We’ve all gone through tough times in our lives.
Some people let those difficult situations make them a better person; they learn the lessons, heal themselves, and get back up on their feet even stronger.
Then there are those people that let those difficult situations make them a bitter person; they can’t see that there was a lesson to learn through the experience, they don’t or won’t heal from it, and they’d rather stay down than pick themselves up.
The better person learns to forgive and let it go; they continue moving forward, no matter what life hands them. They use their experiences to help others and love the world.
The bitter person holds onto the anger and refuses to forgive; they stay stuck in the negative emotions of the experience and can’t see all the endless possibilities that are outside of that time. They’re unable to love the world because their bitterness prevents them from loving themselves.
Which person are you?
Be that person that learns from the tough times and embraces the lessons learned from it; be that person who continues to love the world even if the world isn’t loving you back the way you want; be that person who keeps moving forward and uses the difficult times and the triumph of overcoming them to share with others.
Be that person.
I know that you can.
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I wrote this quote many years ago near the end of my 20 year marriage. As I began to heal physically and emotionally from all the turmoil of that, I realized that it was at my moments of anxiety, sadness or depression that he became strong. At first I thought he was showing true signs of kindness, yet in time I realized what was really happening: I was feeding his ego and he was starving my self-esteem. He felt like “the big man” helping the poor, defenseless, broken woman. The woman HE broke. The woman he was abusive to; the woman he told over and over again was stupid and ugly; the woman he told would never be loved by anyone.
And I believed him…until I stopped believing him.
Are you wondering how I stopped believing all that negative stuff he had embedded into my brain? I woke up. I realized that I had allowed him the freedom to treat me that way. I allowed him to speak down to me and allowed him to be disrespectful to me. So, one day I woke up and stopped allowing it, and when I did that the marriage was done and over with.
I went through years of healing myself mentally and emotionally, and of course it was with the help of many spiritual teachers and a wonderful tribe of true friends that I was able to. I’m grateful for each and every one of them.
I learned so much about myself and that loving myself first was the answer to preventing anyone anyone from treating me that way. You’d think it would never happen again, yet I’m human; we’re all human. Sometimes life brings you back to an experience that you thought you had learned the lessons from, yet life knows when you forget the lesson. And the Universe will put a similar experience back into your way until you wake up and realize that what you stopped allowing years ago, you’re allowing once again.
Even after that divorce I would find myself meeting someone whose ego was strengthened by my weakness, and for those that know me, they know I’m anything but weak. It would sporadically happen here and there throughout the years, yet now I’m much more able to recognize it when it’s happening. I’ve learned that those people lack control of their own life so they try and control mine; they lack self-respect and are unable to respect anyone else; they don’t feel strong unless they’re paired up with someone weak.
And I am no longer that girl.
I want to be treated the way I deserve and the way that I treat others: with love, kindness, compassion, consideration and loyalty, and I won’t settle for anything less. I want to be loved for the person I am, quirks and all, because I love the person that I’ve become.
We all have moments of feeling weak and that’s okay; it’s those moments that help us to find our strength again and stand back up on our feet even stronger.
We all have moments of finding ourselves back in a situation that we thought would never return and that’s okay; you’re given that situation to remind you of the lesson you forgot.
And we all find ourselves staring into the mirror, looking at ourselves and wondering how we got here and what happened to us, and that’s okay; keep looking in that mirror long enough and you’ll once again see the person you thought was lost.
It’s those moments of feeling lost that we’re actually finding ourselves again, and we’re finding an even better and stronger version of the person we once were.
Life is about balance and we all fall out of balance every so often. It’s when the world around us is spinning out of control that we see the truth of everything, and it’s in those moments that we find our balance again.
Don’t let anyone make you feel weak; surround yourself with people that make you feel strong.
Don’t spend your precious time feeding someone’s ego; spend your time feeding your self-esteem.
And don’t rely on anyone loving you the way you want to be loved; love yourself that way first and the rest will fall into place.
Everything in your life begins with YOU.
Stop allowing what you don’t want to continue.
Forgive yourself when you forgot a lesson you learned and continue moving forward.
And love yourself.
If you do nothing else, love yourself.
Anything and everything is possible if you begin with love.
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
The older we get the more experiences we have under our belt, yet there are times we forget how far we’ve come on this life journey.
We all go through rough days and tough times, no matter our age. It’s in those moments that we wonder how in the world we’re going to make it through, how we’re going to get past this difficult experience, how we’re going to find strength in a soul that is exhausted.
Yet we do.
And do you know how to do that?
You need to remember what you’ve already gone through and that you made it through…and sometimes by the skin of your teeth, but you made it through. And you made it through stronger, different, and better.
Never forget how far you’ve come…never forget the lessons you learned, and some you learned through the worst of times.
And never forget that you never thought you’d make it through, but you did.
You got through a day, slept through a night, and woke up to a new day in the morning.
A new day with no mistakes in it.
A new day to do it all differently than the day before.
A new day to change your life.
And that day is a very good day.
Life will always throw a challenge or two your way, yet it’s so important to remember that we’ve been through difficult times before and we made it through.
“Never forget how far you’ve come.”
Remember that…
Always remember that…
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Everything begins with you…and I can’t say that often enough to you. There are moments even I have to remind myself of that.
And those moments seem to come when we place more value on others than we do on ourselves, and when that happens, well, everything hits the fan!
We find ourselves seeing the true colors of friends; we see that they weren’t who we thought they were; and when that happens we find ourselves feeling betrayed, hurt and angry. We wonder why they couldn’t be as loyal to us as we were to them; we wonder why they turned their back on us; we wonder why they crossed our boundaries of friendship.
We wonder what happened, why things went the way they did, and what did it all mean…in other words, we want to know WHY it happened.
No one can control another; no one can make another loyal and trusting to you; no one can make someone love them.
We can only control ourselves.
And that’s a great power to have: the power to make decisions that are best for YOU!
You see, you lost sight of how valuable you are; you valued someone else so much that you forgot to value yourself; you placed way too much importance on someone who hurt you.
If you can’t see how valuable you are, how do you expect anyone else to?
It all begins with you.
Walk away from those who bring you down; wish them love and light, be grateful for the lessons it taught you, and move forward.
Let go of the negative people you’ve allowed in your bubble and make room for the positive people to come in.
Know your value…know your worth.
It’s a good thing!
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
“Waking Up” was the title of my last book and of the song I wrote to go with it. It was born out of my journey with breast cancer when a nurse asked me on my last day of treatment how the experience affected me. My answer was quick: “It woke me up.”
And it sure did.
But you don’t need to go through an illness to “wake up” to your life and how you’re living it.
I believe we all have those moments of “waking up” in which we see a situation differently…we see it with open eyes and more clarity. We see the truth. We see what’s working in our life and what isn’t. We see who belongs in our bubble and who doesn’t.
And then we have the choice to change it.
I’ve been going through a few “waking up” moments myself and while there are moments of sadness in what needs to be changed, there’s many more moments of happiness because of the change.
“Waking up” moments bring us life lessons to be learned so that we can live our life to the fullest and for our Highest Good.
Change isn’t always easy but I can promise you that it will always be worth it.
Because “YOU” are worth it!
Know the value of who you are…
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
“There is a dreamer who lives in a world,
Of endless possibilities…never any boundaries.”
by Anne Dennish
Just a little something I wrote two years ago about my life as a dreamer, yet it’s a song for everyone who has a dream…and I hope that’s all of you. We all have a “dreamer” inside of us just waiting to break out.
I often write about setting boundaries in your life that are best for you, yet where dreams are concerned, there should be NO boundaries! Dream as big as you can and take that leap of faith to catch them!
It’s a good thing!
Enjoy my song called “The Dreamer.”
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
My friend, Peg, called me the other day to ask my opinion about a situation. She was feeling hurt over someone crossing her boundaries and in seeing the truth of them: that what she thought them to be wasn’t really who they were. She asked me how to get past that emotion of feeling hurt and betrayed.
I thought about it for a moment and came up with this analogy, one which I hope helps everyone.
Picture your life as a bubble and you’re in the center. Let’s say you’re only allowed 10 people in there with you. If you have 6 positive people and 4 negative in there then it’s full…there are no seats left for any other positive people to get in. Your bubble is full to capacity.
I can’t tell anyone enough that it is your decision of who you allow in your bubble, and you should always love yourself enough to want to surround yourself with positive people: people who are loyal to you, have your back, love and respect you, lift you up, support you, and more importantly, are honest with you. You want to keep your “vibe in the tribe” as positive as possible, because negativity breeds negativity and you don’t want an epidemic of that in your bubble!
So, when you realize there’s some negative people in that bubble and you want more positive people taking their place, do the math. You need to end your relationships with the negative people, wish them love and light, be grateful for the lessons they taught you, and move forward. And when you do that, hard as it may be, you’ve just opened a few more seats up in your bubble and have made room for the positive people to come in.
We all find ourselves in this situation now and again, yet it’s important to understand that these experiences happen to teach us a lesson about ourselves. Each of us has the control of who we allow in our bubble and each of us had a choice of keeping it positive or allowing the negative to take up residence.
Who do you have in your bubble? Is the vibe in your tribe a positive one? Are there more negative than positive people in there with you?
Only you know the answer to those questions and only you can choose what’s best for you.
Think about it.
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I believe in positive affirmations; trying to always see the positive rather than focusing on the negative. I know the power of words and the wrong words, or negative words, can have a strong impact on you and the person you say them to.
Listen, no one is perfect, least of all me, but I would rather lift someone up with positive words than bring them down by telling them their faults. In fact, if you want to see someone change into the awesome person they truly are, speak kindly to them, tell them their strengths, share how you feel about them with them, and focus on the good things about them, not the negative.
Our imperfections make us beautiful. Our flaws make us flavorful. Our quirks make us memorable.
I’ve raised five children and if you think there haven’t been things they’ve done that bother me, well, you’re kidding yourself. I love them with all my heart and for who they are, yet I would rather tell them what I love about them and what their strengths are rather than tell them their faults, such as “you left the wet towel on the floor again, why don’t you put the cap on the toothpaste and…” and so on.
And as the children have grown as well as myself, I pick my battles. I try and lift everyone in my life up; I try never to pick at the small things because there are so many more big and wonderful things about them. Sometimes it’s those silly things that bother us that we’ll miss one day.
If you continually point out someone’s faults to them, I can promise you they’re going to shut down because what you’re telling them is that you don’t accept them for who they are; that all you see is their faults; that you say you love them but they won’t feel it because all you do is pick at what you don’t like about them rather than telling them what you do.
If you’re consistently looking for perfection from the people in your tribe then you’ll be disappointed. If you can’t see more good than bad in the people you surround yourself with then leave them.
Ask yourself this: how would you feel if the people you love were constantly picking at you and expressing the negative things about you? Would you begin to shut down? Would you stop caring? Would you feel as badly as they were making you feel?
It’s simple: treat the people in your life the way you want to be treated.
Pick your battles; accept the people you love for who they are, not who you want them to be; and lift them up with positive words because the negative words you speak to them will bring them down and will only hurt you as well in the end.
See the good and stop seeing the bad.
Pick your battles, my friends, please pick your battles.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I’ve always loved the author, Elizabeth Gilbert. I’ve read most of what she’s written yet I have to say that her one book, which turned into a movie starring Julia Roberts, was my favorite, and that was the infamou “Eat, Pray, Love.” It’s a true story of her life at that point in her journey and one that I learned many life lessons from.
Another book she wrote, “Big Magic” is my second favorite because, as a writer, I understand all that she speaks of and writes about.
So when the opportunity came up a few weeks ago to see her speak in person, I jumped at the chance.
As a writer, I’ve always wanted to meet her and share my own books with her, but 
opportunities to do that are far and few in between. I’ve held onto the thought, actually, “the dream” of meeting her one day, and I’ve held that dream for many, many years.
As a spiritual person I knew that if my meeting her was meant to happen, it would, and it would happen as it should, how it should and when it would. So it was no surprise that in February a post from Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey appeared on my Facebook newsfeed: Elizabeth Gilbert would be speaking there. I knew I needed to get tickets and if that wasn’t enough, the event was being held on my birthday! It was at moment that I knew the Universe had set this dream of mine up to become a reality…my patience and continued belief that I would meet her someday was paying off.
I proceeded directly to “purchase tickets” and much to my surprise and excitement found that I could buy tickets which also allowed a “meet and greet” with Liz. My head was spinning and my heart skipping beats as I realized that this dream of mine was coming true…that I would finally get to meet one of my “hero’s” of literature. I purchased the tickets and sat with the biggest grin on my face for the rest of the night…actually for everyday that was one day closer to that night.
As the time was quickly approaching I was beginning to get a bit nervous, after all, 
meeting a “hero” can either be wonderful or a shot in the arm. What we perceive people to be through their books and social media does not always ring true when you meet them. I hoped upon hope that she would be everything I had imagined…
And she was…and she was more than I had imagined.
My love and I were about fifth in line to meet her. I knew she wasn’t signing any of her books that night, but had hoped she would accept my two books as my birthday gift to her!
Her staff took my coat and pocketbook, as well as my cell phone so that they could take pictures. My heart was racing as I walked toward her. It was such a surreal moment of seeing her and walking towards this woman whose books had changed my life. As I approached her, she smiled, said “hello,” and embraced me in a hug, one filled with all the love and light she is…and with an incredible amount of energy!
She spent about five minutes speaking with me and graciously accepted my books. I told her that it was my birthday, to which she wished me a wonderful one, and that I had just reached my four year breast cancer survivor date. I offered my condolences over the loss of her wife, Rayya, and told her how much she meant to me. She took the time to pose for several pictures with me and I was on my way.
I was in heaven…on Cloud Nine, if you will. And so was every other person that had the chance to meet her that night.
It was time for her to speak so we took our seats in the fourth row. I snapped picture
after picture and hung onto every profound word she spoke. Meeting her was a dream come true, yet I had one more opportunity to speak “one on one” from the audience with Liz. She had time for a few questions and I was right up in line in front of a microphone asking her mine. I felt as though it was a private conversation between the two of us, even though there was an entired audience sharing in it!
It was truly the most perfect birthday I’ve ever had, and that energy, that feeling of my dream coming into a reality lasted well past that night…once again an experience with Elizabeth Gilbert changed me a bit, put a few things in a different perspective, and made me want to be as good a writer as she is and be able to touch a life and the world in the laid back, easy going, and honest way that she does.
So if you were to ask me what she was like I would tell you this: She was beautiful, humble, kind, compassionate, honest, down to earth, sweet, warm, loving and an amazing human being to be in the presence of.
Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for being all that I had hoped and more; for putting the real you out there for the world to see, not some facade of what the world wants you to be; and for embracing me, speaking with me, and accepting my two books that I’ve written, and two books which carry a lot of lessons I’ve learned from you.
It was my honor, my privilege, and my dream turned into a reality to meet you.
And that is my experience on meeting Elizabeth Gilbert.
It was one I will never forget.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 