“We’re Dreamers ‘Til The End”

“A dreamer is a realist with faith.”

Faith in their dreams and faith in themselves.

I was in Virginia a few weeks ago to celebrate my nephew, Gavin’s, high school graduation. It was the first time in years that so much of our family was under the same roof for the night and we all had a good time.

I was in Virginia a few weeks ago to celebrate my nephew, Gavin’s, high school graduation and I got to spend some time alone with him. We had a conversation I’ll remember forever: he shared his “dreams” with me. 

Yes, we spoke of college and his football career, but most of the conversation was about his dreams. 

And he said he must get that “dreamer” thing from me.

And I couldn’t have been more proud.

Gavin told me that he wants to make a difference in the world, even if it’s making a difference to just one person. He told me that he’s not looking to be famous, but if he is he wants to be famous for helping people and changing someone’s life for the better. He told me his “dreams” of a better world and I understood exactly what he was talking about because I dream of the same. Gavin and I aren’t just waiting for our dreams to come true, we’re doing what it takes to turn our dreams into a reality.

I received a “thank you” card from Gavin and this proud auntie shed a tear at the last line of the card: “We’re dreamers together ‘til the end!”

And we will always will be.

I believe in the “dreamers” because I’ve been one for as long as I can remember. When I was much younger I  remember being told that it was okay to have dreams as long as I understood that they were just dreams, not reality. I used to believe that a dreamer was just a person who went through life with their head in the clouds, but that’s not true.

We dreamers have our feet planted firmly on the ground, yet we have enough faith in ourselves to believe that we can turn our dreams into reality; we have an intense passion for our dreams; and we believe in our dreams and in ourselves.

I believe in my nephew, Gavin, I believe in me, and I believe in all of you.

Thank you, Gavin, for letting your aunt know that she made a difference in your life.

After all, that’s what us “dreamers” are all about…

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

gavin dreamer

Advertisements

“Living Your Best Life With Anne Dennish/Radio Show 1

I’m so happy to be part of the Hamilton Radio family as I go live with my first radio show! My topic today is “Life Is A Mindset And Everything Begins With You.”

Join in the launch of my radio show and enjoy!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Forget About New Year’s Resolutions”

I write about this subject in one form or another every year, and this year is no exception.

As the New Year quickly approaches people start talking about their “resolutions.” There’s things they want to do and things they want to change in their life so they make a list of “resolutions.”

I threw that concept out years ago because to me, resolutions were nothing more than making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep. They were goals for sure, but seriously, how many of us actually stick to those resolutions? I always tried, failed at some, then beat myself up for not doing what I had wanted.

So, years ago I realized that the only way for my life to change was by learning the lessons that life had handed me, by learning from my mistakes, learning from my experiences, and so I decided to have my “New Year’s Revelations!”

I ask myself some important questions throughout the month of December: What opened my eyes this past year? What did I learn about myself? What type of people are in my tribe? Am I taking care of myself and loving myself enough or giving too much of myself away? And what do I need to let go of that has no place in the New Year coming up and in my life?

These are the questions to ask yourself and answer honestly. You see, when you have those “revelations” about yourself and the year that’s about to come to an end, you take those lessons and truths with you. You begin the New Year with a better understanding of yourself, your life, your situations and the people in it. And when you do that, the New Year will bring all that you want it to: love, happiness, joy, adventure, new beginnings, new opportunities; the possibilities are endless.

Don’t put added stress on yourself by making “resolutions.”

Take the time to think about your “revelations” and begin the New Year in a positive light. All things are possible if you just believe in yourself!

Remember: “Everything begins with YOU!”

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

revelations

“It’s Them, Not You”

unkind people 2

There’s this one life lesson that I’m obviously not learning as well as I should and it cropped up again on me last night without warning. And after it happened, I was more angry at myself for allowing it to have happened again.

And what is that? I allowed someone to take out their insecurities, jealousies, or bad day on me by bringing up painful past situations and mistakes that I’ve made peace with, moved on from, and learned from. And throughout the conversation I began defending myself…and I should and do know better than to do that.

Truth be told, by the time I got off the phone I was drained. They had said so many hurtful things to me that I went to bed in tears, feeling like a failure.

This morning I woke up with a headache, a bruised heart, and a sadness in my soul, but I’m working on that today. I know I’m not a failure because I’m living my life purpose and pursuing my passion and dreams. I know I’m not a failure because I keep moving forward with a positive attitude no matter what life or another person hands me. And I know I’m not a failure because I would never do anything hurtful to another even though they did that to me.

I understand that people have bad days, trust me, I do as well, but I would never take it out on another person. And as I’ve taught my children, when people are unkind, mean or hurtful to you, it’s not really because of YOU; they are simply taking their fears, their insecurities, their jealousies or bad days out on you. They’re afraid to face their own truth and their own life so they inflict emotional and verbal pain on you. It’s not okay for anyone to do that to another human being. We can all understand why they do it but we do NOT have to allow them to do it.

Are you wondering why I allowed it yet again? Me too, but the truth is, it was someone in my family and I didn’t see the conversation going in that direction until it did…and I just couldn’t seem to shut it down. I told my best friend about it this morning and she said to me: “this is your problem; use your voice, shut them down and talk to them the same way they’re talking to you.” My response: “I won’t lower myself to that level and I will not be unkind to someone even if they’re being unkind to me.”

And I think that’s a lesson for all of us. What we allow will continue and sometimes the people that are unkind to us are the closest to us, yet I believe this to be true: even if it’s family, it’s no reason to allow that behavior. Sometimes, especially with family, we have to wish them love and light and put some distance between us. It’s difficult to do at times, but absolutely necessary.

Distance between family members doesn’t mean you don’t love them, it means you love yourself just as much.

So today I’m healing my heart, finding some joy in my soul and forgiving them for doing it and forgiving myself for allowing it.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“What” Is Not As Important As “Why”

what 2

“What’s” happened to you in your life isn’t as important as “why” it happened. ~AD~

We all experience some difficult situations in our life and I’ve come to accept and understand that the “what” that’s happened to me isn’t as important as  the“why” that it did.

We’re so quick to blame others for our difficult times, yet we have a hand in those situations as well. Perhaps we aren’t being our authentic self or standing in our truth to those around us. Maybe we change “who” we are according to the people we are around at a particular moment. I can tell you that I’ve learned that I am in control of what I allow to happen to me and it’s up to me to set healthy boundaries for my highest good…and it’s not always easy to do.

I had breast cancer and it can’t always be prevented, yet I could have had a mammogram sooner than I had; I went 5 years without one and only had one done when I found my tumor. So while this “what” may have been destined to happen to me, the “why” it happened when it did was because I wasn’t loving myself enough to get that mammogram every year like I should have. I know better now.

I’ve lived through divorce and a bad relationship. The “what” that caused an ending to these relationships isn’t as important as the “why” it happened. It happened because I was allowing those people to treat me in a way I didn’t deserve. What you allow will continue and it did for me until I realized I deserved better and decided to stop it.

And I’ve lived through emotional, verbal and physical abuse. It went on for years until I finally put an end to it. “What” was said and done to me isn’t as important as “why” it was done to me. It happened because I let it happen. I wasn’t as strong as I am now, my self-esteem was non-existent, and I blamed myself for causing all those things that were said and done to me then. I was at the bottom and when I finally decided that enough was enough, I pulled myself up off the floor and began to see clearly of the “why” it happened. I began to get stronger day by day and set up boundaries that were never again to be crossed by anyone, and if they were, I certainly recognized it sooner. It happened because I let it, not because I deserved it. It was yet another life lesson for me to learn.

You have to love yourself, respect yourself, and know that you don’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone, especially by yourself. Let’s face it, we’re all masters of self-sabotage at times…we can hurt ourselves better than the person who is hurting us. Yet that’s not the way it should be; you know that as well as I do.

It’s time we all, myself included, stop focusing on the “what” that happened to us and start looking deep within ourselves to see our truth of the“why” it happened.

It’s then that we learn and grow and move forward into the life we want and deserve.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Feel, Deal and Heal”

I’ve gone through my share of, what most may say, are traumatic experiences: divorce, cancer, and abuse, to name a few. When I share these experiences publicly many people ask me how I’m still standing, how in the world did I become so positive after so many negative things happened to me.

My answer is always the same: Because I chose to get through and I’m standing even stronger.

And how is that possible?

Because I knew I had to feel all the emotions that came with those “traumas” and deal with them; and that’s how I was able to heal.

No one wants to feel hurt, sadness or brokenness, yet we all do at some point in our life. Many people block those emotions; they tuck them away and believe that they moved on from them. I can tell you that they didn’t. Ignoring what you have to face is lying to yourself and eventually all those emotions you didn’t deal with will catch up with you at some point in your life. They always do.

And when they do catch up with you those around you pay the price for it as well.

Don’t you want to feel happy? Don’t you want to find joy in your life? Don’t you want to let go of an experience that caused you pain?

Sure you do…we all do.

So do it. Take a long look in the mirror at yourself and let your truth come through. Take that experience and all the pain that came with it and deal with it. Feel the pain, the heartache and let the healing waters of your tears flow to release it all. Then forgive the experience so you no longer hold onto it and then forgive yourself for allowing it to hold you back from the happiness you want and deserve.

You can run from those traumatic experiences but trust me, you can’t hide from them until you deal with them.

Feel, deal and heal, my friends.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~

feel the emotions 2

“How A Heart Breaks”

breaking a heart

We’ve all had our hearts broken a time or two in this lifetime and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: it doesn’t suddenly break. It’s takes time to break it.

And do you know why a heart breaks?

It’s because someone has been chipping away at it over and over again.

And when most of the heart has been chipped away there’s not much left to hold it together and one day it breaks altogether.

And it can and will never be repaired to the heart it once was. Only the broken hearted can heal their heart and in time, their heart will heal and be stronger than the heart that had been broken.

There’s all type of abuse out there but nothing will chip away at a heart more than verbal and emotional abuse. Those are the worst and I know it for fact because I’ve been the person on the other side of it more times than I can count. It’s a difficult and long process to heal, but it is possible, because I’ve done it, and I’ve done it more than once.

I’m going to be honest about this subject because I can speak from personal experience.

Words and actions hurt. They chip away at a heart that loves someone so much that they allow it to happen, at least until the day they’ve had enough. And the day that happens is long after the heart has been chipped away at until it breaks; that day is when that person gets strong and rebuilds their damaged heart.

And that is the day they’ve had enough.

It’s the day they’ve seen the truth of the person who treats them that way.

And it’s the day that they realize their value and we all have value. No one deserves to be treated badly, even the ones who treat others badly.

Love doesn’t hurt the heart; harsh words and behaviors do.

Words last forever.

The pain the words caused will never be forgotten.

And a once whole, happy, loving person will break apart.

Until they pick themselves up and put themselves back together.

There are some who don’t realize just how hurtful their words and actions can be to someone they love, especially when that person still sees good in them and still loves them. But the day will come after countless conversations between the two people of how badly they’ve been hurt and how much damage it causes to their heart…and to their soul.

It’s the day the heart has been chipped away at over and over again that it breaks.

The good news is that a heart that breaks is proof that it works. It’s proof that you have a heart that loves with abandon, loves another with all that they are, and loves unconditionally. The bad news is that that kind of heart will break when the person they love doesn’t have the same kind of heart.

They have a heart that controls, a heart that can only love so much, and a heart that doesn’t know how to love unconditionally.

Hearts that have been chipped at over time will eventually break, but they also will be given the chance to heal into a stronger heart, a smarter heart, and a heart that knows what they deserve and what they don’t. And it will learn to never settle for less than what they deserve.

Choose your words carefully. Keep your bad day to yourself. Leave work at the office. Don’t take your frustrations out on another. And cherish the ones that love you unconditionally with a beautiful heart. Once you chip away at their heart enough you’ll break it, and while everything is forgivable, it’s very rarely repairable.

Remember that.

And ask yourself these very important questions: How would you feel if the person you love treated you the way you treat them? How would you feel if they chipped away at your heart? How would you feel if they were telling you that you were always wrong and that they were always right?

You are in control of your actions towards someone you love.

Choose your words carefully because once you’ve said them you can’t take them back.

It’s never too late to change.

And positive change is a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“Be Your Authentic Self”

The only way you’re really going to know who should and shouldn’t be in your life is by standing in your truth.

Be who you really are, not the person that you think someone wants you to be.

Know that you don’t have to agree with the opinions of others just because you want to fit in.

Understand that you are not everyone’s “cup of tea,” and some people aren’t yours either.

And never assume that someone knows what you’re thinking or feeling.

And that’s what “standing in your truth” is all about.

It’s being your complete, authentic self to the people you meet, because when you hide who you truly are then you run the risk of attracting the wrong people into your life. They may like you for who you pretend to be, but is that what you want? I don’t. For me, what you see and what you hear is what you get. I don’t change to fit the person…I change the people I surround myself with to fit me.

That’s how we surround ourselves with “like-minded” people: people who are positive, who have our back, who lift us up instead of bringing us down. People who understand our differences and accept us for who we are anyway. People who acknowledge your successes and keep you motivated through your failures. People who love you for who you are, not for who they want you to be.

You have to be who you are in order to have the right people in your life…in your bubble.

Don’t silence your voice to make someone else happy, or to prevent a disagreement, or to keep things calm.

The right people will embrace your voice and your truth.

The right people will love you for who you are.

The right people won’t try to change you.

And the right people will never try to silence your voice…

Because your voice is your truth.

Be you, my friends, be you.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

authentic self 1

 

“You’re More Than You Believe You Are”

You go through life as a wife, a mother, a husband, lover, and the title of the career you have, yet sometimes we forget who we are. I’m not one to “label” myself or anyone else, but the truth of the matter is: we are who we are.

And we shouldn’t limit ourselves to being just one thing; we should embrace all that we are.

And we are so much more than we believe we are.

And a few days ago I was reminded of the person I love to be: a writer.

Life can get busy and as you know, I’ve spent much of the last month on vacation, on location, and spending time with my kids. I’ve done some writing but not as much as I would have liked.

I’m still in the throws of cleaning my flooded basement and getting some rest from endless weeks of traveling. Laundry is getting behind the eight ball and dishes are piling in the sink. The refrigerator needs to be refilled and doctors appointments need to made.

And then something important happened…

I had a lunch meeting with a client I’m ghostwriting for.

And I was reminded of something I love to be: a writer.

And it was an incredible feeling.

I felt reborn and back on track. I felt energized and ready to create and write.

Throughout our meeting of note taking, working, talking, and organizing, he said one thing to me that made all the difference in the world: “I leave this all up to you, after all, you’re the writer.”

Really? I am? I know I’m a mom, a significant other, a friend, daughter and sister, but a writer?

Well, sir, yes I am!

It’s not that I forget that I’m a writer but I forget how it FEELS to be a writer and that feeling is one of passion. I forgot how the passion feels, how incredible it feels, and how awesome it is to be doing what I love to do every single day of my life: WRITE!

I was exhausted after all the traveling and cleaning in the last few weeks, but today I felt rejuvenated. All that tired energy left my body and I felt as though a very high energy replaced it…and I’m so grateful that it did.

Sometimes we all need a reminder of that feeling of doing what we’re passionate about.

Sometimes we need to be reminded that we’re so much more than we believe we are.

I’m grateful for that meeting.

I’m grateful to be able to write every day.

And I’m grateful to remember what it feels like to be a WRITER!

Take a moment today to remember all that you are…because you are so much more than you believe you are!

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

much more

Photo courtesy of Rob Contreras

 

“You Are Beautiful…No Matter What They Say”

I’m always honest with all of you that follow me and I’m going to be honest now. You’ve all become “friends” to me with all your support and comments which I appreciate more than I can say.

I share my personal experiences with all of you in the hopes to make a difference to someone, yet there are moments in my life that it isn’t all sunshine and roses, as I’m sure yours isn’t at times.

So I’m going to get personal and honest with all of you: I’ve had a bad week. A really bad week.

I’ve gone through a few situations this week that hurt my heart so deeply that I’m having a difficult time getting past it…yet I know I will in time.

I have to process what’s happened, try to understand why, and figure out the lesson in it for me. Heartache happens to teach us something…and now it’s trying to teach me something.

I know what to do because I’m always telling all of you how to get through rough times…I’ve been down this road before and I know it’s a difficult journey, yet I know the process I have to go through to get to a better place.

I need to remind myself that anyone who hurts my heart did so because of their own issues. Some people hurt others because they’re feeling hurt themselves, or because they need to have that control, or because they’re simply abusive. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make it right.

And I let them do it.

And sometimes we just don’t know how to stop them from doing it, which is why I believe to my toes that if someone treats you that way you have to wish them love and light and let them go.

And it’s not easy.

So, yes, I’m feeling hurt this week and trying to figure out why it all happened and how to handle it.

 

And I have to remind myself that it’s not my fault, it’s theirs.

And you need to remember that as well and repeat this to yourself as often as you have to: “It’s not my fault.”

We don’t ask people to hurt us or be mean. We don’t ask people to abuse us verbally or physically. We don’t ask someone to treat us badly.

That’s their choice to do it and our choice to allow it or not.

What we can do is know our worth, know our value and not allow anyone to treat us badly.

We need to remind ourselves that we’re beautiful, lovable and important.

And they need to be reminded that “their words can bring us down.”

And they need to understand that hurtful words can be forgiven, but they will never be forgotten.

I’m as human as anyone else and wanted to share this piece of my life with you.

In the end, I’ll be fine.

It’s a process.

I guess you could say that “Anne Dennish” has another life lesson to learn!

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

beautiful