faith

“Losing Sight Of What Really Matters”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

Social media can be a great tool to keep in touch with old classmates as well as friends and family that live far away.

Yet it can become a way of life for some; the people that base their life on the “number of likes, friends and friend requests” they get, and that’s sad because they’ve lost sight of reality and the people in their life.

My own personal feeling is that I would rather have human touch, a voice, and an interaction with someone in the real, physical world. It means more to me when I get a call from a friend or they stop by to visit  me than by any “friend request” I receive from someone who never game me the time of day over the years or put the effort in to reach out to me.  While social media can be a great tool, especially if you use it for business, I don’t base my life on it. I don’t take every “friend” request just because I receive one. I’m more cautious on social media than I am in the real world.  My love, my children and my close friends mean the world to me and I will never let social media take priority over them.

So today I want you to look at your life with a different perspective and ask yourself these questions: Are you more in touch with the physical world and the people in it or are you more focused on your social media page? Where is your priority…with people you don’t know well on social media or with the ones you do know well in your life?

And the most important question to ask yourself is this: Do you spend more time on social media than you do with the people you love?

Don’t base your life on “likes and friends” on social media; base your life on the people in your life that love you.

I know I do.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“I Can See Clearly Now”

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Every so often I take a look at all the people in my life; the ones I trust and that I’m closest to. I take a good look and ask myself if I’m my true self with them or the self they need me to be. I ask myself if they bring out the best in me or I simply bring out the best in them. And I ask myself, am I a matter of convenience to them when they need my attention and love or are they there for me as well?

Those questions have been in my mind lately and I believe sometimes we have to look at the big picture because we find at that moment that we’re not living the life we need for our Highest Good. We’re in control of our happiness and in order to be all that we want to be and have the life we want we also have to see who we allow in it, because they have an impact on it.

I have a close knit group of people in my life and I’m always cautious when someone I don’t know well comes into it, whether it’s through a social circle or worse yet, through social media. I don’t take every friend request that comes my way, especially when I don’t know them or I know could cause a problem with my relationship.

So yesterday my eyes were suddenly open and seeing things differently, and I wondered why. Yet I knew why: the Universe wanted me to see and so that I could think about it and decide what I would do with what I saw and felt.

Communication between two people is key; trust is earned and maintained; and love is felt by actions, not simply words.

So as I rode in silence I heard the following questions:

  • Am I as much of a priority to someone as they are to me?
  • Do I care for someone more than they care for me?
  • Does my life revolve around all the people in it rather than it being on me?
  • Do they focus on me as much as I focus on them?
  • Do I support them more than they support me?
  • Does every conversation revolve around “them” and end when it begins to revolve around “me?”
  • Do they accept my feelings about something even though they don’t understand why I feel that way?
  • If they do something that hurts me do they do it again or do they love and respect me enough not to do it again, even if it doesn’t make sense to them.
  • Are they starting to find faults in me rather than positive things?
  • Do they put as much effort into me as they do to social media?

So many things to think about and I knew in my heart that I had the answers. And let me say that these questions pertain to all of your relationships, whether it’s a friendship, your family, or a relationship between two people.

And I ask to ask myself: Do they look different in my eyes now?

Now what do I do? What do you do if you find yourself in this position?

You take a leap of faith in who you are; you need to believe that you deserve to be treated as you treat them; and you need to communicate your feelings to them with love, kindness and respect.

And if you do these things and the response is not what you had hoped, then you’ll know the answers to your questions were right.

And that you need to turn the page in your book of life and move onto the next chapter…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

“Life And Your Water Bottle”

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water bottles

I was talking to a friend the other day about her life and all the changes she wants to make, when suddenly I found myself saying to her: life is like a water bottle, if it’s filled to the top with all the negative people and situations in your life then there’s no room to fill it with the water of the positive.

She loved the analogy and I thought about it further. It’s always a good thing to be able to visualize things in a way that you can see it and understand, and my “water bottle” analogy is just that.

Imagine that we’re given one water bottle in our life, and that bottle represents our life. It’s filled with water, which is all the people and situations in our life. At the time those things may be purposeful in our life and best for our Highest Good, yet as time and life marches on, it changes. Suddenly you’re left wanting more, wanting something different or wanting to let go of certain people and situations.

But you can’t seem to do it, and that is the human nature of being afraid of change or of the unknown. We know what we need to leave behind yet we wonder what will happen if we let go. Will our life be worse or will it be better? Should we leave someone not knowing if someone better is waiting for us?

It’s a leap of faith in your Higher Power and in yourself.

I explained to her that at this time in her life her water bottle is filled with negativity, both with her job and personal life. I told her that unless she started emptying that water bottle of the negative she wouldn’t be able to fill it with anything new or more positive. She couldn’t replace the negative water until she poured it out and replaced it with the positive.

After all, you can’t put more water into a full bottle until you dump some water out.

And that is my analogy on letting go and moving forward.

Sometimes you have to visualize your life in a way that you can actually picture it, and the water bottle is simply one way to look at it.

Is your water bottle filled with all that is for your Highest Good or do you need to dump some of the water out so that the “good” water can be poured in?

It’s the same no matter how you look at it. When you keep the wrong people in your life or are in a situation that is not good for you then there’s no room for what’s in your best interest to come in.

I’ve been taught by my spiritual teachers throughout the years that you have to let go of that which no longer serves your Highest Good in order for something better to come in. Holding on to negativity in any way, shape or form will prevent anything better and more positive to come in.

Dump out your water bottle if your life isn’t the way you want it and fill it with all the good that the Universe has just waiting for you.

After all, I believe that once we rid ourselves of negativity, whether it’s people or situations, the world opens up with more positivity than we can imagine.

I know this for sure…

And it’s a good thing…

I promise.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“It’s Your Own Fault”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

~This is an excerpt from my new book, “My Collective Soul,” which will be released in Octover of 2017~

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We live in a time of blaming others for our shortcomings. It’s easier to blame someone else than to take our accountability for our actions. I see it all the time. People living less of the life they want and pointing the finger at everyone else. They blame others; they say it’s someone else’s fault; they don’t know how to stand in their own truth.

And they do that because it’s easier to blame someone else than to look in the mirror and claim our part in what makes us unhappy.

No one wants to look in the mirror. It’s the mirror of our face, our shortcomings, our faults, our weaknesses, yet what most people don’t understand is that it’s also the mirror of our strength, of our successes, of our truth.

Most people fear the mirror because they don’t always like what they see, yet what you see is what you can change, if you choose to. What we see is our soul and our heart and if you can’t come to terms to accept what you see, then you, my friends, have the right to change it.

You were gifted the ability to change in yourself and your life what you don’t like. If you look in the mirror and see a weakness then go out and strengthen it. If you look in the mirror and see your faults then change it and see your strengths. If you look in the mirror and see and ugly person then change it to make yourself beautiful, and I don’t mean in looks.

Our hearts dictate our beauty. Our hearts allow the outside world to see who we are. Our hearts are the keepers of our secrets, and they also hold the keeper of our truth.

Let it out.

Look in the mirror and yourself and see your beauty. See your strengths, see your accomplishments, see all that you endured, see your illness, see your broken marriage or relationship, see the pain and the hurt.

See it all…

And then look again.

Look at YOU.

Stare at yourself for as long as you need to.

And within a few minutes your face will look different; your demeanor will change; your soul and heart will start to break through the negative sight of what you see and show you the light.

Let it.

Let go.

And know that all that stuff that happened to you is simply that: stuff. Let it go. And accept that anything that happenened to you was meant to. It was a lesson from your Higher Power to stop and take a look at your life; to take a look at yourself.

We all have a hand in our life. We love to blame everyone else, yet it takes two people to argue; two to fight; two to find love and two to end it. It takes two people to have an affair and two people to join together in marriage.

Stop blaming and take a step back.

Look in that mirror, point the finger at yourself and say: “It’s your own fault.”

And then forgive yourself for not being perfect, because you’re not supposed to be. You’re supposed to be human. You’re supposed to make mistakes, and you’re supposed to learn from them.

You’re supposed to feel pain so that you can feel happiness.

You’re supposed to give freedom for your heart to break so that you can learn how to heal it.

You’re supposed to fail at some things so that you can succeed at what you were meant to.

You’re supposed to cry so that you can smile.

You’re supposed to end a relationship so that you can begin another one.

You’re supposed to be human.

You see, you are amazing. You are an incredible individual and no one else is like you. We all have faults and that’s okay because the right friend or partner will love you for them. We all fall and we all can get up and we can get up stronger.

We all can make a choice; we all can take a chance; we all can fall deep down to the bottom.

And you can choose to get up.

So pick yourself up and get it right. Straighten up and straighten up. You can do it because I have. I’ve fallen so deep throughout my life that I couldn’t see the sun. I’ve been so weak that I lost sight of what strength felt like. I felt so alone that I forgot what love was.

And then I looked in the mirror.

I looked long and hard, and at first I didn’t like what I saw.

But I kept looking.

And within a few minutes I saw a girl who was simply broken from all that life had handed her. I looked her hard straight in her eyes and saw something that she didn’t: her will.

I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be better, I wanted a different life.

I kept looking at this girl who had become a stranger to me and felt compassion for her, and in that moment I realized I was feeling compassion for myself.

So I forgave myself for everything.

I knew it was my fault because I allowed it all to happen.

But as I looked at her in the mirror I let it gave, told her I loved her, and changed my life in that moment, just like that.

She changed.

She became strong.

She believed in herself.

She loved herself.

And no matter what was her fault, she forgave it all.

And she forgave all the people that were a part of it.

And she cried tears of sadness as she let go and tears of happiness as she stood in her truth.

And all was right with her world.

And never again would she say “it’s your own fault” because she would never allow it to be.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Turning Off The World”

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turn off the world

It’s been a rough week for me, one filled with a mix of emotions, disappointments, hurt and feeling mentally and physically exhausted, yet I was able to get through the last week knowing that on Saturday morning my love and I were finally getting away for the night…a much needed 24 hours away, just us two. I’ve been wanting to do this for two months and we were there, at last.

It’s so important to reconnect with the one you love every so often, or as often as you can. Life is always happening, work calls, responsibilities, career changes and the list goes on. It keeps us busy and we lose focus on what’s important: each other and the care of the relationship.

And that’s what was happening to us.

So I had suggested a night away. It took two months to do it, but I booked a beautiful hotel with all the amenities we could want, which meant that we could check in and never have to leave until we checked out the next day.

My only request was that we turned off the phones, no texting, no messages, no emails, no television and definitely NO Facebook. In other words, I wanted to turn the world off.

And he agreed.

And we did it.

And it was a beautiful 24 hours of no distractions of any kind and our full attention was on each other. It worked out so well that when we got home the next day I suggested that we keep it going until Monday morning, the day that I knew the real world had to come back into our life.

I realized an important thing in that 24 four hour period: that we all need to turn off and shut out the real world at times, and sometimes that time is as often as possible.

During those hours we had to focus on each other, because that’s all we had in that hotel room, and in the grand scheme of relationships, isn’t that all we have in the end…”each other?” Isn’t the relationship between two people important enough that we should never lose sight of? Shouldn’t the relationship be tended to as we do our garden…we care for it, feed it what it needs, and cut out the weeds?

Relationships need to be tended to and cared for just like a garden. When they feel fragile they need to be solidified. When they seem weak they need to be strengthened. And when they feel lost both people need to find each other…together.

It’s really a pretty simple concept, yet in the busy world, often times overlooked.

And I’m not that girl. I pay attention to the smallest and largest of detail and I’m protective of our relationship.

So these 24 hours were not just desperately needed, but absolutely necessary.

We had dinner together, sat for hours on the balcony under the moon and the stars sipping Sangria and just being alone together with no distractions of the outside world or anyone in it. There were no long conversations, a rare thing for me, but in my mind I wanted to leave my troubles behind and just “be” on this balcony with him.

I realized that it was the first time in more months than I could count that we were truly alone with no distractions, and as the hours passed we seemed to find each other again, over and over.

And it was comforting.

So here I am on Monday morning opening my life up back to the world. It already feels in the enddifferent yet I know this to be true: you can run but you can’t hide, and this is “life.”

The lesson I learned in this is that the real world always exists, but it’s important to turn it off as often as you can and forget about the distractions.

In the end there is nothing more important than the love you share together as a couple and never allowing the outside world to distract you from what’s truly important and what truly matters: each other. After all, “love is what lifts you up when life tries to bring you down.”

I can promise you that it’s worth it in the end; after all, it’s not the distractions that are important, it’s the relationship between you and the one you love.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“The Lost Art of Loyalty”

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

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 While I was in Malibu a few years ago finishing up my book, “Waking Up,” I was working on a short story about “loyalty.” I asked many people what it meant to them, and it soon became a topic that no one had a definitive answer for. In fact, a few people were annoyed when I asked their opinion; seemed it stuck in their mind and made them search for an answer; an answer that they could never find.

It also made them question the people in their life…and it made me question those in mine as well.

So what is loyalty? Does it have a different meaning for everyone? Do we make our own rules as to what loyalty is or is there a universal rule?

I start with my own loyalty. If you’re in my life and I love and care for you, I’ll always be loyal, unless you cross a boundary, in which case, I won’t strike back and become disloyal to you, I’ll simply walk away. 

Next is the loyalty of those in my life. In healthy relationships of any kind, boundaries must bad bosses 1be set for respect between each person. What bothers one person in the relationship may not bother another, yet communicating that to each other is key in the loyalty department. If you cross a boundary with someone in your life, you’ve just proved that you’re not loyal. 

You see, “loyalty” is a tough one. The only answer I could get out of most people I spoke to about it was when they referenced the loyalty of a dog. A dog will always be loyal, yet my question made many wonder why humans can’t be the same.

We can, that is, if we choose to.

My loyalty lies with my love, my children and my closest of friends. And that loyalty goes beyond me; if you hurt those I love, my loyalty will have me walk out of your life as well. It doesn’t matter who you are. 

Not many people are willing to do that. Many feel that it’s not their problem when someone hurts the ones’ you love; as long as they weren’t disloyal it’s okay. But is it? If someone intentionally hurts your child, or your spouse or significant other, why would you want to be a part of their life? 

I think that’s where the confusion lies. I’ve been in that position before, where my loyalty was tested. It was a rough road between two people I care about, yet when push came to shove, my loyalty was with my love, not with the person who was hurting him. And I had to step out of that world with that other person, because my loyalty and my life is around him. Yes, feelings are hurt when you have to walk away from someone, yet in the end, it’s the right thing to do.

At least for me it was.

I know what loyalty is to me, and I won’t settle for anyone in my life being less loyal to me. We attract what we put out there, and for anyone that knows me, they know I have their back. They know I’ll walk through fire for them, defend them, honor them, love them, protect them, and more importantly, I will walk away from anyone who hurts them. End of story.

“Loyalty” is much more than how you treat someone; it’s also about how other’s treat the people in your life and whether or not you accept that behavior. The choice is yours.

Is “loyalty” a lost art or have we forgotten the importance of it?

“Loyalty” is one of the strongest qualities in any relationship because it breeds trust and respect, and isn’t that what every good relationship should be built on?

Think about it.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

loyalty

“Lost In Your Life”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

 

lost timeline

Every so often life throws us a curveball, one which we didn’t see coming. And suddenly we find ourselves feeling lost, feeling that we can’t get a handle on something, and feeling out of control with our emotions.

I understand those feelings well, and the situations that cause them happen unexpectedly and without warning. Just when our life is going smoothly and we’re moving forward we find ourselves in the middle of a storm of emotions that we don’t know how to handle.

And we suddenly find ourselves standing still and feeling stuck.

So what do you do when this happens? How do you “get a handle” on everything happening around you?

You stop for a moment and breathe.

You may feel as though the world around you is spinning out of control, yet you need to understand that it is “life” happening, whether it’s good or bad. Life is happening to teach you a lesson or change your perspective. Life is happening because that’s what “life” does. It moves forward, whether you’re ready or not, and it can be filled with both happiness and sadness. And that is life.

Those unexpected curveballs leave you feeling lost and out of control, feeling as though you can’t get a handle on what’s going on around and within you. But you can, and I can promise you that you will…it just takes time.

And it takes looking at the happiness that surrounds you. Look around at  those that love you and care for you; look at the person who is always there for you, through good and bad; look at the big picture of your life and be grateful for it. Don’t lose sight of the important people in your life: embrace them and be grateful to have them. They are the ones who will be there when you’re feeling lost and out of control. They are the ones you can lean on for support and love. They are the ones who love you unconditionally.

“Feeling lost” doesn’t last forever; in fact, I’ve found that the times I felt most lost were the times I was actually finding myself.

Be kind to yourself during these moments in your life and let those that love you help you through. Everything will be alright.

I promise.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

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“There’s Strength In The Tears”

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

I’ve had many people tell me how strong I am and I always wondered why they thought that. After all, I had bad days, sad days, and days of crying for no reason and every reason. Was this being strong? I didn’t think so until a few years ago when I changed my perspective on tears and what they meant.

Tears are our soul’s way of releasing the pain, the pleasure and the emotion built up within us. Tears cleanse our soul of those feelings so that we can again move on with our life. Tears are simply a moment in time that was necessary for our Highest Good.strength and tears

My cousin is a strong woman, the one I call “the gypsy.” I’ve seen her cry and heard her ask me how people could think she was so strong? Well, a few years ago I would have given her a different answer, but on that day I told her she was strong, especially since she knew that there were moments when she knew she had to cry, and she was strong enough to allow herself to cry.

I believe that your strength is in knowing yourself well enough to know that you have to shed a tear or two, or a thousand. Your strength is allowing yourself the time it takes to release your emotions and knowing that you need to do this for yourself.

And your strength is picking yourself up, wiping the tears from your face, and moving forward. Your strength is knowing that you’ve released all that you needed to for that moment and knew it was time to smile again.

That is strength.

Strength is knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and willing to be who you are despite the opinions of anyone else.

Strength is knowing when you need a day to cry, to feel emotions, to miss someone, to want someone, to lose someone. Your strength is within you and the tears you release are merely the soul’s way of helping you through your pain and sadness.

Cry if you need to and cry if you want to… after all, “it won’t be like this forever, just for today!”

And after you’re done, smile, smile, smile!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Which Path Do I Choose?”

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There are times in my life that I find myself standing at the crossroad of which path to choose. It happens just as life is going along calmly, and it happens to change my path, offer me a new opportunity or simply to shake things up. It happens because something in my life needs to change, and while the change may be difficult, it’s necessary to move forward, take the next step, and live a better life.

I’m right at that point now. My career as a writer is taking me in directions I never thought possible and with these changes are decisions to be made in my life. I’m conscious of my life and the life that surrounds me. I pay attention to the signs I’m given by the Universe and I feel the emotions necessary to feel when faced with differences of opinions in my private life.

There are moments when the page we were once on together in a relationship change…one person stays on the same page while the other turns it. It doesn’t mean the end of the relationship but it brings change and sometimes the change isn’t what we had wanted but becomes a change of what was needed.

“Do I take the road known or the one less travelled and follow my heart?”road less travelled

I never take the road known because it offers me nothing more than the same thing over and over. I will always follow my heart and take the road less travelled because I trust my Higher Power, the Universe, and more importantly, I trust my intuition.

So I sit here now, thinking about the life I’m living in now and wondering what changes need to happen. What decisions need to be made? What do I need to do to move forward? How do my loved ones and I get back on the same page?

Life is changing for me and some of those changes can be a bit scary, especially when I don’t know how they’ll change my life, yet I have to trust my Higher Power and listen to my inner voice…my intuition. I need to pay attention to the life and people that surround me. I need to focus on myself first and believe that everything else will fall into place.

After all, I believe that “everything happens as it should, when it should and how it should.”

I don’t have all the answers to the questions, or even know what changes need to be made right now, but I do know which path to take and today is the first day of this new journey.

And I believe that it will be an amazing adventure.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Photo by EvnFlo Photography – 2017

 

 

 

“Write Your Life”

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“Life is always changing, it’s time to turn the page; so the story continues and it’s mine to create. It’s all an adventure, my life is a song; I know where I’ve been, not where I’m going but I’m dancing along.”  ~Anne Dennish~

My life has been a series of ups and downs, adventures and restlessness, good times and bad, yet through it all I’ve accepted that it was meant to be that way. All those moments happened to teach me a lesson. They happened because I wasn’t living my life as I should and there’s times that the Universe steps in and whacks us with a two by four to “wake us up.” It stops us dead in our tracks to feel the pain and understand why it hurts. After all, we feel what we allow.

And when pain and heartache happen it’s because we allowed the behaviors that led up to that moment happen. We allowed someone to cross our boundaries and treat us in a way we shouldn’t be treated.

We lost sight of ourselves and in the process of caring for everyone else we forgot to care for ourself. We forgot to love ourself first, to respect ourself, to take care of ourself, and when other’s see that we’ve forgotten that, they cross our boundaries.

We have to draw a line in the sand that shouldn’t be crossed, yet maybe we should be drawing a line in the cement.

Broken hearts and pain don’t happen overnight. Sure, we feel blindsided when it happens yet when it does you begin to look at the behaviors that led up to it and suddenly you’re not so surprised or shocked that someone hurt you. You let them disrespect you long before they hurt you; you let them love you less than you loved yourself because their ego was larger than their heart; and you began to blame yourself and made excuses for them.

Losing sight of yourself and seeing only them strengthens their ego and robs you of your self-esteem.

But there’s hope in the heartache and purpose in the pain.

The hope is that the broken heart will mend stronger and the purpose in the pain is to teach you a lesson about yourself. It’s to bring the focus back onto “you.”

Life is always changing and the change is up to you. Your life is your story and you are the author. You create what you want.

Write your story well and if you need to make some edits along the way be sure they’re for your Highest Good.

It’s your story…

It’s your life…

Make it spectacular!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~