“The Lesson In Disappointment”

A week from today I was supposed to fly to California. It’s a trip I’ve been looking forward to ever since I booked my flight over a month ago. Aside from my “happy place” at the Jersey Shore where I live, Malibu is my other “happy place.” The energy there is amazing and for some reason, I feel like I’m “home” when I’m there. Two years ago I spent a week in a Malibu beach house where I finished my book, “Waking Up.” I did some of my best writing there and it was an intense soul searching time for me as well. This trip was important to me, not only because I’d be in a place I love, but because I’d be seeing my oldest son (who I haven’t seen in over a year), my Nike Nephews and would be writing and working on another book.

Over the last few days my intuition was screaming to me: “It’s not the time to go.” And that thought stuck in my head for days. My sister called me two days ago and said that she had a bad feeling about me going and that I should go another time. She also told me to remember what I always say: Everything happens for a reason. And if there’s one thing I believe in with all my heart and one I tell others is this: trust your intuition because it never lies.

So yesterday morning I had to make an adult, big girl, responsible, smart decision…and they’re not the most fun to make. I cancelled my trip. And to say I was disappointed is an understatement, yet I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. There were too many factors popping up in the last week and I knew days ago that I would have to decide whether to go or not. I don’t like when things get complicated and this trip was beginning to get more and more complicated.

I went to the hairdresser in the morning feeling disappointed and sad and I ran errands feeling disappointed and sad. Those feelings stuck with me all day, yet once I was in the comfort of my home the tears came. The tears started late in the afternoon and continued until I fell asleep. They came in waves over dinner, and came as sobs during my bath. There was nothing I could do to stop the tears; I felt sad, disappointed and broken and I kept wondering “Why did this happen to me?”

And then the answers came through the questions in the tears: because you needed to learn something….and I did.

I remembered what it is I always tell people, and when I heard Elizabeth Gilbert say it I had confirmation that it’s true: set your priorities, make boundaries around your sacred space, and learn to say no.

And that’s true…and I know that, yet I forgot that.

My lesson was that I had lost sight of my priorities, I was allowing people to cross my boundaries, and I was saying “yes” to things I should have been saying “no” to.

So yes, I had a day of sadness and disappointment, of feeling broken, but I knew I had to go through it and get through it and I did. My soul needed to cry long and hard to let go of what I was feeling.

I sit here this morning with a headache and swollen eyes, yet knowing I learned a lesson the hard way…and an important lesson at that.

My point to you is don’t feel badly for having a down day; they happen for a reason and that reason, more often than not, teaches you something that’s for your Highest Good. Sometimes it’s those “dark” days that enable us to see the “light.” Feel what you have to, learn the lesson, and let it go.

Sometimes our biggest disappointments teach us our greatest lessons.

And I’m good with that.

Because this is life…

And it’s a part of the journey. 

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

disappointment

Happy Anniversary “Waking Up”

Today I celebrate the one year anniversary publication date of my book, “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer.”

I began writing it during my journey with breast cancer. It began as a book of my quotes, which eventually turned into short stories, the topics of which are many: love, family, children, addiction, sexuality, relationships and more. Each story was based on my own personal experience or that of someone close to me, and yes, they’re all true stories.

As I began to put the book together to send to the publisher, I had a last minute thought, which would prove to be the most helpful to some people: I included my breast cancer journal. It was an up-close, personal and very intimate look into my journey with breast cancer.

It took over two years to write “Waking Up,” and when writer’s block was slowing me my malibudown as I neared the end to finish it, a friend offered me the use of her Malibu beach house. I took advantage of the offer and went out there in October of 2015, spending a week writing the last few stories of the book. I had no distractions while there, unless you count my view of the ocean, which was sitting at the bottom of the steps of the house. It was a dream come true to be on the water, watching the waves, listening to the sounds, and being able to walk the beach under a beautiful sunlit sky everyday. I miss that house so much, yet the memories of that time there remain. The last story I wrote for my book was written on the deck of that house and it’s called “Voice of the Ocean.” I finished my book, packed my bags, wrote my name in the sand of that Malibu beach and flew home.anne dennish

The cancer journey ended, but the book hadn’t. It took another year to complete it, and while I was frustrated over the time it was taking, I knew that there was a reason why. I’d find out that reason in February of 2015 when I met the love of my life. He has been my inspiration and my muse ever since, and many of the stories are born out of our love for one another and all that I’ve learned since I met him. You can see why I believe so strongly that “everything happens as it should, when it should, and how it should.”

“Waking Up” was published one year ago today, and of all the things I’ve written over the years, this was truly my most valued piece. What started as a book of quotes turned into something different, yet my intention was always the same: to make a difference in someone’s life. And judging by responses I’ve received during the last year, I’d say that I did.

Thank you to all of you who have supported “Waking Up” throughout the last year! It means the world to me and I couldn’t have done it without you!

Reach for the stars, catch your dreams, and live your life to the fullest!

Dreams really do come true…and that I can promise you!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Copies of “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer” can be purchased online at BarnesandNoble.com, Amazon.com and in most Barnes & Noble stores.

“Relationships Are Like The Ocean”

the sea

Every relationship we’re in is like the ocean; some days rough, some days angry, some days gentle and smooth. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a friendship, marriage, life partner or even a job. What matters is that we have to understand that these relationships are similar to the waves in the ocean, and we must choose to weather the storm or jump ship.

My love always says that every wave carries a story, and I believe every relationship does as well. We are ALL a story that’s always changing, just like the ocean. Yet as humans, when the seas get rough we’re ready to get out of the water and back onto the safety of the shore. And why is this? Why do we feel the need to leave a relationship when it gets rough?

Yes, there are some relationships that aren’t meant to last, and when we learn the lesson from it it’s best to wish it love and light and then drop it. And no, that doesn’t mean we jumped ship, it means we’ve moved onto another part of the ocean.

Then there are the relationships worth weathering the storm; the ones’ with a sharedstorm history or a love like we’ve never known before. These are the ones that you have to grab a life preserver and hang on until the sea get’s calm. With each “angry” wave there’s a lesson and a story, and when we understand it and learn from it, the “gentle” waves begin, and the relationship strengthens.

And that’s why I believe that our relationships in life are like the ocean: always changing, always different, yet always constantly in motion.

Yes, I’m a true Jersey girl, and the ocean has always been my place of peace and serenity. Every wave I sit and watch carries a story and message I need to hear, and I can tell you it has never disappointed me yet.

Close your eyes and listen to the voice of the sea; hear the stories and messages it needs to tell you. And when you open your eyes, the world will look and feel different, because YOU do.

Life isn’t meant to be “smooth sailing” all the time; it’s those rough seas that allow us to see who we truly are and just how strong we are, and when you can do that, you’ll know which relationships are worth “weathering the storm.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“The Voice of the Ocean”

In my book, “Waking Up,” I wrote a story called “The Voice of the Ocean.” And I can remember how it came to fruition…
 
I was sitting in a dear friends house in Malibu, right on the beach. It was the most beautiful, peaceful, serene space I could have possibly in. She let me stay at her house so that I could finish the book, yet that week there proved to be so much more to me. It was actually another “waking up” moment, because, while I did finish the book, it turned into a major soul searching time there.
 
It’s funny how much time you have to think when you’re alone, and even though I was writing throughout the days and nights, I was alone with my thoughts… and the sounds of the ocean. And the sounds of the ocean turned into the “voice of the ocean,” filled with messages and waking up moments.
 
The greatest thing I learned out there was this:
 
“That I loved more than I allowed myself to be loved; that because I’ve not given someone else a chance to prove that they can love me as well as I can love them, I couldn’t feel it. I feel it now.”
 
Wow, what a moment that was… to realize that I was still carrying a fear of having my heart broken and my soul hurt. I realized in that one moment that while I can love well, I never allowed someone else the chance to love me the same. Everything changed in that awakening moment. All the walls around my heart that I thought were gone, suddenly crumbled. And life has been amazing ever since.
I’ll be forever grateful for that time in Malibu, because it changed my life, and I love when my life changes for the better. We are all works in progress and constantly learning more about ourselves every day… that is, if we allow it.
 
Listen to your intuition, follow your heart, and get that “fear” out of your world. I’m telling you this: life and love is a leap of faith, in yourself and others. Take the leap and land in love!
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~

my malibu

Another “waking up” moment for me in Malibu!