It’s not always easy to say “no” to someone you love or to call out behavior that hurts, but discernment isn’t judgement. It’s wisdom shaped by experience, boundaries and care for one’s own peace.
If someone hides things from you, excludes you or treats you like an afterthought, that’s NOT YOUR FAULT for noticing it. It’s their fault for denying transparency.
You’re not walking away because you want to hurt them. You’re stepping back because you deserve honesty and that’s not selfish. That is self-respect.
Today is a day of sadness for some and happiness for others, yet we need to remember that no matter what, we’re all in this together. We don’t have to agree on everything but we have to respect our differences. The world would be a boring place if we all believed in the same things but the world isn’t boring. It’s exciting, it’s filled with promise and opportunity and made up of people that have a choice to make a positive impact in this world.
We don’t have to agree on politics but we can agree to do our part in making this world a better place.
I’ve seen so many people telling others that unless you agree with their beliefs and follow along with what they want then you’re not their friend and that you don’t love them. How can anyone say that?
I don’t agree with everything that my friends and family say and do but I would NEVER tell them that they had to agree with me or else I wouldn’t want them in my life. That, to me, is judgment and control. Why would you tell someone what they should feel and what they need to believe in?
The bottom line is this: we all live in this world and it’s up to us to work together to make a difference in it. Politics are politics. They don’t control how we, as human beings, act towards one another. Politics don’t make us unkind or unloving toward one another and politics don’t make us hate one another.
We do that all on our own and WE ALL HAVE THE CHOICE to NOT let politics split us apart.
I understand that today may be a difficult day for some but at least we have the day. We’re here. We’re alive and we can continue to move forward in this world in the best way humanly possible.
Please, be grateful that you woke up today.
Spread love and kindness, not hatred.
And remember this: spreading love and kindness is 100% in your control, NO VOTE NECESSARY!
“Never let anyone steal your brave because of their fears and insecurities, never let anyone steal your pretty because they have an ugly personality, and never let anyone steal your sparkle because they don’t know how to shine.” ~Anne Dennish~
Sometimes all we need is a memory to pop up to remind us of a life lesson. This was mine from many years ago.
A good friend of mine had stopped by my house many years ago. We hadn’t seen each other in months, and it was a much-needed break for me that day. We had a nice visit, but it was something that she said as we said “goodbye”, that stuck with me for many hours that day. She said: “What happened to you? You lost your pretty, your sparkle and your brave! Go get that stuff back!”
Wow, point taken, and she was right. I had lost my pretty, forgotten about my brave, and had most definitely lost my sparkle. My task on that day was to figure out what happened to it all and the next was to go and get it back. It wasn’t the thing that I had wanted to do that day, but after all, if I’m going to share my experiences with all of you and tell you how I got through them then I had to practice what I preach or at least practice what I write about!
So, what happened to my pretty, my brave and my sparkle?
A lot of things happened.
Yet it isn’t so much about “what” those things were but “why” those things happened. And as always, I believe that what we allow will continue and that we have to set up healthy boundaries in our life and not allow them to be crossed.
It’s easier said than done.
So, on that day I had to look in the mirror and be truthful with myself. And yes, the truth, even our own truth, can hurt.
And it did.
I had work to do that day and I was more than ready to do it. I knew then why and how I lost my pretty, my brave and my sparkle.
I lost it because I lost sight of its importance to me and that those three things are a part of me. I forgot to love myself the way I want to be loved, and I lost sight of myself as well.
You see, I’m as human as you and even I have to be handed another experience in life to remind me of a life lesson that I had forgotten and needed to remember.
Only I am in charge of changing myself; only I am in charge of my feelings and emotions; and only I am in charge of my actions and reactions.
After all, don’t I always say that “everything in YOUR life begins with YOU?”
On that day many years ago, I remembered that “everything in MY life begins with ME.”
News sure travels fast when a person wants to spread it.
It’s similar to the movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” in which each life touches another in a positive way except this type of gossip is in reverse and with a much different outcome. Each story and negative opinion that they share with other people touches another in a hurtful way once it’s been found out.
I call it “The Domino Effect” of gossip. We’re all dominoes strategically positioned in such a way that the person that pushes the first one does so knowing how to take down the rest.
The difference is that we’re not dominoes, we’re human beings that trusted a person who broke that trust by sharing our intimate conversations and their opinions with other people. Most often, we don’t even know that they’re doing it until we hear about it.
Do we tell the people that are the topic of the gossip, knowing that it will hurt their feelings? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but then again, isn’t that how we can protect them from gossip?
What do we dominoes do without lowering ourselves to their level?
All I can say is to distance yourself from them and if you haven’t already stopped all communication, you probably should be extremely careful in what you say to them.
Everyone is a loser here, and the biggest loser is the person spreading it all. After all, nothing good comes from idle gossip.
I say that we “dominoes” should leave it alone because I truly believe that what we put out into this world will inevitably come back to us. It’s only a matter of time before the hand pushing the dominoes is seen for who they are.
Don’t be one of the pieces in “The Domino Effect” of gossip.
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 