“Forget About New Year’s Resolutions”

I write about this subject in one form or another every year, and this year is no exception.

As the New Year quickly approaches people start talking about their “resolutions.” There’s things they want to do and things they want to change in their life so they make a list of “resolutions.”

I threw that concept out years ago because to me, resolutions were nothing more than making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep. They were goals for sure, but seriously, how many of us actually stick to those resolutions? I always tried, failed at some, then beat myself up for not doing what I had wanted.

So, years ago I realized that the only way for my life to change was by learning the lessons that life had handed me, by learning from my mistakes, learning from my experiences, and so I decided to have my “New Year’s Revelations!”

I ask myself some important questions throughout the month of December: What opened my eyes this past year? What did I learn about myself? What type of people are in my tribe? Am I taking care of myself and loving myself enough or giving too much of myself away? And what do I need to let go of that has no place in the New Year coming up and in my life?

These are the questions to ask yourself and answer honestly. You see, when you have those “revelations” about yourself and the year that’s about to come to an end, you take those lessons and truths with you. You begin the New Year with a better understanding of yourself, your life, your situations and the people in it. And when you do that, the New Year will bring all that you want it to: love, happiness, joy, adventure, new beginnings, new opportunities; the possibilities are endless.

Don’t put added stress on yourself by making “resolutions.”

Take the time to think about your “revelations” and begin the New Year in a positive light. All things are possible if you just believe in yourself!

Remember: “Everything begins with YOU!”

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

revelations

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“Listen To How They Treat You”

the way a person treats you

“There’s a message in the way a person treats you…just listen.”

It’s the saying I absolutely believe in: “actions speak louder than words.”

All those loving, positive words you speak to someone are only truthful when the actions back them up.

All those negative, hurtful words you speak to someone are truth. It’s how someone honestly feels about you because when you truly love someone you wouldn’t say things you know that would hurt them. And trust me, those words will stay with them for a lifetime.

If you really love someone, be it your significant other, friend, family or child, why would you say something hurtful to them? You can’t take those words back and if you said them you must have meant them. And if you didn’t mean them then why did you say them? Just to hurt them because you can? To push them away? Or maybe you use those words to put them in their place as a way to control them.

Think about why you say things to hurt someone you love. No human being has the right to hurt another, especially someone who loves you. It could be that you don’t really love them, that you don’t understand love, or that love is nothing more than a matter of convenience to you. And know this: each time you say hurtful words to someone you love you bruise their heart and that heart begins to shut down little by little.

We’re all human and none of us are perfect. We get annoyed sometimes, we get angry, we get cranky…that’s okay, we all have moments like that, but it’s NOT okay to hurt someone you love. It’s NOT okay to make them feel like your bad mood is their fault because it’s not, it’s yours. And it’s NOT okay to think you have the right to say hurtful words to someone because you want to.

We have choices in all areas of our life, especially in our relationships. You have a choice of which words you use, you have a choice in the tone of your voice when you say them, and you have a choice to talk things through calmly with the one you love instead of being mean and hurtful.

And you have a choice to walk away.

You have a bad day? Work getting to you? Are you unhappy? Did someone make you angry or hurt your feelings?

We all rough days now and then, but understand that it’s not fair or right to take YOUR rough day out on another.

Think about what you’re feeling and why…

Don’t take it out on someone who loves you…

Don’t bruise the heart of someone who truly loves you..

And remember that their feelings are just as important as yours…

Be kind or be quiet.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“What” Is Not As Important As “Why”

what 2

“What’s” happened to you in your life isn’t as important as “why” it happened. ~AD~

We all experience some difficult situations in our life and I’ve come to accept and understand that the “what” that’s happened to me isn’t as important as  the“why” that it did.

We’re so quick to blame others for our difficult times, yet we have a hand in those situations as well. Perhaps we aren’t being our authentic self or standing in our truth to those around us. Maybe we change “who” we are according to the people we are around at a particular moment. I can tell you that I’ve learned that I am in control of what I allow to happen to me and it’s up to me to set healthy boundaries for my highest good…and it’s not always easy to do.

I had breast cancer and it can’t always be prevented, yet I could have had a mammogram sooner than I had; I went 5 years without one and only had one done when I found my tumor. So while this “what” may have been destined to happen to me, the “why” it happened when it did was because I wasn’t loving myself enough to get that mammogram every year like I should have. I know better now.

I’ve lived through divorce and a bad relationship. The “what” that caused an ending to these relationships isn’t as important as the “why” it happened. It happened because I was allowing those people to treat me in a way I didn’t deserve. What you allow will continue and it did for me until I realized I deserved better and decided to stop it.

And I’ve lived through emotional, verbal and physical abuse. It went on for years until I finally put an end to it. “What” was said and done to me isn’t as important as “why” it was done to me. It happened because I let it happen. I wasn’t as strong as I am now, my self-esteem was non-existent, and I blamed myself for causing all those things that were said and done to me then. I was at the bottom and when I finally decided that enough was enough, I pulled myself up off the floor and began to see clearly of the “why” it happened. I began to get stronger day by day and set up boundaries that were never again to be crossed by anyone, and if they were, I certainly recognized it sooner. It happened because I let it, not because I deserved it. It was yet another life lesson for me to learn.

You have to love yourself, respect yourself, and know that you don’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone, especially by yourself. Let’s face it, we’re all masters of self-sabotage at times…we can hurt ourselves better than the person who is hurting us. Yet that’s not the way it should be; you know that as well as I do.

It’s time we all, myself included, stop focusing on the “what” that happened to us and start looking deep within ourselves to see our truth of the“why” it happened.

It’s then that we learn and grow and move forward into the life we want and deserve.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“One Day It Just Clicks”

“It takes but one moment in your life that you find yourself waking up.” ~Anne Dennish~

And that’s the day that it all just clicks…you see things differently, change your perspective and begin to move forward.

Life is a series of many “waking up moments” and “just clicks days.” It’s part of the journey and those moments are filled with valuable lessons for us to live the best life we can.

Some of those moments are wonderful and some not so wonderful, but they are important moments to have because it pushes us to change for the better, to grow as a person, and to open our eyes to the truths that lie in front of us.

I’ve had quite a few “waking up” moments in the last few weeks and while they weren’t all that pleasant, I learned some valuable lessons from them. I also was reminded of the lessons I have learned in the past that I had forgotten in the present.

Life is a series of “waking up moments” and “just clicks days,” both good and bad, yet how we handle them, how we see them, and how we react to them determines how we get through them.

Love yourself enough to value those moments and embrace the lessons that they give to you.

After all…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

clicks

“Finding The Beauty”

It’s so very important to pay attention to what surrounds us in our day to day life. There is so much beauty on this journey that we sometimes get caught up in the day to day routines, whether it be a job, or taking care of the kids, or housework and bills. Yet it’s because of all those things that it’s so important to take some time throughout the day to look around and look up.

 

I find beauty not just within my house, but outside as well. In fact, spending time outside is what slows me down and helps me to find my balance.

When I’m outside I look around at the flowers that are blooming all around me and our beautiful vegetable garden. During the early hours of the night I sit outside in awe at the show of incredible lights flooding our backyard with fireflies.

I look up to the sky during the day to see a beautiful blue sky or one filled with puffy clouds. I see the sunrise and the sunset. I look up to my incredible “magic tree” that provides me with shade during the day.

You see, life is filled with beauty and it’s up to you and to me to take the time to see it.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

beauty

“Free Will”

I have a close circle of friends and there are moments I have to sit and wonder why they make the choices that they do. I know to my toes that it may not be their best choice, but they make it anyway.

And in all fairness, I bet they think the same thing about my choices.

We love who we love and we love the people in our tribe, yet there are moments that they’re handed a situation in which they have to make a choice…and sometimes those that love them sitting on the outside of it wonder why they chose the path that they did.

We may know that they’re making the wrong decision, but it’s at those moments that we need to step back and let them move forward with their choices, wrong or right.

And why?

Because it’s their “free will,” not ours.
And if we don’t let them lead their own life, make their own choices, and do what they think is right, then they’ll never learn a lesson that their life is about to hand them.

And that’s “free will.”

It’s allowing those we love the freedom to make their own choices, even if our intuition tells us that it’s wrong.

We learn life lessons by making mistakes and learning from them.

And if someone takes our free will away from us, then they’ve stolen a valuable moment in our life; they’ve taken away our right to make a choice, bad or not, and learn from it.

We may not always understand why the ones we love make the choices that they do, but a big part of loving them is respecting them enough to allow them their free will to do so.

We all want to protect those that are important to us, but if we don’t allow them to make their own choices and in some cases, mistakes, then we took away their right to learn and grow as a person.

The best thing we can do is be there for them if they should make a wrong choice and celebrate with them when they make the right choice.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

right or wrong

“Finding Strength In The Struggle”

 I’d like to say that the week has gotten better but sometimes life throws you another challenge and it’s done that to me. This is a difficult journey for me, yet day by day I’m finding my strength and keeping my thoughts as positive as I can.

 

I believe that everything, even some of the worst situations, happens for a reason. There are moments that the Universe hands us a difficult situation to stop us in our tracks, to make us pay attention. It’s during those moments that we have to stop and see the truth of how we’re living our life. We have to look deep at our relationships, careers, and even our lifestyle.

It’s the ultimate moment of truth…and it’s your truth, not anyone else’s.

This journey is challenging, and I believe in the end it will be life changing for me. It already is.

Today is a new day and I embrace all that it has to offer.

And I’m sure that the biggest gift it will offer me today is “truth.”

And I’m okay with that.

After all, it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

challenge

“Show Me Your Soul”

The older I get, the better choices I make in who I allow into my tribe.

It’s true…so many people wear a mask and none of us ever know who someone really is until a situation occurs in which they show their true colors.

I want to surround myself with people who aren’t afraid to be who they are. I don’t want to spend my precious time with people who wear a mask just to be someone they’re not; with people who tell me what I want to hear instead of telling me the truth; with people who place more value on the attention they receive rather than the attention they give to others.

I want to surround myself with people who are true blue, who let the person they are shine through; with people who aren’t afraid to show me their flaws; with people who speak their truth to themselves and to others.

I want to see the heart and soul of another.

I want to see who they are.

I want to see their truth.

It’s only when we can see the heart and soul of another that we can see the truth of who someone truly is.

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

see a soul

 

 

“Kindness Counts”

I’d be lying to you if I said the recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain didn’t still upset me, because they do. Even more so than those two suicides are countless social media posts about the number of people who take their own lives, of the importance of understanding mental illness, and the faces of those who suffer and have suffered from these illnesses.

Kate and Anthony were public figures, yet to see just how many people actually do take their own lives is unbelievable. There are no pictures for the world to see on social media of these people; they were living their life just as we all do.

Yet there’s so much more to each and every story of suicide.

And I, for one, can’t even begin to know how to understand them all, except to say that they’re all tragic, sad, and heartbreaking.

What I can do is keep writing words of encouragement and inspiration to all of you; I can keep writing stories to share with you in the hopes that it may touch the heart of someone who needed to read it; and I can keep doing something every day of my life to make a difference in the world and in the life of another.

Let’s do this together.

Let’s start today.

One act of kindness can change the day or even the life of another human being. We don’t always know what someone else is going through, so be kind to each other with both your words and your actions.

Kindness counts.

We all count.

Remember that.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

be kind ellen

“Be That Person”

We’ve all gone through tough times in our lives.

Some people let those difficult situations make them a better person; they learn the lessons, heal themselves, and get back up on their feet even stronger.

Then there are those people that let those difficult situations make them a bitter person; they can’t see that there was a lesson to learn through the experience, they don’t or won’t heal from it, and they’d rather stay down than pick themselves up.

The better person learns to forgive and let it go; they continue moving forward, no matter what life hands them. They use their experiences to help others and love the world.

The bitter person holds onto the anger and refuses to forgive; they stay stuck in the negative emotions of the experience and can’t see all the endless possibilities that are outside of that time. They’re unable to love the world because their bitterness prevents them from loving themselves.

Which person are you?

Be that person that learns from the tough times and embraces the lessons learned from it; be that person who continues to love the world even if the world isn’t loving you back the way you want; be that person who keeps moving forward and uses the difficult times and the triumph of overcoming them to share with others.

Be that person.

I know that you can.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

be that person