Jersey Shore

“I Can See Clearly Now”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

 

 

Every so often I take a look at all the people in my life; the ones I trust and that I’m closest to. I take a good look and ask myself if I’m my true self with them or the self they need me to be. I ask myself if they bring out the best in me or I simply bring out the best in them. And I ask myself, am I a matter of convenience to them when they need my attention and love or are they there for me as well?

Those questions have been in my mind lately and I believe sometimes we have to look at the big picture because we find at that moment that we’re not living the life we need for our Highest Good. We’re in control of our happiness and in order to be all that we want to be and have the life we want we also have to see who we allow in it, because they have an impact on it.

I have a close knit group of people in my life and I’m always cautious when someone I don’t know well comes into it, whether it’s through a social circle or worse yet, through social media. I don’t take every friend request that comes my way, especially when I don’t know them or I know could cause a problem with my relationship.

So yesterday my eyes were suddenly open and seeing things differently, and I wondered why. Yet I knew why: the Universe wanted me to see and so that I could think about it and decide what I would do with what I saw and felt.

Communication between two people is key; trust is earned and maintained; and love is felt by actions, not simply words.

So as I rode in silence I heard the following questions:

  • Am I as much of a priority to someone as they are to me?
  • Do I care for someone more than they care for me?
  • Does my life revolve around all the people in it rather than it being on me?
  • Do they focus on me as much as I focus on them?
  • Do I support them more than they support me?
  • Does every conversation revolve around “them” and end when it begins to revolve around “me?”
  • Do they accept my feelings about something even though they don’t understand why I feel that way?
  • If they do something that hurts me do they do it again or do they love and respect me enough not to do it again, even if it doesn’t make sense to them.
  • Are they starting to find faults in me rather than positive things?
  • Do they put as much effort into me as they do to social media?

So many things to think about and I knew in my heart that I had the answers. And let me say that these questions pertain to all of your relationships, whether it’s a friendship, your family, or a relationship between two people.

And I ask to ask myself: Do they look different in my eyes now?

Now what do I do? What do you do if you find yourself in this position?

You take a leap of faith in who you are; you need to believe that you deserve to be treated as you treat them; and you need to communicate your feelings to them with love, kindness and respect.

And if you do these things and the response is not what you had hoped, then you’ll know the answers to your questions were right.

And that you need to turn the page in your book of life and move onto the next chapter…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“What Do Men And Women Want From Each Other?”

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My love and I were talking yesterday and came to one conclusion: men have a simple way of looking at things and handling them, while women? Well, not so much! So I decided to write an article about it which will also be a part of a book I’m writing.

This is where I need your help. I need to know what you want from the man/woman in your relationship or if you’re single, what is it you’re looking for in a partner. It’s similar to “what a girl wants and what a man needs.”

I look forward to seeing all your responses! Thanks for your help! Who knows, your responses could help another couple better understand one another!

(Please know that I am not excluding same sex couples; my intent was more on the differences between men and women in a relationship.)

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“It’s Your Own Fault”

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~This is an excerpt from my new book, “My Collective Soul,” which will be released in Octover of 2017~

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We live in a time of blaming others for our shortcomings. It’s easier to blame someone else than to take our accountability for our actions. I see it all the time. People living less of the life they want and pointing the finger at everyone else. They blame others; they say it’s someone else’s fault; they don’t know how to stand in their own truth.

And they do that because it’s easier to blame someone else than to look in the mirror and claim our part in what makes us unhappy.

No one wants to look in the mirror. It’s the mirror of our face, our shortcomings, our faults, our weaknesses, yet what most people don’t understand is that it’s also the mirror of our strength, of our successes, of our truth.

Most people fear the mirror because they don’t always like what they see, yet what you see is what you can change, if you choose to. What we see is our soul and our heart and if you can’t come to terms to accept what you see, then you, my friends, have the right to change it.

You were gifted the ability to change in yourself and your life what you don’t like. If you look in the mirror and see a weakness then go out and strengthen it. If you look in the mirror and see your faults then change it and see your strengths. If you look in the mirror and see and ugly person then change it to make yourself beautiful, and I don’t mean in looks.

Our hearts dictate our beauty. Our hearts allow the outside world to see who we are. Our hearts are the keepers of our secrets, and they also hold the keeper of our truth.

Let it out.

Look in the mirror and yourself and see your beauty. See your strengths, see your accomplishments, see all that you endured, see your illness, see your broken marriage or relationship, see the pain and the hurt.

See it all…

And then look again.

Look at YOU.

Stare at yourself for as long as you need to.

And within a few minutes your face will look different; your demeanor will change; your soul and heart will start to break through the negative sight of what you see and show you the light.

Let it.

Let go.

And know that all that stuff that happened to you is simply that: stuff. Let it go. And accept that anything that happenened to you was meant to. It was a lesson from your Higher Power to stop and take a look at your life; to take a look at yourself.

We all have a hand in our life. We love to blame everyone else, yet it takes two people to argue; two to fight; two to find love and two to end it. It takes two people to have an affair and two people to join together in marriage.

Stop blaming and take a step back.

Look in that mirror, point the finger at yourself and say: “It’s your own fault.”

And then forgive yourself for not being perfect, because you’re not supposed to be. You’re supposed to be human. You’re supposed to make mistakes, and you’re supposed to learn from them.

You’re supposed to feel pain so that you can feel happiness.

You’re supposed to give freedom for your heart to break so that you can learn how to heal it.

You’re supposed to fail at some things so that you can succeed at what you were meant to.

You’re supposed to cry so that you can smile.

You’re supposed to end a relationship so that you can begin another one.

You’re supposed to be human.

You see, you are amazing. You are an incredible individual and no one else is like you. We all have faults and that’s okay because the right friend or partner will love you for them. We all fall and we all can get up and we can get up stronger.

We all can make a choice; we all can take a chance; we all can fall deep down to the bottom.

And you can choose to get up.

So pick yourself up and get it right. Straighten up and straighten up. You can do it because I have. I’ve fallen so deep throughout my life that I couldn’t see the sun. I’ve been so weak that I lost sight of what strength felt like. I felt so alone that I forgot what love was.

And then I looked in the mirror.

I looked long and hard, and at first I didn’t like what I saw.

But I kept looking.

And within a few minutes I saw a girl who was simply broken from all that life had handed her. I looked her hard straight in her eyes and saw something that she didn’t: her will.

I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be better, I wanted a different life.

I kept looking at this girl who had become a stranger to me and felt compassion for her, and in that moment I realized I was feeling compassion for myself.

So I forgave myself for everything.

I knew it was my fault because I allowed it all to happen.

But as I looked at her in the mirror I let it gave, told her I loved her, and changed my life in that moment, just like that.

She changed.

She became strong.

She believed in herself.

She loved herself.

And no matter what was her fault, she forgave it all.

And she forgave all the people that were a part of it.

And she cried tears of sadness as she let go and tears of happiness as she stood in her truth.

And all was right with her world.

And never again would she say “it’s your own fault” because she would never allow it to be.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Turning Off The World”

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turn off the world

It’s been a rough week for me, one filled with a mix of emotions, disappointments, hurt and feeling mentally and physically exhausted, yet I was able to get through the last week knowing that on Saturday morning my love and I were finally getting away for the night…a much needed 24 hours away, just us two. I’ve been wanting to do this for two months and we were there, at last.

It’s so important to reconnect with the one you love every so often, or as often as you can. Life is always happening, work calls, responsibilities, career changes and the list goes on. It keeps us busy and we lose focus on what’s important: each other and the care of the relationship.

And that’s what was happening to us.

So I had suggested a night away. It took two months to do it, but I booked a beautiful hotel with all the amenities we could want, which meant that we could check in and never have to leave until we checked out the next day.

My only request was that we turned off the phones, no texting, no messages, no emails, no television and definitely NO Facebook. In other words, I wanted to turn the world off.

And he agreed.

And we did it.

And it was a beautiful 24 hours of no distractions of any kind and our full attention was on each other. It worked out so well that when we got home the next day I suggested that we keep it going until Monday morning, the day that I knew the real world had to come back into our life.

I realized an important thing in that 24 four hour period: that we all need to turn off and shut out the real world at times, and sometimes that time is as often as possible.

During those hours we had to focus on each other, because that’s all we had in that hotel room, and in the grand scheme of relationships, isn’t that all we have in the end…”each other?” Isn’t the relationship between two people important enough that we should never lose sight of? Shouldn’t the relationship be tended to as we do our garden…we care for it, feed it what it needs, and cut out the weeds?

Relationships need to be tended to and cared for just like a garden. When they feel fragile they need to be solidified. When they seem weak they need to be strengthened. And when they feel lost both people need to find each other…together.

It’s really a pretty simple concept, yet in the busy world, often times overlooked.

And I’m not that girl. I pay attention to the smallest and largest of detail and I’m protective of our relationship.

So these 24 hours were not just desperately needed, but absolutely necessary.

We had dinner together, sat for hours on the balcony under the moon and the stars sipping Sangria and just being alone together with no distractions of the outside world or anyone in it. There were no long conversations, a rare thing for me, but in my mind I wanted to leave my troubles behind and just “be” on this balcony with him.

I realized that it was the first time in more months than I could count that we were truly alone with no distractions, and as the hours passed we seemed to find each other again, over and over.

And it was comforting.

So here I am on Monday morning opening my life up back to the world. It already feels in the enddifferent yet I know this to be true: you can run but you can’t hide, and this is “life.”

The lesson I learned in this is that the real world always exists, but it’s important to turn it off as often as you can and forget about the distractions.

In the end there is nothing more important than the love you share together as a couple and never allowing the outside world to distract you from what’s truly important and what truly matters: each other. After all, “love is what lifts you up when life tries to bring you down.”

I can promise you that it’s worth it in the end; after all, it’s not the distractions that are important, it’s the relationship between you and the one you love.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“The Lost Art of Loyalty”

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

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 While I was in Malibu a few years ago finishing up my book, “Waking Up,” I was working on a short story about “loyalty.” I asked many people what it meant to them, and it soon became a topic that no one had a definitive answer for. In fact, a few people were annoyed when I asked their opinion; seemed it stuck in their mind and made them search for an answer; an answer that they could never find.

It also made them question the people in their life…and it made me question those in mine as well.

So what is loyalty? Does it have a different meaning for everyone? Do we make our own rules as to what loyalty is or is there a universal rule?

I start with my own loyalty. If you’re in my life and I love and care for you, I’ll always be loyal, unless you cross a boundary, in which case, I won’t strike back and become disloyal to you, I’ll simply walk away. 

Next is the loyalty of those in my life. In healthy relationships of any kind, boundaries must bad bosses 1be set for respect between each person. What bothers one person in the relationship may not bother another, yet communicating that to each other is key in the loyalty department. If you cross a boundary with someone in your life, you’ve just proved that you’re not loyal. 

You see, “loyalty” is a tough one. The only answer I could get out of most people I spoke to about it was when they referenced the loyalty of a dog. A dog will always be loyal, yet my question made many wonder why humans can’t be the same.

We can, that is, if we choose to.

My loyalty lies with my love, my children and my closest of friends. And that loyalty goes beyond me; if you hurt those I love, my loyalty will have me walk out of your life as well. It doesn’t matter who you are. 

Not many people are willing to do that. Many feel that it’s not their problem when someone hurts the ones’ you love; as long as they weren’t disloyal it’s okay. But is it? If someone intentionally hurts your child, or your spouse or significant other, why would you want to be a part of their life? 

I think that’s where the confusion lies. I’ve been in that position before, where my loyalty was tested. It was a rough road between two people I care about, yet when push came to shove, my loyalty was with my love, not with the person who was hurting him. And I had to step out of that world with that other person, because my loyalty and my life is around him. Yes, feelings are hurt when you have to walk away from someone, yet in the end, it’s the right thing to do.

At least for me it was.

I know what loyalty is to me, and I won’t settle for anyone in my life being less loyal to me. We attract what we put out there, and for anyone that knows me, they know I have their back. They know I’ll walk through fire for them, defend them, honor them, love them, protect them, and more importantly, I will walk away from anyone who hurts them. End of story.

“Loyalty” is much more than how you treat someone; it’s also about how other’s treat the people in your life and whether or not you accept that behavior. The choice is yours.

Is “loyalty” a lost art or have we forgotten the importance of it?

“Loyalty” is one of the strongest qualities in any relationship because it breeds trust and respect, and isn’t that what every good relationship should be built on?

Think about it.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

loyalty

“Lost In Your Life”

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lost timeline

Every so often life throws us a curveball, one which we didn’t see coming. And suddenly we find ourselves feeling lost, feeling that we can’t get a handle on something, and feeling out of control with our emotions.

I understand those feelings well, and the situations that cause them happen unexpectedly and without warning. Just when our life is going smoothly and we’re moving forward we find ourselves in the middle of a storm of emotions that we don’t know how to handle.

And we suddenly find ourselves standing still and feeling stuck.

So what do you do when this happens? How do you “get a handle” on everything happening around you?

You stop for a moment and breathe.

You may feel as though the world around you is spinning out of control, yet you need to understand that it is “life” happening, whether it’s good or bad. Life is happening to teach you a lesson or change your perspective. Life is happening because that’s what “life” does. It moves forward, whether you’re ready or not, and it can be filled with both happiness and sadness. And that is life.

Those unexpected curveballs leave you feeling lost and out of control, feeling as though you can’t get a handle on what’s going on around and within you. But you can, and I can promise you that you will…it just takes time.

And it takes looking at the happiness that surrounds you. Look around at  those that love you and care for you; look at the person who is always there for you, through good and bad; look at the big picture of your life and be grateful for it. Don’t lose sight of the important people in your life: embrace them and be grateful to have them. They are the ones who will be there when you’re feeling lost and out of control. They are the ones you can lean on for support and love. They are the ones who love you unconditionally.

“Feeling lost” doesn’t last forever; in fact, I’ve found that the times I felt most lost were the times I was actually finding myself.

Be kind to yourself during these moments in your life and let those that love you help you through. Everything will be alright.

I promise.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

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“Dancing in the Rain”

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My love and I went to a concert the other night. It was a concert we bought tickets for monthsfor1 ago and the night was upon us. The day was sunny, hot and humid. We got dressed for the night, picked up subs and our wine so that we could tailgate in the parking lot. It was a night we had looked forward to for months.

We arrived in the parking lot a few hours before the concert, opened the back hatch, turned on the music, and poured ourselves a cocktail with dinner. There were some nice people surrounding us, all bonding over the upcoming excitement of the concert we were all there to see. We sat there, eating and drinking, enjoying each others’ company on our “Saturday Night Date Night” and relaxing. The night got even better when three of our friends showed up at the back of the truck. We all hung out and walked into the concert together. for3

My love rented two chairs for us to use on our “lawn seats” and at the moment the first band began to play it started to rain.

And it continued to rain.

We had slickers on, but the rain still managed to soak our shirts and our jeans. We watched the first concert, standing up singing and dancing. The rain still came down and became a bit stronger by the second band. We still stood up and danced and sang, enjoying this date night in the rain.

The third band, our favorite, “Foreigner,” came on just as the skies opened up, and I for6mean opened up with a vengeance! We were covered with protection, yet still soaked through…and it was at that moment, rain so hard that we could barely see one another, that we began laughing out loud…belly laughing…laughing at the sight of each other soaked, covered with “plastic” to keep us dry, and that we waited all night to hear our favorite band and the rain came down as a torrential downpour.

But there’s my point.

We laughed and we laughed together at the sight of my glasses fogged up and the “lake” of rain water piling up in the center of his coat. We laughed because this was so typical of our life together and so typical that we would find something funny in it.

And we did.

And we always will.

Life is about your perspective, and we make the best of ours. We take the unexpected for8and find humor in it because we’re together. We take a night of torrential downpour, of our clothes being soaked beyond belief, of a band that we could barely see through the rain and we made it “ours.” We made the best of it and most importantly, we made a memory.~Anne

Life is meant to be lived, no matter the weather.

And I would rather be dancing in the rain with my love rather than running to seek shelter to stay dry.

Sometimes you have to get wet to see the humor in life; sometimes you have to dance in the rain to find your rhythm together; and sometimes you have to find your funny together, come rain or come shine.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“There’s Strength In The Tears”

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

I’ve had many people tell me how strong I am and I always wondered why they thought that. After all, I had bad days, sad days, and days of crying for no reason and every reason. Was this being strong? I didn’t think so until a few years ago when I changed my perspective on tears and what they meant.

Tears are our soul’s way of releasing the pain, the pleasure and the emotion built up within us. Tears cleanse our soul of those feelings so that we can again move on with our life. Tears are simply a moment in time that was necessary for our Highest Good.strength and tears

My cousin is a strong woman, the one I call “the gypsy.” I’ve seen her cry and heard her ask me how people could think she was so strong? Well, a few years ago I would have given her a different answer, but on that day I told her she was strong, especially since she knew that there were moments when she knew she had to cry, and she was strong enough to allow herself to cry.

I believe that your strength is in knowing yourself well enough to know that you have to shed a tear or two, or a thousand. Your strength is allowing yourself the time it takes to release your emotions and knowing that you need to do this for yourself.

And your strength is picking yourself up, wiping the tears from your face, and moving forward. Your strength is knowing that you’ve released all that you needed to for that moment and knew it was time to smile again.

That is strength.

Strength is knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and willing to be who you are despite the opinions of anyone else.

Strength is knowing when you need a day to cry, to feel emotions, to miss someone, to want someone, to lose someone. Your strength is within you and the tears you release are merely the soul’s way of helping you through your pain and sadness.

Cry if you need to and cry if you want to… after all, “it won’t be like this forever, just for today!”

And after you’re done, smile, smile, smile!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Do It Big!”

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I’m not going to tell you that each new day holds endless possibilities, even though it does; I’m not going to tell you that there’s an adventure just waiting for you, even though there is; and I’m not going to tell you that dreams come true, even though they do.

What I am going to tell you is that if you’re going to live your life, you might as well live it big! Dream big, love big, and live big. Set your mind to believing that all is possible and then do it…and do it as big as you can!

It’s a good thing!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

dream it

Photo by Anne Dennish – copyright 2016

“Dance Along The Journey”

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dancing timeline

The best way to get through this “journey of life” is to dance along with it!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~