Gratitude

“Write Your Life”

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“Life is always changing, it’s time to turn the page; so the story continues and it’s mine to create. It’s all an adventure, my life is a song; I know where I’ve been, not where I’m going but I’m dancing along.”  ~Anne Dennish~

My life has been a series of ups and downs, adventures and restlessness, good times and bad, yet through it all I’ve accepted that it was meant to be that way. All those moments happened to teach me a lesson. They happened because I wasn’t living my life as I should and there’s times that the Universe steps in and whacks us with a two by four to “wake us up.” It stops us dead in our tracks to feel the pain and understand why it hurts. After all, we feel what we allow.

And when pain and heartache happen it’s because we allowed the behaviors that led up to that moment happen. We allowed someone to cross our boundaries and treat us in a way we shouldn’t be treated.

We lost sight of ourselves and in the process of caring for everyone else we forgot to care for ourself. We forgot to love ourself first, to respect ourself, to take care of ourself, and when other’s see that we’ve forgotten that, they cross our boundaries.

We have to draw a line in the sand that shouldn’t be crossed, yet maybe we should be drawing a line in the cement.

Broken hearts and pain don’t happen overnight. Sure, we feel blindsided when it happens yet when it does you begin to look at the behaviors that led up to it and suddenly you’re not so surprised or shocked that someone hurt you. You let them disrespect you long before they hurt you; you let them love you less than you loved yourself because their ego was larger than their heart; and you began to blame yourself and made excuses for them.

Losing sight of yourself and seeing only them strengthens their ego and robs you of your self-esteem.

But there’s hope in the heartache and purpose in the pain.

The hope is that the broken heart will mend stronger and the purpose in the pain is to teach you a lesson about yourself. It’s to bring the focus back onto “you.”

Life is always changing and the change is up to you. Your life is your story and you are the author. You create what you want.

Write your story well and if you need to make some edits along the way be sure they’re for your Highest Good.

It’s your story…

It’s your life…

Make it spectacular!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“A Tragedy in Manchester, England”

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The internet is filled with a mix of emotions over last nights’ tragedy in England, from anger and hatred to sadness. The world can feel so safe until something rocks our world and fills us with fear.

It seems that when tragedy strikes there are those that will say to “hug your children more, say I love you to those you love and be grateful for each day you are gifted,” yet I say we should be that way everyday. It shouldn’t take a tragedy to open our eyes to the life we are blessed to have and to be grateful for our loved ones.

So today let us all join together in compassion and kindess, love and understanding for the world. Let’s pray for England, for an end to violence in the world, and more importantly, let us pray for each other.

Wishing you love and light

and peace…

~Anne Dennish~

prayers for England

Photo by Anne Dennish – copyright 2017

“Dance Along The Journey”

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dancing timeline

The best way to get through this “journey of life” is to dance along with it!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Change of Plans”

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Our days don’t always go as planned, as yesterday was one of those days for me. I had plans for the day that never came to fruition, so what next? Well, do it all over again today… more rested, more upbeat, and ready to go!

It can be frustrating when things don’t go your way, but my belief is that the Universe had other plans for my day yesterday, and has even bigger plans today! So, I take my leap of faith and go with the flow.

Same for my writing, which has been slow going lately. This picture depicts what myfrustrated 1 desk and me look like at the moment. Yet, I know that just as the plans of yesterday were changed, sometimes my writing is the same: I have to wait, watch and listen to the world around me to find the next story to write, the next post to share, and the next book to publish.

Today I accept what is and what isn’t and am ready to embrace another day and hopefully, another adventure.

Don’t get discouraged when things don’t go as planned; it’s simply the Universe planning something better!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

just for today

“Getting Your Balls Back”

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I once put two brass balls in a plastic bag and gave them to my girlfriend. I told her that if I ever lost them again to give them back to me.

I was a different woman then than I am now when I went through my divorce. It was over 10 years ago and that woman I was seems so foreign to me now.

I remember that at that time I made many changes in my life; I had lost weight, been college booksworking out at the gym, and had gone back to college to take creative writing courses. I was invited by my professor, a published author as well, to join his writer’s workshop. It was the best time of my life, yet also the darkest time knowing that there was a divorce to go through.

Yet I was strong. All those things I was doing for “me” gave me the strength to endure a nasty divorce. I felt good about myself, I felt like my brain was functioning like a writer, not just a mom, and I was in great shape. I will always believe that my Higher Power had directed me to all those positive changes to make me stronger, because He knew what was just around the corner for me.working out

I thought at that time that my children would feel like their mother had “left the building” because I was doing a lot of things, good things, for me. Yet that wasn’t so. I remember them being so proud of me for all of it, and I realized that all the things I did for myself were making me a better “mom” to them. What a feeling and what a lesson to learn. Sometime we “mom’s” think that if we’re doing things for ourselves that our children will suffer. So not true. It made my relationship with my kids even stronger, and to hear them brag to their friends about their mom going back to school and writing a book was one of the best moments I ever experienced as their mother. My oldest son loved the fact that I was working out and used to joke with his friends that “they better watch out because my mom can beat you up!” So simple, yet so empowering.

And that’s when I realized and learned that doing good things for me isn’t selfish. It made me a stronger and better woman and mom, and all that good stuff spilled onto my kids.

Sadly, it didn’t spill onto my husband. He hated it all. I look back objectively now and see that he may have felt threatened that this woman he controlled for over 20 years suddenly had a mind and body all her own, and she did it without him. I actually did it because of him.

Everything happens for a reason and I look back at that time and truly believe that all those things I did for myself were put in my path to make me strong, because once the divorce process began, my world changed. And it was all that I did for myself that helped to get me through.

It was sad enough that the marriage had been abusive on all levels, yet the divorce was even worse. The details aren’t important but the outcome is: I’m a different woman now and living in a happy life with two of my five children and the love of my life.

Yet there were times I lost my strength during it. I was a single mom taking care of the mental and physical well being of five children; I was the woman dealing with lawyers and sitting through mediations, which were a waste of time. I was tired, lonely, and so wanting it to be over.

My serenity at that time was in the backyard of my girlfriend. I could shed my tears there, talk for as long as I needed, and could always count on her shoulder to cry on. I remember one day she looked at me and said “where’d your balls go? You’re such a strong woman but not now? You gotta find your balls again, girlfriend.”

And so I did. I put two of them in that bag and told her to give them back to me if I ever lost them again.

And I never did.

Well, to be honest, there are times I feel weak and ready to give up, but I always remember that bag of balls that she still has and that’s enough for me to get them back.

And I always do…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

brass balls 1

“The Lost Stars”

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lost timeline

I think at one time in life or another, we feel lost. We lose our direction as to where we’re supposed to be and what we’re supposed to be doing. We lose focus, we lose balance, and for a brief time, we lose ourselves.

But we’re never really lost. In fact, we’re actually being found when we feel most lost.

And it’s you finding yourself.

What a gift that is to be lost. What a gift to work on finding yourself. What a gift it is to learn something new about yourself. Wow…what a gift!

I like to think that we’re like stars in the sky, twinkling bright one moment then hidden away by the clouds. Isn’t that what life is like sometimes? One minute we’re all that we can be until something happens to diminish it, and isn’t that the same as a cloud covering the twinkling of a star?

And here’s the best part: the clouds will move and the star will shine again, and that’s exactly how we are as human beings. We can’t always be perfect, and we can’t always shine, but when the cloud moves, there we are…the brightest star ever trying to light up the dark.

Feeling lost is similar to the cloud in front of the star; it’s only a moment or two that it lasts, but in the end, the star shines again and even brighter. Those moments of feeling lost are simply our cloud hiding our star, but a star is a forever, and so is your soul. A cloud will move on and move out; it will move across the sky and dissipate with time.

But the star has a light of its’ own, just like you. A star always burns bright, and while its’ twinkle and shine may get covered by a cloud, so will you. Your clouds are simply lessons to learn in life; they’re not meant to stay forever, just until you learn what you need to. And then it moves and so do you and you shine ever more brightly.

Try and look at a day when you feel lost as an adventure; you don’t know what’s coming next, you don’t know who will drop into your life, and you don’t know what opportunities are coming. Your light may be dimmed by this feeling, but if you can accept it as a gift, trust in the journey, believe in yourself and have faith in your Higher Power, you’ll find yourself again. Don’t worry about being lost; I can promise you that you will always be found,that the cloud will move and you will be left as a bright star who can light up the dark.

And I can promise you that you always be found!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

maroon 5 lost stars

“On The Outside Looking In”

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invisible me 3

There are times in my life when I feel like I’m on the outside looking in and I know in my heart that it’s okay to feel that way, because:

“Sometimes you need to step outside of your life in order to see what’s inside of it”.

Do you ever find yourself getting lost in the midst of your day to day routine? Getting lost among your loved ones, finding yourself wondering who you are anymore? Are you a mom, a wife, a “life partner?” And where are “you?” Where did you go?

It’s not a conscious decision to be on the outside. It just happens. One day you wake up and don’t feel like yourself; you feel like you’re “on the outside looking in.” At least for me that’s how it happens. And there’s no time frame for it; you feel that way for as long as it takes to see and learn what you need to, and it could be a day or two, or longer.

Sometimes amidst the routine of loving and caring for my nearest and dearest I suddenly find myself wondering where I went to…where am I in all this. It seems like everything is about everybody else, but not me.

I feel like no one notices me unless they need something, and tempers are shortened when I’m not doing what I should be…for them. I spoiled them by doing it all, and I love doing it all, but I also love being loved and cared for by THEM. I want them to spoil me just a bit, I want them to notice my feelings, I want them to reassure me of their love and commitment to me as much as I do to them. I don’t want to be taken for granted.

Yet on the other hand, I believe that being on the “outside” is most often times the only way we can observe our life; it’s the one way we can be objective by looking in from the outside at each person and each situation; it’s the best way we can see what is or isn’t and learn from it.

It’s the best way to see ourselves objectively.

And that’s when the lessons are learned.

We observe the behavior of others towards us; we see how they’re treating us and how we’re reacting to it. We see what the truth of our relationships are and what they aren’t. We see our strengths and our weaknesses, and we can see whether or not we’re speaking our truth.

Often times we find ourselves on the outside when we’re holding too much inside; we’re not speaking our truth for fear of the outcome. It’s that fear thing holding us back and keeping us on the outside.

I’m looking from the outside at all the excitement everyone around me is having; new adventures, exciting opportunities, and movement, yet I’m not a part of it. I’m here, in a life of laundry and cooking, responsibility and reality.

I’m looking at this girl I once knew who had one adventure after another, more excitement than she knew what to do, and an appetite for life and all it had to offer. Life slowed down on her, and she stepped back and she stepped into solitude; the woman who’s life revolves around every one else’s became invisible to those she loved most.

Yet, it was her fault. She allowed it, she contributed to it, and by not speaking her truth, those around her never knew how she was feeling. She had hoped that they would; but they didn’t. And I guess in the end,  it doesn’t matter, because that’s what being on the outside is about, and she knows that it’s up to her to get back to the inside.

So, here I sit on the outside, observing, making decisions, and making big changes. I want those adventures again; I want to feel the excitement of my passion again; I want to be me again.

And so I will. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even being on the outside, and once I  get back to the inside I feel that my life will be even better than it is now.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

outside looking in

“Still Your Mind”

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There are days when I feel as though I can’t think…and it’s on days like that I have to remind myself to “still my mind and listen;” listen to my heart, listen to my soul, listen to my intuition.

And the answers will always come, and so will a feeling of “peace.”

It’s okay to slow down a bit, to take some time for yourself and find your center.

It’s a good thing!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

still your mindPhoto by Anne Dennish – copyright 2017

“The Gift In A Sunrise”

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aaaaa

I believe that everything happens for a reason and this morning was no exception. My love had to be up at 4 am this morning, which meant I was up with him! Once he left I grabbed my coffee and sat down at my laptop, my usual morning routine. As I was trying to piece together an article, I caught a glimpse of the sky in my backyard. It was no longer pitch black, but getting brighter. I knew that meant one thing: the sun was coming up.

I haven’t been up for a sunrise in awhile, and the thought crossed my mind to go down to my “happy place” to see it. It’s still freezing here, but I decided to throw on my big red coat, grab my coffee and camera, and head out. I was so afaid it would rise before I got there, yet as I pulled into the marina parking lot, I knew I still had time.

The sky was a burnt orange color reflecting off the water. It wasn’t windy like it has been herebbbbbbbbbbbb for days, but a gentle breeze blew strong enough to make ripples across the water. The seagulls and ducks were silhouettes against the sky and as I sat there I thought how incredibly lucky I am to live near the water, and how grateful I am that I was up to see this awesome show in the sky.

I’m so drawn to this beautiful area that I call my “happy place.” It’s the place I go to think, to listen and to just “be.” It’s the place that holds beautiful sunrises, sunsets, and amazing glitters of sunshine across the water throughout the day.

It was a perfect Monday morning and a great way to welcome in spring. The weather is still cold here at the Jersey Shore, but spring has definitely sprung! My heart is warm with this beautiful gift of the sunrise this morning and I know that any day that starts out like this will hold some endless possibilities.

Everything does happen for a reason, and sometimes even the earliest of mornings and latest of nights can bring a beautiful surprise or two into your life…you just have to be open to seeing it all.

Happy First Day Of Spring!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

All photos by Anne Dennish – copyright @2017

 

“The Man In The Moon”

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man in the moon

It’s amazing what you can see when you look at the moon; it’s amazing what you can see when you allow yourself to believe in something bigger than facts and reality. It’s amazing to understand that there is life after death, and even more amazing to hear and feel your loved ones after they’ve passed.

It’s a gift to believe, and a gift of comfort, yet for some, if not most, fear prevents those very things we need to feel that comfort from coming in. Fear keeps us in the facts, unable to fathom that there is a spiritual world and spiritual realm outside of that. Fear of the opinion of others’ thinking we’re crazy because we can see and feel things that they can’t keeps the door from the other side closed, when in reality, we want to keep it open.

So we start with baby steps; we open it a crack. We want to see and believe, but we want proof. And trust me, proof is there, but it’s the programming of our human mind that tells us it couldn’t be so.

But it is…it is absolutely so.

I’ve lost many people I’ve loved throughout the years, and two in particular in the last few months. Did I cry over their passing? Absolutely. I cried at MY loss, not theirs. I believe that the other side, which I believe to be Heaven, is the place where they are whole, they are young, and they are not in pain. Why would I cry over them being in a better place? Why? Because I miss them; their passing changed my daily routine and changed my life; it left a void in my life and an ache in my heart. I miss them because I want them here. I want their voice, I want their touch, I want their human connection.

But the human connection is gone, and thanks to my many spiritual teachers throughout my life, I’ve learned that while a human connection is personal, a spiritual connection is even stronger, and will last until our last breath. A spiritual connection means that they know the answers to the questions; they have our back as our guardian angel; they see us all the time and come to visit at the times we need them most; and that their love for us was made stronger on the other side because of our love for them here. Love is the strongest emotion there is, the one that gives us strength; the one that fills us with light; the one that can never be taken away. Love is truly all we need.

On the other side we don’t need to call on them, they always know when to come. They come through our dreams, our thoughts, our memories; a familiar smell or favorite song; they come through a laugh and they come through a smile; they can even come in the moon and the stars, the ocean and the mountains. It’s your love here on earth that keeps them connected to you in heaven. Love never dies with a body; love lives on within the soul.

The messages of loved ones can be heard when you can still your mind and believe that when you hear them, it’s truly them speaking. When you feel a random touch, it’s them. When a tear rolls down your face thinking of them, it is they who dry it. When you feel scared and lonely and miss them so deeply, it is them that brings you a memory to think about to lessen your loneliness.

Talk to them; listen to them; feel them and love them. Miss them all you want, because they understand, yet they want you to know that they’re okay, and that you will be too. Love isn’t meant to be painful; love is meant to bring joy and peace. They understand your missing them, but they also know it’s through missing them that you talk about the memories, and that is what keeps them alive. That is what keeps their spirit alive, and it’s their spirit that you carry within you. On earth they were in your presence; in heaven they’re in your soul.

I’ve seen the man in the moon with his silly smile, his loving eyes and his tilted glasses on his nose; I’ve seen the woman in the stars with her arms stretched out to hold me; I’ve heard my friends in the sunrise and the sunset with their voice of reason and tone of reassurance; I’ve felt the touch of my loved ones as a gentle breeze blew through me.

I’ve seen them all and they were all at peace.

And they wrapped me in all the love they have for me…now and forever.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Lyrics by Anne Dennish – Music and Vocals by Sutton Thomas 2016