mammogram

“What” Is Not As Important As “Why”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

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“What’s” happened to you in your life isn’t as important as “why” it happened. ~AD~

We all experience some difficult situations in our life and I’ve come to accept and understand that the “what” that’s happened to me isn’t as important as  the“why” that it did.

We’re so quick to blame others for our difficult times, yet we have a hand in those situations as well. Perhaps we aren’t being our authentic self or standing in our truth to those around us. Maybe we change “who” we are according to the people we are around at a particular moment. I can tell you that I’ve learned that I am in control of what I allow to happen to me and it’s up to me to set healthy boundaries for my highest good…and it’s not always easy to do.

I had breast cancer and it can’t always be prevented, yet I could have had a mammogram sooner than I had; I went 5 years without one and only had one done when I found my tumor. So while this “what” may have been destined to happen to me, the “why” it happened when it did was because I wasn’t loving myself enough to get that mammogram every year like I should have. I know better now.

I’ve lived through divorce and a bad relationship. The “what” that caused an ending to these relationships isn’t as important as the “why” it happened. It happened because I was allowing those people to treat me in a way I didn’t deserve. What you allow will continue and it did for me until I realized I deserved better and decided to stop it.

And I’ve lived through emotional, verbal and physical abuse. It went on for years until I finally put an end to it. “What” was said and done to me isn’t as important as “why” it was done to me. It happened because I let it happen. I wasn’t as strong as I am now, my self-esteem was non-existent, and I blamed myself for causing all those things that were said and done to me then. I was at the bottom and when I finally decided that enough was enough, I pulled myself up off the floor and began to see clearly of the “why” it happened. I began to get stronger day by day and set up boundaries that were never again to be crossed by anyone, and if they were, I certainly recognized it sooner. It happened because I let it, not because I deserved it. It was yet another life lesson for me to learn.

You have to love yourself, respect yourself, and know that you don’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone, especially by yourself. Let’s face it, we’re all masters of self-sabotage at times…we can hurt ourselves better than the person who is hurting us. Yet that’s not the way it should be; you know that as well as I do.

It’s time we all, myself included, stop focusing on the “what” that happened to us and start looking deep within ourselves to see our truth of the“why” it happened.

It’s then that we learn and grow and move forward into the life we want and deserve.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“A Gift From My Mammogram”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

 

love-your-life-back

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in July of 2013, began chemo in August, and had my lumpectomy in February of 2014. Everything came out great and I was “cancer free!” What happens next is a mammogram every 6 months. Yesterday was my 6 month mammogram, and after all was said and done, everything was fine. The best news of all is that I only have to go once a year now, just like everyone else who never had breast cancer. It’s a funny way to think about it and as I left the hospital today I felt relief.  I felt like this was a gift of feeling normal again because in the first time in three years I didn’t have to have a mammogram every 6 months…I was back to “once a year” like every one else.

It feels like a lifetime ago that I was diagnosed with breast cancer, yet the reality is that it was just three years ago. It’s funny how life can take all those memories of a journey and tuck them away, only to come out when needed. I thought when the cancer was gone, so would all the thoughts of it, yet I’ve used that “journey” to help other women battling the disease. I’ve made some amazing “soul sister” friends throughout my journey, and throughout theirs. I’ve been able to share my stories of faith and a strong, positive attitude. I’ve laughed with them over chemo stories and given them a safe shoulder to cry on when they needed to let it out.

I never want to have breast cancer again, yet if my having it meant I could write about it and help other women through it, then so be it. If I’ve helped one person through their journey, then my journey had value, and more importantly, a reason.

I’m grateful for the outcome of my mammogram and look forward to that same gratitude once a year. I want you to have the same, so please, get your mammogram. Get checked once a year because while you can’t prevent breast cancer, you can catch it early.

My life may not be perfect, but it’s perfect for me and today I sit in immense gratitude for the gifts that God has given me…and two healthy breasts are at the top of the list this week!

Love your life and let it love you back!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~