wondering if I should bring it back in.

I keep reminding myself that the memories stay with us much longer than an item does; and that the past is the past, and there’s such a time to let it go and say good-bye.

And I know, this is one of those times. It was so easy to toss it out yesterday, and much more difficult this morning seeing it out at the curb. My love told me he’ll go get it and bring it in, if that’s what I want, or we can get a new one next year.

As hard as it is to see it go, getting a new one to fit with this new life is how it should be. The “sleeping swing” holds memories that I share with my children and a life I had prior to this relationship, and I’m a big believer in letting the past go so that I can move forward.

So, good-bye to our “sleeping swing,” and much love and gratitude to you for over 15 years of peace and serenity…and now to look forward to next summer when we buy our new one.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“When The Truth Is Revealed”

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It’s a sad day when someone or something you believed to be one thing turns out to be something completely different…and it rocks your world. And it breaks your heart.

Yet it happened to teach you something about yourself.

Maybe your were too trusting; maybe you didn’t look closely enough at them; maybe the rush of exciting emotions clouded your judgement…or maybe you made them into something that they never really were. And you did that because you wanted to believe in them; you wanted to believe in it all.

I’m a writer, and I have to say that sometimes I wonder if I’m writing “my life” the same as when I’m writing a book or short story. Maybe I write my life to look perfect, be perfect and feel perfect, when in reality, it’s my way of avoiding the truth of someone or something. It’s a dangerous realization when you begin to wonder if it’s real…or if it’s simply the dream of something you’ve always wanted.

It’s happened to me more times than I can count in the last few years, and with each realization comes the ending of a friendship or relationship that I was finally able to see the truth about.

And on the day that those realizations came to fruition, so broke my heart; my emotions felt a level of hurt so great that it took my breath away; and the dream of “what was” turned into the nightmare of “what never was.”

Yet I survived it. I picked myself up, and took all those broken pieces of my heart and soul and began to put them back together. I searched the deepest part of my soul to understand why it happened, and find the lesson it was meant to teach me.

I’m still picking up the pieces that were shattered and am learning to distance myself from the people and situations that shattered them in the first place. I’me learning to set up boundaries in my life, and not allow other’s to cross them. I’m finding that “my strength is their weakness, and my weakness is their strength.” And I’m finding that I need to learn to trust other’s when they’ve earned that trust; and that those who lie, deceive and manipulate me are no one that is welcome in my world.

I’m not the only one who goes through this; in fact, I know several people in my life struggling with the same thing: that what they believed to be true had never been true at all.

So often we feel humiliated when this happens, but the truth is that we shouldn’t. Why feel something negative for being kind and compassionate or trusting and loyal? It’s just a lesson, my friends, and a hard one at that, yet with faith in ourselves we can learn from it and move on, stronger than ever.

Don’t beat yourself up for someone else’s shortcomings or hurtful behavior; forgive them, let them go, and move on.

And forgive yourself, because YOU have done nothing wrong.

You simply believed them to be something more than what they were, and they allowed you to see that they weren’t.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“What Inspires You?”

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How do you get “inspired?”

Most people think “inspiration” is just for creative people, such as writers, musicians, or artists. Yet we all wake up in the morning knowing what we have to do that day, whether it’s going to work, taking care of your children, or getting your “to do” list accomplished.

And all those things take some “inspiration.” You need to get yourself in the mindset of doing what needs to be done, and while most people don’t see that as “inspiration,” I do. Some of you may be thinking “how do you get inspired to go to work, or get motivated to do all the things on your to do list?” You may be thinking “where’s the inspiration there?”

Well, I’m here to tell you it IS there…it’s all in your perspective. As a writer I need to be “inspired” to write and create, yet I also need that same inspiration to help me get my other responsibilities done.

“Inspiration” is calming and peaceful, and it’s also exciting; it’s our soul taking a passioninspiration and turning it into a reality; it’s our mind making something mundane seem rewarding; and it’s our heart learning to love all that we do.

As I sat under my “magic tree” this morning having my coffee, I was inspired to write this post; I was inspired to organize my day into one of getting things done; and I was inspired to let go of the things that no longer serve me, and focus on the things that do!

My wish for you is to find “inspiration” in every thing you do; to change your perspective on the mundane into one of accomplishment; and to love yourself enough to find your “inspiration.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“It’s time to make a difference!”

“What’s YOUR Life Purpose?”

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Do you know what your life purpose is? Do you ever wonder what it is you’re meant to do with your time on this planet? I do…and throughout all my “adventures” in this lifetime so far, I believe I finally know what my “life purpose” is, and with each new day that I’m blessed to wake up to, I try and hold true to that purpose.

I’ve been through difficult times throughout my life, as well as some truly amazing and beautiful times. I’ve lived through breast cancer and two divorces, through financial freedom and difficulty, through children leaving the nest and moving across the country. I’ve said good-bye to loved ones, and welcomed in new ones. And I’ve viewed each of those as an adventure, a lesson to learn, another way of learning why I’m here.

So, what is my “life purpose?” It’s as simple as it is complex: it’s to make a difference inpurpose someone’s life, to a community, and to hopefully change the world, or at least a small piece of it.

In my book, “Waking Up,” I share many of my adventures, and not all of them are happy ones, yet in my stories, I’ve shared how I’ve gotten through them and how to view them more as “lessons,” not “tragedies.” Life is all about your perspective, and sometimes it takes but one person to make you see another side of a situation, to let you know you’re not alone, and to help you make sense of it all.

I don’t mind life handing me what it has so far, including breast cancer, I just want it to be for a reason. I’ll handle anything life throws my way, as long as I can learn from it and use those lessons to help someone else.

If I can touch even one person, then I will most assuredly know that I’m on the right path of my life purpose. If I can make someone feel better, let them know they’re not alone, help them heal their heart, or soothe their soul, then that’s enough for me!

Think about what your “life purpose” is, because the truth is, we’re all here for a reason!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

your move

“Relationships Are Like The Ocean”

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the sea

Every relationship we’re in is like the ocean; some days rough, some days angry, some days gentle and smooth. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a friendship, marriage, life partner or even a job. What matters is that we have to understand that these relationships are similar to the waves in the ocean, and we must choose to weather the storm or jump ship.

My love always says that every wave carries a story, and I believe every relationship does as well. We are ALL a story that’s always changing, just like the ocean. Yet as humans, when the seas get rough we’re ready to get out of the water and back onto the safety of the shore. And why is this? Why do we feel the need to leave a relationship when it gets rough?

Yes, there are some relationships that aren’t meant to last, and when we learn the lesson from it it’s best to wish it love and light and then drop it. And no, that doesn’t mean we jumped ship, it means we’ve moved onto another part of the ocean.

Then there are the relationships worth weathering the storm; the ones’ with a sharedstorm history or a love like we’ve never known before. These are the ones that you have to grab a life preserver and hang on until the sea get’s calm. With each “angry” wave there’s a lesson and a story, and when we understand it and learn from it, the “gentle” waves begin, and the relationship strengthens.

And that’s why I believe that our relationships in life are like the ocean: always changing, always different, yet always constantly in motion.

Yes, I’m a true Jersey girl, and the ocean has always been my place of peace and serenity. Every wave I sit and watch carries a story and message I need to hear, and I can tell you it has never disappointed me yet.

Close your eyes and listen to the voice of the sea; hear the stories and messages it needs to tell you. And when you open your eyes, the world will look and feel different, because YOU do.

Life isn’t meant to be “smooth sailing” all the time; it’s those rough seas that allow us to see who we truly are and just how strong we are, and when you can do that, you’ll know which relationships are worth “weathering the storm.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Don’t Die Before You Try”

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It hurts me to hear people talk negatively about their lives and about just “giving up.” It’s as if the situation that life has handed them just isn’t worth the fight, the struggle, or the time to learn the lesson.

Sadly, I’ve heard a lot of this lately and it makes me a bit angry as well. We all have things to go through, and what makes one person’s journey any less than someone else’s? As my uncle used to say: I never say “why me,” I always say “why not me?” And I guess that’s where my way of thinking comes in.

I’ve gone through many, many difficult situations in my life, as well as breast cancer, and truth be told, I never thought “why me.” I knew that it was a situation life chose to hand me to learn from, and with those lessons I decided to share them with others.

In my author bio on my book, “Waking Up,” I say: “I don’t mind what life hands me as long as I learn something from it and can help to make a difference to someone else.” And that’s how I live each day of my life.

It’s not always easy to stay positive, yet it’s a gift of “choice” we’re given to choose to be don't die before you trythat way.

It frustrates me to see people who give up so easily, whether it’s a life situation or cancer… it’s as if they’ve “died before they tried.”

Live each day of your life to the fullest, no matter what difficult situation life hands you. Embrace your challenges with grace and dignity…have faith and believe that you are stronger than the difficulties of the challenges you face.

And when you feel as if you can’t find the strength, let the strength find you. Trust me… it always does!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Finding Your “Inspiration”

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rainbow

How do you get “inspired?”

Most people think “inspiration” is just for creative people, such as writers, musicians, or artists. Yet we all wake up in the morning knowing what we have to do that day, whether it’s going to work, taking care of your children, or getting your “to do” list accomplished.

And all those things take some “inspiration.” You need to get yourself in the mindset of doing what needs to be done, and while most people don’t see that as “inspiration,” I do. Some of you may be thinking “how do you get inspired to go to work, or get motivated to do all the things on your to do list?” You may be thinking “where’s the inspiration there?”

Well, I’m here to tell you it IS there…it’s all in your perspective. As a writer I need to be “inspired” to write and create, yet I also need that same inspiration to help me get my other responsibilities done.

“Inspiration” is calming and peaceful, and it’s also exciting; it’s our soul taking a passion and turning it into a reality; it’s our mind making something mundane seem rewarding; and it’s our heart learning to love all that we do.

As I sat under my “magic tree” this morning having my coffee, I was inspired to write this post; I was inspired to organize my day into one of getting things done; and I was inspired to let go of the things that no longer serve me, and focus on the things that do!

My wish for you is to find “inspiration” in every thing you do; to change your perspective on the mundane into one of accomplishment; and to love yourself enough to find your “inspiration.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“A Broken Heart”

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“A broken heart is proof that it still works.” ~Anne Dennish~

Ah, the broken heart…we’ve all had one at one time or another in our life, and it’s never easy to get through.

But you can get through…if you choose to.

Life is what happens when we’re not paying attention, and what that means is that we’ve recite-1rs96tblost sight of the blessings in our life, and in some way, taken them for granted, always believing that if they’re there in the first place, they’ll never be taken away. And that’s how a broken heart happens: we weren’t paying attention.

Broken hearts are our greatest teachers, yet there’s a few things you have to understand to realize that.

Let’s be honest, broken hearts happen because of “love.” They happen when something suddenly rocks our world, and what we believed to be true suddenly looks very different….but maybe it isn’t different. Maybe it’s the same as it always was; we just didn’t take the time to see it.

We’re all human and we all make mistakes, but if you want to start to heal a broken heart you must throw away the “list of wrongs” and write the “list of rights.” Sure, when you’re heart is broken you feel betrayed, angry, hurt, even confrontational; all valid feelings yet negative emotions only bring negative reactions. So, when the the dust settles from these emotions, and you can put them aside, the real healing begins.

“Forgiving” is the hardest thing in the world to do; “loving” is the easiest. Yet, by forgiving, we release our anger and negativity; it doesn’t excuse someone’s behavior, but it allows us to move forward with clear eyes and an open heart.

My worst broken heart was my greatest teacher; I could sit here and go on and on that he treated me badly, hurt my feelings, disrespected me, and so on and so forth. And I used to wonder why someone could treat me badly, or break my heart; I didn’t feel like I deserved it. But here’s the truth:

I didn’t deserve it; I allowed it.

Hearts are broken from miscommunication, biting our tongue and not standing in our truth. I learned that the hard way; I should have used my voice, stood in my truth, and set clear boundaries of what I would allow and what I wouldn’t.

I know to do that now.

Time-to-change-myBroken hearts happen for many reasons, yet when you can put the hurt and blame aside, that’s when the reality comes in and the healing can start. When you take your own accountability in the brokenness, you heal, you become stronger, and you learn something about yourself…and with that, you’re given the gift of changing yourself.

I can promise you that your broken heart will mend; and it will mend stronger…but you have to do the work and LET IT!

“Broken hearts are the reality of what we lost sight of.” ~Anne Dennish~

Life as we know it can change with a broken heart, but why not let it change for the better? Look at the positive in a hurtful situation; something wasn’t working, the Universe whacked you with a 2×4 to wake you up, and now you’ve been given a chance to learn and change.

I believe that there’s always something good to be found in the storm; it will take time to see, but it’s there. The choice to see it is up to you. And sometimes, just sometimes, maybe it’s the “storm before the calm.”

Life’s an adventure with ups and downs; how you handle it and move forward is your gift of choice…choose wisely!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Life Is Always Changing…”

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“Life is always changing, time to turn the page,
The story continues, it’s mine to create.
So what do I do now? Where do I go?
Do I let my mind lead me backwards in time
Or move ahead slow?”

lyrics from “What Now” by Anne Dennish & Sutton Thomas

It’s true, life is always changing, and while change can sometimes be difficult, it’s certainly proof that we’re still breathing! Life is an adventure, and lessons for our Highest Good are everywhere, just waiting for us to see them and learn from them.

We’re always having “waking up” moments; that moment when you suddenly become aware of something you never saw before; never realized before; or never knew before.

Yet again, maybe those “somethings” were there all along; it was YOU that changed! You cleared your mind; you listened to your intuition; or perhaps you learned something new about yourself that allowed you the clear sight to see something in a different light.

It’s called “change.” And while life is always changing, so are we. We’re changing for our Highest Good; changing to live the life we always wanted and so deserve; changing to pursue our dreams.

So why are some so scared of change? It’s because we don’t always know where the change will take us…so we will “let our mind lead us backwards in time.” Yet when you embrace the change of the lessons you learned, it’s time to “move ahead slow.”

During our time here on earth, we move into many different lives. We grow, we mature, and we learn as we go, so why go back in time? Go, if only to remember for a moment while you left it in the first place, but jump back quickly into the present; it’s the present that will help build your future.

Let life change you; embrace the lessons your are gifted; release the past with love and light, because what once served you has done its’ time, and something “new” is waiting for you…it always is.

Wishing you love and light and a grand adventure,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Help… I Need Somebody!”

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In the midst of barbeques and time spent with friends this past weekend, my love and I were able to find some down time to watch movies from the comfort of our serenity cave. One movie in particular stuck with me: “28 Days” with Sandra Bullock, who plays a writer that had to go to rehab. The theme of the story wasn’t what intrigued me; it was the messages throughout the movie. One in particular stood out to me. Her character, Gwen, had broken the rules, to which her therapist made her wear a sign around her neck that said: “Confront me if I don’t ask for help.” As usual, it got me to thinking and wondering:

How often do WE ask others for help?28days

Most of us, including myself, will answer: not very often. The answer should be: not enough! I realized as I watched this movie that rehab isn’t just for addictions; it’s for changing a life that wasn’t working and learning how to speak your own truth, and be comfortable with it. And isn’t that how life should be for all of us?

I’m willing to help anyone and everyone, as are most of the people in my circle. I feel good helping someone else, no matter what help is needed. Yet when we need help with something, we don’t ask. We don’t want to burden another, or worse yet, we don’t want to believe we need the help. In society today we seem to be so programmed to believe that “we can do it all with no help from anyone!” It’s as if we’re trained to believe that this is what makes us strong and self-sufficient. That’s all well and good, yet when we don’t ask for help we become tired, run-down, emotionally spent, and worse yet, we get sick.

The flip side of this is that while we feel like a wonderful human being by helping someone else who asks for help, we don’t ask them and don’t allow them the rights to the same good feelings we get by helping out. It’s kind of ironic, isn’t it? Then again, maybe it’s selfish on our part. Why do we want to feel good yet not allow someone else the same right? A little “food for thought” here!

I’m guilty of this and it’s something I’m working on changing. I’ve spent a lifetime doing everything myself, rarely asking for help when I knew deep down inside I needed it. I didn’t like appearing weak, or needy. When someone asked me for a favor, I jumped at the chance, whether I had the time or not.It didn’t matter that I was exhausted, or had to change my schedule to help them, I just did it. I’m not saying that’s wrong, but I am saying that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes. We need to take care of ourselves first in order to truly help someone else.

Every day I work on saying “no” if  it’s not for my Highest Good, and am trying hard to ask for help when I need it. I’m willing to allow someone else the chance to feel needed, to help a friend out and know that they made a difference in my day and in my life. My mantra for my book, “Waking Up” is: “It’s time to make a difference, and we can make a difference together.” Well, that is yet another “waking up” moment in my life: to admit that I’m not weak if I need help, that in fact, asking for help shows a sign of strength; that my “making a difference” in life and the world also includes allowing other’s to be part of that journey with me; and more importantly, that I’m a work in progress, learning more about myself every day on this journey of life, and that’s okay.

The Universe throws so many “signs” at us, and we’ll see them if we just pay attention. Watching an old movie brought to light many signs I had been missing, and asking for help was just one of them. Owning “our truth” isn’t always easy, especially if it involves a quality in ourselves that we don’t care for, yet when you own your “truth,” you own your right to change it. It’s your lesson to learn, and your choice on how to handle it.

Today I work on asking for help if I need it, whether it’s simply a much needed phone call with a friend, or a strong arm to hold me at the end of the day. Today I incorporate the “Serenity Prayer” in my lifeand know that I been gifted ” the courage to change the things I can,” and asking for help, finding my balance in this crazy world, and loving myself are all things I can change for my Highest Good.serenity

“Confront me if I don’t ask for help.”

Remember that as you go throughout your day and each day to come; let someone else feel the peace and joy you feel by helping them, because in the end:

“It’s time to make a difference, and we can make a difference together.”

And today I’m remembering that!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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