“On Being Lonely”

 It’s been such a sad week at hearing of the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. Depression, mental illness, and worse than that, a feeling of loneliness…it attacks even the most strongest of people at times, rich or poor, famous or not. We’re all vulnerable at feeling such times of sadness.

Robin Williams said it best years ago that the worse type of loneliness is being with people who make you feel that way. And he’s right that being alone isn’t the worst thing in the world, it’s being with people you love that make you feel alone.

So today I want to say this to all of you: If you’re blessed to have people in your life that love you, care for you, respect you, and are always there for you then know how lucky you are. It’s a gift to have people like that in your life.

Be sure to let them know you feel the same. Don’t let the ones you love feel lonely. Give back to them all the gifts they give to you.

Think about it.

Stop what you’re doing right now and grab the hand of someone who loves you that may or may not be going through a sad day; wrap your arms around them in a loving hug; sit with them, share your thoughts with them, share yourself with them.

Be there.

Don’t wait for the day they’re not there anymore for you.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

robin williams

“One Chair”

Years ago whenever my grandmother saw a two seater car she’d say: “That’s a selfish car. There’s only enough room for two people.” It was a funny thing to hear her say, yet as I’ve grown older I understand even more of what she was saying.

I’m that way with chairs.

My front porch has a table and two chairs on one side of the door and on the other side is two chairs with a table between them. I’m usually in one of those chairs and look forward to the people I love sitting with me in the other chair.

There’s not always someone sitting with me but there’s an empty chair just always waiting for someone who needs to use it.

When I see someone put only one chair out for themselves it tells me a couple of things. It tells me that they want to be alone, it tells me that they don’t want me sitting with them, it tells me that they never had a thought to how I was feeling and that I may need someone to give me a chair.

Sometimes we all need a chair. We need that second chair to know we’re not alone. We need that second chair so that we don’t feel lonely. We need that second chair to let us know that someone is just waiting for us to sit in it.

The second chair means that someone wants us.

The second chair means that someone loves us.

The second chair means that we matter.

And to me, when I see only one chair I see a person who is selfish, who doesn’t care about anyone other than themselves and a person who takes the people in his life for granted.

You can spend your life with only one chair.

But remember what that chair represents to those that love you.

And be mindful and aware that a day may come in which there won’t be that person to fill a second chair;  you will be there alone with one chair.

I love having two chairs on my front porch.

It’s my small way of letting the people I love know that they’re always welcome to be with me, that I love them, and that I want to spend time with them.

Chairs.

How many do you have?

I hope you have more than one.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

two chairs

“The Loneliness of Cancer”

The most difficult part of writing and putting together my new book, “Waking Up,” was reading my breast cancer journal. As a survivor, we try and move forward, yet as I read each entry I remembered…and it was ironic how much I had forgotten. I had forgotten all those feelings and emotions; forgotten the details of every treatment and procedure; and I had forgotten that I even had it at all.

“I will say one thing about cancer, and I do know that every day you live with it, your thoughts can change. For today, I know it can be a very lonely place. Seems the people closest to you don’t know quite how to deal with it, so they get angry or they stay away from you. What they don’t understand is that by walking away, or treating you differently, is hurtful.”

“Their reaction to my cancer changes me because their anger and avoidance put me in the category of “the girl with the cancer.” I’m just “the girl who cancer has paid a visit to” and if all goes well, it will be a short visit.”

We don’t always know the right thing to say or do to someone with cancer, and even as a survivor, I don’t really know either. Yet I will say that the best you can do is be there for someone on the cancer journey; support and love them. The most important thing to do is to treat them as the same person you loved before the cancer, because cancer is not “who” they are, cancer is simply “what” they have.

~Anne Dennish~

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