Jersey Shore

“About Those Mean People”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

“People who speak nasty and negatively to you only do so because they see in you what they can’t see in themselves and their need for what you have and wanting it is what makes them that way.” ~Anne Dennish~

I’m a cheerful and positive person who tries to share these emotions with those that I malibu nancimeet or speak with. I try to leave someone with a smile, a laugh, or a different perspective that may lighten their load in life.

That’s not to say I don’t have a bad day now and again; a day of frustration over my work, or the house that I just cleaned looking like I never touched it. Yet I will say this, I NEVER share that temporary bad day with someone else. No matter my mood, I will never ever speak nasty, hurtful or be just plain mean to anyone else.

Yet my cheery disposition to simply share happiness with someone else by checking in with a phone call can get shattered in a minute. And it happened to me tonight. Not once, but three times in a short amount of time, and by the people who I should consider the closest to me, yet choose to be the most distant.

My love tells me I’m too “sensitive,” yet he’ll never change that about me. It’s not that I’m too sensitive, it’s that I’m sensitive to negative and toxic people. Yes, they can make me cry and feel badly, but it’s not because they “got to me.” It’s because it hurts to know that people that close to me have that meanness in them. They know how to hurt me, and willingly do it when it serves them…and they do it because I let them. I allowed them to be mean and hurtful, and after they do that I’m more mad at myself for not speaking up and for letting them hurt me. These women know that I’ll never speak up to them, so they feel that they have free reign to speak to me the way they do. There’s no rhyme or reason why they do, it’s simply that they’re having a bad day and needed someone to take it out on…and that would be me.

I know, I write about not letting someone hurt you and that if they do, you allowed it. Yet I will tell you that it still happens. It doesn’t happen to the extreme it once did, yet it happens, but now I feel the punch in the emotional gut, shed a tear or two, let it go and move on.

It’s a sad thing when it’s  women who should be close to you, yet I’ve learned that “blood related” or not, I won’t allow those toxic people too close to me. It’s hard when it’s your family, yet I’ve learned, and learned painfully, to let them go. And tonight is no exception.

I’m not a doormat anymore, yet every so often they hand me a zinger that hurts, and it’s then that I have to remember to love myself, respect myself and move on, even if they can’t do that. There’s no respect towards you when someone can speak to you that way. It’s their problem, their bad day, their pity party, not yours.

So, tonight I slowly sip a glass of wine and wait for the full moon…and wait for this “punch in the stomach” feeling to lessen and fade away. Tonight I shed some tears at the reactions of  women who I simply called to “catch up with and say hello.” Tonight, like so many others with them, I let it go and remember that while I love them, I don’t need to “be” with them or allow them too deep into my world…a world I have created of love, happiness, joy and hope.

To these women: I love you with all my heart and my sadness comes from knowing that you can’t love yourselves and that you find the need to be so hurtful to someone who loves you so much simply because of your problems and your bad day.

And that’s the key: it’s “their” issues, “their” problems, not mine. The only thing that’s “mine” is my feelings over their hurtful behavior, and as I write this, I’ve dried the tears, took a breath, forgave them, and let it go…let “them” go yet again.

Life is short, my friends, and I feel sorry for those that speak such hurtful words to another, never realizing that those may be the last words someone hears.

“Guilt is the emotion one feels at knowing they didn’t do the right thing and refused to do the right thing to fix it.”

 I try to live each day happy, making a difference in someone else’s life, and that includes my family and my children, yet I know that that’s up to “me;” how someone else behaves is “up to them.”

I stay strong for my children and myself, and while my strength may take a hit now and again, it will always find its’ way back to the surface.

“My strength is their weakness; my weakness their strength.”

Never let the “mean people” see you sweat; never let them see you weak; never let them see you cry and know that they hurt you.

Let them see you strong, happy, and filled with the positive light that you were gifted.

Because in the end, that will be more hurtful to them than they are to you.

Wishing you love, light and strength,

~Anne Dennish~

hurtful

“Soup Season”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

I love to cook, at least most days I do. There’s something therapeutic for me about the whole process of preparing, chopping, dicing, seasoning and cooking. The end result comes from serving it to those you love and seeing the expression on their face. Food fills the body and warms the soul.

There’s summer cooking, filled with grilling and summer salads, yet my absolute favorite cooking is when the leaves begin to change colors and the air turns cool. It’s “fall cooking” and I love that first day of turning on the oven and heating up the house with the comfort foods of fall.

It’s also that time of year that I call “soup season.” There’s nothing better than cooking a pot of soup served with warm bread. I love making soup, and I believe that love comes from my grandmother. I can remember many days at her house watching her put her big

potato-corn-leek-chowder

Potato Leek Corn Chowder

cauldron on the stove and fill the counter with every vegetable under the sun! I loved those days of helping her make soup and I’m confident that she taught me everything I know about the process. I’ve been nicknamed the “soup-meister” of my family because no one else makes it like I do, which is just how my grandmother made it.

It took her hours to make soup, and when it was done she’d fill up a million containers of it to give to all of our families. No one was ever left hungry when my grandmother made soup! She made many different types, yet when someone was sick, she went to task of making her “beef barley vegetable” soup, which she said was “good for what ails you!” I’m happy to say that it took me years to get my recipe to taste like hers, and while it’s not exactly the same, it’s close enough.

I once asked her what the key ingredient was in her soup, to which she told me: “It’s the love. Always put love into whatever you make.” And I’ve remembered that ever since.

When my kids were little and I baked cookies they’d tell me how good they were and that they could taste all the love in them. To this day, they still say that.

And now my love says that too; with every cup of tea or bowl of soup he tells me he can taste the love, and isn’t that what cooking is about? It’s filling the bellies of your loved ones with good food, and warming their hearts with how much you love them.

It’s definitely “soup season” at the Jersey shore, especially at my house, where everyone is coming down with colds. My love wants my “chicken and rice” soup, and my daughter’s request is for my  “potato leek corn chowder.”As far as my two vegan boys, they want good ‘ol “vegetable soup.” So many soups, yet I always find the time.

I will always find the time to take care of the ones’ I love, and any request for my soups is welcome. Today I’ll be in the kitchen with my own cauldron, just like my grandmothers’, firmly planted on the stove for the day. And in between stirring and simmering, I’ll be writing and making their “sick beds” more comfortable for them.  By tonight they will have all “tasted” the love when they ate, and will be “feeling” the love as they lay their head down on clean sheets, warm blankets and fluffed up pillows.

And I’ll end the night with a warm cup of green tea and honey for everyone…including me!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

beef-barley-vegetable-soup

Beef Barley Vegetable Soup with fresh baked French bread…as my grandmother said, “it’s good for what ails you!”

 

 

“Drawing A Line In The Sand”

/ Anne Dennish / 2 Comments

line_in_sand_rr_blog

Boundaries. I know all about them , write about them, and understand their purpose. Yet, I find myself having allowed boundaries to be crossed…. MY boundaries, that is. It happened without warning, yet it happened. I should have known that the feelings I’ve had in the last few months were my own fault, because I had set boundaries and allowed them to be crossed.

I don’t know if I’m more angry at myself for allowing it to happen or if I’m more upset with the person who crossed them. I was open and honest about my boundaries with them, yet somehow they got lost in the every day business of life and relationships.

Truth is, I have a hard time saying “no” and learning to do this, when it’s for my best interest, is a work in progress. I don’t like confrontation, and I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, especially when it’s someone I love. Yet I missed one very important piece to this puzzle:

“Why did I allow MY feelings to be hurt and why was I more concerned over someone I love when I should be loving myself just the same?”recite-1kfn7mb

Truth…an awakening…a slap of reality. Yes, yet another “waking up” moment for me, and I don’t like it. I allowed boundaries to be crossed that upset me, hurt me, and messed with my health. And I wonder if the other party knows this, because they should.

Everyone handles things their own way. Things that upset me may not bother someone else. Yet aren’t we supposed to respect and understand each others’ feelings? If someone tells us they react to something a certain way, shouldn’t we accept that as their truth? Or that perhaps they’re telling us that so we don’t hurt them?.

This was a difficult one for me to figure out, and it took longer than it usually does. I’m intrigued by what makes people tick, and that includes myself. I always tell my love that I’m probably one of the few people he knows that really knows herself well, and that includes my faults and my strengths. I’ll admit when I’m wrong, and ask for understanding of him when I need it. (Sometimes I think I make it too easy for him…what he can’t figure out about me I tell him! LOL!)

So, now what?

First, I need to forgive myself, because I’m mad that I allowed this to happen.

Second, I need to put the boundaries back in place, although the hurt and damage from them  being crossed is already done.

And third, I need to take a cold, hard look at my life to see what’s working and what’s not.

Why did I allow the lines in the sand to be crossed? Who and what is my priority? How did this mishap of crossing boundaries affect my family and my life?

Lines in the sand…that was my problem. I should have set a solid foundation of cement for the boundary. I thought I had, but sometimes when we worry more about someone else we lose sight of what’s best for us, and more importantly, we lose sight of ourselves.

And I’m guilty of that. And life is going to change. And feelings will be hurt.

Yet out of all of this, I know with all my heart that more wonderful things will come out of this lesson! Hearts will bond stronger, relationships will grow and flourish, and life will go on…even better than it was before the boundaries were crossed.

It’s a life lesson, and as much as I write about it, it’s a lesson I needed to learn. The Universe whacked me once again, waking me up to something important: I stopped looking out for my well being and what was good for me, even though I knew that someone else was causing me pain.

It wasn’t a mistake or something done out of malice, because I accept that it’s yet another lesson, another blessing, and another story to be shared to help and teach someone else.

Boundaries are not meant to be controlling tools; they are tools to protect us and let other’s know that we are to be respected. They are the simplest of ways to let someone know that what they do, what they say, or what they want, is not necessarily for OUR highest good… sometimes it’s just for theirs.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

 

 

 

 

“When The Truth Is Revealed”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

 

recite-15kiuk3

It’s a sad day when someone or something you believed to be one thing turns out to be something completely different…and it rocks your world. And it breaks your heart.

Yet it happened to teach you something about yourself.

Maybe your were too trusting; maybe you didn’t look closely enough at them; maybe the rush of exciting emotions clouded your judgement…or maybe you made them into something that they never really were. And you did that because you wanted to believe in them; you wanted to believe in it all.

I’m a writer, and I have to say that sometimes I wonder if I’m writing “my life” the same as when I’m writing a book or short story. Maybe I write my life to look perfect, be perfect and feel perfect, when in reality, it’s my way of avoiding the truth of someone or something. It’s a dangerous realization when you begin to wonder if it’s real…or if it’s simply the dream of something you’ve always wanted.

It’s happened to me more times than I can count in the last few years, and with each realization comes the ending of a friendship or relationship that I was finally able to see the truth about.

And on the day that those realizations came to fruition, so broke my heart; my emotions felt a level of hurt so great that it took my breath away; and the dream of “what was” turned into the nightmare of “what never was.”

Yet I survived it. I picked myself up, and took all those broken pieces of my heart and soul and began to put them back together. I searched the deepest part of my soul to understand why it happened, and find the lesson it was meant to teach me.

I’m still picking up the pieces that were shattered and am learning to distance myself from the people and situations that shattered them in the first place. I’me learning to set up boundaries in my life, and not allow other’s to cross them. I’m finding that “my strength is their weakness, and my weakness is their strength.” And I’m finding that I need to learn to trust other’s when they’ve earned that trust; and that those who lie, deceive and manipulate me are no one that is welcome in my world.

I’m not the only one who goes through this; in fact, I know several people in my life struggling with the same thing: that what they believed to be true had never been true at all.

So often we feel humiliated when this happens, but the truth is that we shouldn’t. Why feel something negative for being kind and compassionate or trusting and loyal? It’s just a lesson, my friends, and a hard one at that, yet with faith in ourselves we can learn from it and move on, stronger than ever.

Don’t beat yourself up for someone else’s shortcomings or hurtful behavior; forgive them, let them go, and move on.

And forgive yourself, because YOU have done nothing wrong.

You simply believed them to be something more than what they were, and they allowed you to see that they weren’t.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“What Inspires You?”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

cropped-cd-cover.jpg

How do you get “inspired?”

Most people think “inspiration” is just for creative people, such as writers, musicians, or artists. Yet we all wake up in the morning knowing what we have to do that day, whether it’s going to work, taking care of your children, or getting your “to do” list accomplished.

And all those things take some “inspiration.” You need to get yourself in the mindset of doing what needs to be done, and while most people don’t see that as “inspiration,” I do. Some of you may be thinking “how do you get inspired to go to work, or get motivated to do all the things on your to do list?” You may be thinking “where’s the inspiration there?”

Well, I’m here to tell you it IS there…it’s all in your perspective. As a writer I need to be “inspired” to write and create, yet I also need that same inspiration to help me get my other responsibilities done.

“Inspiration” is calming and peaceful, and it’s also exciting; it’s our soul taking a passioninspiration and turning it into a reality; it’s our mind making something mundane seem rewarding; and it’s our heart learning to love all that we do.

As I sat under my “magic tree” this morning having my coffee, I was inspired to write this post; I was inspired to organize my day into one of getting things done; and I was inspired to let go of the things that no longer serve me, and focus on the things that do!

My wish for you is to find “inspiration” in every thing you do; to change your perspective on the mundane into one of accomplishment; and to love yourself enough to find your “inspiration.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Fits Like a Glove 1

“It’s time to make a difference!”

“What’s YOUR Life Purpose?”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

Do you know what your life purpose is? Do you ever wonder what it is you’re meant to do with your time on this planet? I do…and throughout all my “adventures” in this lifetime so far, I believe I finally know what my “life purpose” is, and with each new day that I’m blessed to wake up to, I try and hold true to that purpose.

I’ve been through difficult times throughout my life, as well as some truly amazing and beautiful times. I’ve lived through breast cancer and two divorces, through financial freedom and difficulty, through children leaving the nest and moving across the country. I’ve said good-bye to loved ones, and welcomed in new ones. And I’ve viewed each of those as an adventure, a lesson to learn, another way of learning why I’m here.

So, what is my “life purpose?” It’s as simple as it is complex: it’s to make a difference inpurpose someone’s life, to a community, and to hopefully change the world, or at least a small piece of it.

In my book, “Waking Up,” I share many of my adventures, and not all of them are happy ones, yet in my stories, I’ve shared how I’ve gotten through them and how to view them more as “lessons,” not “tragedies.” Life is all about your perspective, and sometimes it takes but one person to make you see another side of a situation, to let you know you’re not alone, and to help you make sense of it all.

I don’t mind life handing me what it has so far, including breast cancer, I just want it to be for a reason. I’ll handle anything life throws my way, as long as I can learn from it and use those lessons to help someone else.

If I can touch even one person, then I will most assuredly know that I’m on the right path of my life purpose. If I can make someone feel better, let them know they’re not alone, help them heal their heart, or soothe their soul, then that’s enough for me!

Think about what your “life purpose” is, because the truth is, we’re all here for a reason!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

your move

“Don’t Die Before You Try”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

It hurts me to hear people talk negatively about their lives and about just “giving up.” It’s as if the situation that life has handed them just isn’t worth the fight, the struggle, or the time to learn the lesson.

Sadly, I’ve heard a lot of this lately and it makes me a bit angry as well. We all have things to go through, and what makes one person’s journey any less than someone else’s? As my uncle used to say: I never say “why me,” I always say “why not me?” And I guess that’s where my way of thinking comes in.

I’ve gone through many, many difficult situations in my life, as well as breast cancer, and truth be told, I never thought “why me.” I knew that it was a situation life chose to hand me to learn from, and with those lessons I decided to share them with others.

In my author bio on my book, “Waking Up,” I say: “I don’t mind what life hands me as long as I learn something from it and can help to make a difference to someone else.” And that’s how I live each day of my life.

It’s not always easy to stay positive, yet it’s a gift of “choice” we’re given to choose to be don't die before you trythat way.

It frustrates me to see people who give up so easily, whether it’s a life situation or cancer… it’s as if they’ve “died before they tried.”

Live each day of your life to the fullest, no matter what difficult situation life hands you. Embrace your challenges with grace and dignity…have faith and believe that you are stronger than the difficulties of the challenges you face.

And when you feel as if you can’t find the strength, let the strength find you. Trust me… it always does!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Finding Your “Inspiration”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

rainbow

How do you get “inspired?”

Most people think “inspiration” is just for creative people, such as writers, musicians, or artists. Yet we all wake up in the morning knowing what we have to do that day, whether it’s going to work, taking care of your children, or getting your “to do” list accomplished.

And all those things take some “inspiration.” You need to get yourself in the mindset of doing what needs to be done, and while most people don’t see that as “inspiration,” I do. Some of you may be thinking “how do you get inspired to go to work, or get motivated to do all the things on your to do list?” You may be thinking “where’s the inspiration there?”

Well, I’m here to tell you it IS there…it’s all in your perspective. As a writer I need to be “inspired” to write and create, yet I also need that same inspiration to help me get my other responsibilities done.

“Inspiration” is calming and peaceful, and it’s also exciting; it’s our soul taking a passion and turning it into a reality; it’s our mind making something mundane seem rewarding; and it’s our heart learning to love all that we do.

As I sat under my “magic tree” this morning having my coffee, I was inspired to write this post; I was inspired to organize my day into one of getting things done; and I was inspired to let go of the things that no longer serve me, and focus on the things that do!

My wish for you is to find “inspiration” in every thing you do; to change your perspective on the mundane into one of accomplishment; and to love yourself enough to find your “inspiration.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

magic tree 3

“Just Believe”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment
It’s been quite a week for my love and I! So many amazing things happening, and as I sit here this morning thinking about it, I’m filled with gratitude at what the Universe has brought into my life… into all our lives! I love those “waking up” moments!
 
And I wondered: “How did I get here?”
 
Then I remembered: “I believed, kept the faith, and let go of trying to control things.” And then amazing things began happening!
 
My life has been one grand adventure after another, whether it be meeting new people, or finding myself being gifted with opportunities I would never have imagined. I believe that everything happens for a reason: “it happens when it should, how it should, and as it should,” and that belief hasn’t let me down yet!
 
Stress, worry and fear are the biggest obstacles in our life, and only you can change that. Once those words are out of your vocabulary, you will be amazed at what the Universe will bring to you! Those words keep the door shut to good things coming into your life, and who wants that?
 
Open the door to the life you deserve with words such as “belief, faith, and love” and you will soon be sitting in gratitude at what comes through it!
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
believe

“Life Is Always Changing…”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

“Life is always changing, time to turn the page,
The story continues, it’s mine to create.
So what do I do now? Where do I go?
Do I let my mind lead me backwards in time
Or move ahead slow?”

lyrics from “What Now” by Anne Dennish & Sutton Thomas

It’s true, life is always changing, and while change can sometimes be difficult, it’s certainly proof that we’re still breathing! Life is an adventure, and lessons for our Highest Good are everywhere, just waiting for us to see them and learn from them.

We’re always having “waking up” moments; that moment when you suddenly become aware of something you never saw before; never realized before; or never knew before.

Yet again, maybe those “somethings” were there all along; it was YOU that changed! You cleared your mind; you listened to your intuition; or perhaps you learned something new about yourself that allowed you the clear sight to see something in a different light.

It’s called “change.” And while life is always changing, so are we. We’re changing for our Highest Good; changing to live the life we always wanted and so deserve; changing to pursue our dreams.

So why are some so scared of change? It’s because we don’t always know where the change will take us…so we will “let our mind lead us backwards in time.” Yet when you embrace the change of the lessons you learned, it’s time to “move ahead slow.”

During our time here on earth, we move into many different lives. We grow, we mature, and we learn as we go, so why go back in time? Go, if only to remember for a moment while you left it in the first place, but jump back quickly into the present; it’s the present that will help build your future.

Let life change you; embrace the lessons your are gifted; release the past with love and light, because what once served you has done its’ time, and something “new” is waiting for you…it always is.

Wishing you love and light and a grand adventure,

~Anne Dennish~

I-know-where-Ive-been