“Time To Shift”

When you replace “why is this happening to me” with “what is this trying to teach me?” everything shifts.

And that’s truth.

So often we find ourselves in situations that upset us and our first thought is always “why is this happening to me?”

And the answer is always the same: “Life is trying to teach you something about yourself.”

Now the work begins. You need to look long and hard at the situation and think about how and why it happened.

Did someone say something hurtful to you? Did someone make you cry? Did someone point a finger of blame at your for being who you are?

If the answer to any of these questions is “yes” then you need to still your mind, take a deep breath and ask yourself “why?”

And the answer to this is always the same: “Because you let them.”

You let them treat you less than your worth.

And what you allow will continue.

It always does.

And that’s what the situation is about. It’s not randomly happening TO YOU, it’s happening FOR YOU…the Universe is trying to teach you a life lesson. It’s asking you the tough questions: “Why would you let someone treat you like that?”

Most of us don’t know how to answer that except to make excuses for their bad behavior. It’s having a false hope that it won’t happen again and that they really didn’t mean it. It’s a false hope of believing that the person will change. It’s a false hope that they’ll say they’re sorry and mean it.

I’ve been in that position more times in this lifetime than I can count but I’ve grown as a person, become stronger, and believe that those moments of pain and heartache aren’t my fault. After all, no one does anything intentionally to another human being in the hopes that they’ll hurt you. Yet, it happens and I’ve learned that it’s happened because of their feelings, not mine. It could be their insecurities coming through, or it could simply be that they truly meant what they said. Only that person can answer that question.

And only you can answer the question of why you let it happen.

And only you can figure out the lesson it was trying to teach you.

Most often times those situations happen to remind us that we’re important, that we count, and that we are valuable.

They happen to remind us to love ourselves more, to be kind to ourselves and respect ourselves.

And they happen to remind us that we should always be kind, and if we can’t then we should be quiet. They remind us that no one should treat another human being badly, not matter the excuse or reason for the bad behavior. They remind us that we all have a heart and soul that can be easily broken, and when another human being breaks them it takes time and effort for the healing to begin.

And the healing begins with YOU when you understand the lesson that life hit you with.

And only you can change the situation.

And only you can stop allowing those experience to happen.

Forget about “why this is happening to you” and shift your focus and energy to “what is this trying to teach me?”

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

what is this trying to teach me

“Strength And Weakness”

I wrote this quote many years ago near the end of my 20 year marriage. As I began to heal physically and emotionally from all the turmoil of that, I realized that it was at my moments of anxiety, sadness or depression that he became strong. At first I thought he was showing true signs of kindness, yet in time I realized what was really happening: I was feeding his ego and he was starving my self-esteem. He felt like “the big man” helping the poor, defenseless, broken woman. The woman HE broke. The woman he was abusive to; the woman he told over and over again was stupid and ugly; the woman he told would never be loved by anyone.

And I believed him…until I stopped believing him.

Are you wondering how I stopped believing all that negative stuff he had embedded into my brain? I woke up. I realized that I had allowed him the freedom to treat me that way. I allowed him to speak down to me and allowed him to be disrespectful to me. So, one day I woke up and stopped allowing it, and when I did that the marriage was done and over with.

I went through years of healing myself mentally and emotionally, and of course it was with the help of many spiritual teachers and a wonderful tribe of true friends that I was able to. I’m grateful for each and every one of them.

I learned so much about myself and that loving myself first was the answer to preventing anyone anyone from treating me that way. You’d think it would never happen again, yet I’m human; we’re all human. Sometimes life brings you back to an experience that you thought you had learned the lessons from, yet life knows when you forget the lesson. And the Universe will put a similar experience back into your way until you wake up and realize that what you stopped allowing years ago, you’re allowing once again.

Even after that divorce I would find myself meeting someone whose ego was strengthened by my weakness, and for those that know me, they know I’m anything but weak. It would sporadically happen here and there throughout the years, yet now I’m much more able to recognize it when it’s happening. I’ve learned that those people lack control of their own life so they try and control mine; they lack self-respect and are unable to respect anyone else; they don’t feel strong unless they’re paired up with someone weak.

And I am no longer that girl.

I want to be treated the way I deserve and the way that I treat others: with love, kindness, compassion, consideration and loyalty, and I won’t settle for anything less. I want to be loved for the person I am, quirks and all, because I love the person that I’ve become.

We all have moments of feeling weak and that’s okay; it’s those moments that help us to find our strength again and stand back up on our feet even stronger.

We all have moments of finding ourselves back in a situation that we thought would never return and that’s okay; you’re given that situation to remind you of the lesson you forgot.

And we all find ourselves staring into the mirror, looking at ourselves and wondering how we got here and what happened to us, and that’s okay; keep looking in that mirror long enough and you’ll once again see the person you thought was lost.

It’s those moments of feeling lost that we’re actually finding ourselves again, and we’re finding an even better and stronger version of the person we once were.

Life is about balance and we all fall out of balance every so often. It’s when the world around us is spinning out of control that we see the truth of everything, and it’s in those moments that we find our balance again.

Don’t let anyone make you feel weak; surround yourself with people that make you feel strong.

Don’t spend your precious time feeding someone’s ego; spend your time feeding your self-esteem.

And don’t rely on anyone loving you the way you want to be loved; love yourself that way first and the rest will fall into place.

Everything in your life begins with YOU.

Stop allowing what you don’t want to continue.

Forgive yourself when you forgot a lesson you learned and continue moving forward.

And love yourself.

If you do nothing else, love yourself.

Anything and everything is possible if you begin with love.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~strength and weakness

 

“Do You Know Your Value?”

value yourself
 

Everything begins with you…and I can’t say that often enough to you. There are moments even I have to remind myself of that.

And those moments seem to come when we place more value on others than we do on ourselves, and when that happens, well, everything hits the fan!

We find ourselves seeing the true colors of friends; we see that they weren’t who we thought they were; and when that happens we find ourselves feeling betrayed, hurt and angry. We wonder why they couldn’t be as loyal to us as we were to them; we wonder why they turned their back on us; we wonder why they crossed our boundaries of friendship.

We wonder what happened, why things went the way they did, and what did it all mean…in other words, we want to know WHY it happened.

No one can control another; no one can make another loyal and trusting to you; no one can make someone love them.

We can only control ourselves.

And that’s a great power to have: the power to make decisions that are best for YOU!

You see, you lost sight of how valuable you are; you valued someone else so much that you forgot to value yourself; you placed way too much importance on someone who hurt you.

If you can’t see how valuable you are, how do you expect anyone else to?

It all begins with you.

Walk away from those who bring you down; wish them love and light, be grateful for the lessons it taught you, and move forward.

Let go of the negative people you’ve allowed in your bubble and make room for the positive people to come in.

Know your value…know your worth.

It’s a good thing!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Those Waking Up Moments”

“It takes but one moment in your life that you find yourself waking up.”
~Anne Dennish~

 

“Waking Up” was the title of my last book and of the song I wrote to go with it. It was born out of my journey with breast cancer when a nurse asked me on my last day of treatment how the experience affected me. My answer was quick: “It woke me up.”

And it sure did.

But you don’t need to go through an illness to “wake up” to your life and how you’re living it.

I believe we all have those moments of “waking up” in which we see a situation differently…we see it with open eyes and more clarity. We see the truth. We see what’s working in our life and what isn’t. We see who belongs in our bubble and who doesn’t.

And then we have the choice to change it.

I’ve been going through a few “waking up” moments myself and while there are moments of sadness in what needs to be changed, there’s many more moments of happiness because of the change.

“Waking up” moments bring us life lessons to be learned so that we can live our life to the fullest and for our Highest Good.

Change isn’t always easy but I can promise you that it will always be worth it.

Because “YOU” are worth it!

Know the value of who you are…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

it takes but one moment

“Opening the Right Door”

Did you ever wake up one morning only to realize that the situation or relationship you’re currently in just isn’t working? What was so wonderful for a time no longer holds those feelings; the good times are replaced with stress and drama, hurt and heartache.

We’ve all had a moment or two of that, yet what do we do?

We know that we want more and we deserve more, and we still hold onto the hope that the situation or relationship will change…but it doesn’t.

It’s served its’ time, taught you some lessons and made you realize that you were settling, and truth be told, it was holding you back.

There’s always some pain at the loss of something you thought was the right thing, yet I’m here to tell you that once you heal and get past those emotions, the world opens doors for you that you didn’t even know were closed.

Keeping negative things in your life, no matter what or who it is, will always keep out the good things just waiting to come into your life.

Love yourself enoughto know that you deserve all good things; wish the situation or person that you need to walk away from lots of love and light, and thank them for all that they taught you.

And let the next door open wide for you!

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

door

“My Strength Is Their Weakness”

strength and weakness

I wrote that quote many years ago near the end of my 20 year marriage. As I began to heal physically and emotionally from all the turmoil of that, I realized that it was at my moments of anxiety, sadness or depression that he became strong. At first I thought he was showing true signs of kindness, yet in time I realized what was really happening: I was feeding his ego and he was starving my self-esteem.  He felt like “the big man” helping the poor, defenseless, broken woman. The woman HE broke. The woman he was abusive to; the woman he told over and over again was stupid and ugly; the woman he told would never be loved by anyone.

And I believed him…until I stopped believing him.

Are you wondering how I stopped believing all that negative stuff he had embedded onto my brain? I woke up. I realized that I had allowed him free reign over me for many years and that by doing that, the behavior continued. I allowed him to speak down to me and allowed him to be disrespectful to me.  So, one day I woke up and stopped allowing it, and the marriage was done and over with.

I went through years of healing myself mentally and emotionally, and of course it was with the help of many spiritual teachers and a wonderful tribe of true friends.

I learned so much about myself and that loving myself first was the answer to not allowing anyone else to treat me that way. You’d think it would never happen again, yet I’m human; we’re all human. Sometimes life brings you an experience that you thought you had learned the lessons from…yet life knows when you forget the lesson. And the Universe will put a similar experience back into your way until you wake up and realize that what you stopped allowing years ago, you’re allowing once again.

Even after that divorce I would find myself meeting someone whose ego was strengthened by my weakness, and for those that know me, they know I’m anything but weak. It would sporadically happen here and there throughout the years, yet know I’m much more able to recognize it when it’s happening. I’ve learned that those people lack control of their own life so they try and control mine; they lack self-respect and are unable to respect anyone else; they don’t feel strong unless they’re paired up with someone weak.

And I am no longer that girl.

I want to be treated the way I deserve and the way that I treat others: with love, kindness, compassion, consideration and loyalty. And I won’t settle for anything less. I want to be loved for the person I am, quirks and all, because I love that person that I’ve become.

We all have moments of feeling weak and that’s okay; it’s those moments that help us to find our strength again and stand back up on our feet even stronger.

We all have moments of finding ourselves back in a situation that we thought would never return and that’s okay; you’re given that situation to remind you of the lesson you forgot.

And we all find ourselves staring into the mirror, looking at ourselves and wondering how we got here and what happened to us, and that’s okay; keep looking in that mirror long enough and you’ll once again see the person you thought was lost.

It’s those moments of feeling lost that we’re actually finding ourselves again, and we’re finding an even better and stronger version of the person we once were.

Life is about balance and we all fall out of balance every so often. It’s when the world around us is spinning out of control that we see the truth of everything, and it’s those moments we find our balance again.

Don’t let anyone make you feel weak; surround yourself with people that make you strong.

Don’t spend your precious time feeding someone’s ego; spend your time feeding your self-esteem.

And don’t rely on anyone loving you the way you want to be loved; love yourself that way first and the rest will fall into place.

Everything in your life begins with YOU.

Stop allowing what you don’t want to continue.

Forgive yourself when you forgot a lesson you learned and get back on track.

And love yourself.

If you do nothing else, love yourself.

Everything is possible when you begin with love.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Getting Your Balls Back”

I once put two brass balls in a plastic bag and gave them to my girlfriend. I told her that if I ever lost them again to give them back to me.

I was a different woman then than I am now when I went through my divorce. It was over 10 years ago and that woman I was seems so foreign to me now.

I remember that at that time I made many changes in my life; I had lost weight, been college booksworking out at the gym, and had gone back to college to take creative writing courses. I was invited by my professor, a published author as well, to join his writer’s workshop. It was the best time of my life, yet also the darkest time knowing that there was a divorce to go through.

Yet I was strong. All those things I was doing for “me” gave me the strength to endure a nasty divorce. I felt good about myself, I felt like my brain was functioning like a writer, not just a mom, and I was in great shape. I will always believe that my Higher Power had directed me to all those positive changes to make me stronger, because He knew what was just around the corner for me.working out

I thought at that time that my children would feel like their mother had “left the building” because I was doing a lot of things, good things, for me. Yet that wasn’t so. I remember them being so proud of me for all of it, and I realized that all the things I did for myself were making me a better “mom” to them. What a feeling and what a lesson to learn. Sometime we “mom’s” think that if we’re doing things for ourselves that our children will suffer. So not true. It made my relationship with my kids even stronger, and to hear them brag to their friends about their mom going back to school and writing a book was one of the best moments I ever experienced as their mother. My oldest son loved the fact that I was working out and used to joke with his friends that “they better watch out because my mom can beat you up!” So simple, yet so empowering.

And that’s when I realized and learned that doing good things for me isn’t selfish. It made me a stronger and better woman and mom, and all that good stuff spilled onto my kids.

Sadly, it didn’t spill onto my husband. He hated it all. I look back objectively now and see that he may have felt threatened that this woman he controlled for over 20 years suddenly had a mind and body all her own, and she did it without him. I actually did it because of him.

Everything happens for a reason and I look back at that time and truly believe that all those things I did for myself were put in my path to make me strong, because once the divorce process began, my world changed. And it was all that I did for myself that helped to get me through.

It was sad enough that the marriage had been abusive on all levels, yet the divorce was even worse. The details aren’t important but the outcome is: I’m a different woman now and living in a happy life with two of my five children and the love of my life.

Yet there were times I lost my strength during it. I was a single mom taking care of the mental and physical well being of five children; I was the woman dealing with lawyers and sitting through mediations, which were a waste of time. I was tired, lonely, and so wanting it to be over.

My serenity at that time was in the backyard of my girlfriend. I could shed my tears there, talk for as long as I needed, and could always count on her shoulder to cry on. I remember one day she looked at me and said “where’d your balls go? You’re such a strong woman but not now? You gotta find your balls again, girlfriend.”

And so I did. I put two of them in that bag and told her to give them back to me if I ever lost them again.

And I never did.

Well, to be honest, there are times I feel weak and ready to give up, but I always remember that bag of balls that she still has and that’s enough for me to get them back.

And I always do…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

brass balls 1

“The Lost Stars”

lost timeline

I think at one time in life or another, we feel lost. We lose our direction as to where we’re supposed to be and what we’re supposed to be doing. We lose focus, we lose balance, and for a brief time, we lose ourselves.

But we’re never really lost. In fact, we’re actually being found when we feel most lost.

And it’s you finding yourself.

What a gift that is to be lost. What a gift to work on finding yourself. What a gift it is to learn something new about yourself. Wow…what a gift!

I like to think that we’re like stars in the sky, twinkling bright one moment then hidden away by the clouds. Isn’t that what life is like sometimes? One minute we’re all that we can be until something happens to diminish it, and isn’t that the same as a cloud covering the twinkling of a star?

And here’s the best part: the clouds will move and the star will shine again, and that’s exactly how we are as human beings. We can’t always be perfect, and we can’t always shine, but when the cloud moves, there we are…the brightest star ever trying to light up the dark.

Feeling lost is similar to the cloud in front of the star; it’s only a moment or two that it lasts, but in the end, the star shines again and even brighter. Those moments of feeling lost are simply our cloud hiding our star, but a star is a forever, and so is your soul. A cloud will move on and move out; it will move across the sky and dissipate with time.

But the star has a light of its’ own, just like you. A star always burns bright, and while its’ twinkle and shine may get covered by a cloud, so will you. Your clouds are simply lessons to learn in life; they’re not meant to stay forever, just until you learn what you need to. And then it moves and so do you and you shine ever more brightly.

Try and look at a day when you feel lost as an adventure; you don’t know what’s coming next, you don’t know who will drop into your life, and you don’t know what opportunities are coming. Your light may be dimmed by this feeling, but if you can accept it as a gift, trust in the journey, believe in yourself and have faith in your Higher Power, you’ll find yourself again. Don’t worry about being lost; I can promise you that you will always be found,that the cloud will move and you will be left as a bright star who can light up the dark.

And I can promise you that you always be found!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

maroon 5 lost stars

“The Gypsy”

sunflower fields

I  believe that we all have an inner gypsy, and I’m missing mine these days. You know what I’m talking about, that “roll down the windows in the car, hair blowing in the wind, radio blaring, bare feet,  that free kind of feeling.” It’s your inner gypsy and mine has been silent for too long.

My inner gypsy is the girl who dances barefoot in the grass under the full moon, spinninggypsy in circles and releasing all that stuff that no longer serves her; it’s the girl who dances in public, no matter where she is; it’s the girl who flies by the seat of her pants some days, not knowing where she’s going to land; it’s the girl that takes a leap of faith and leaves a life behind to find a better one; it’s the girl who remembers how it feels to be happy and has the nerve to find her happiness again. It’s the girl who was brave enough to find herself again after she had been lost for so long.

I used to be a gypsy a long time ago. These days my “inner gypsy” has been tamed by life and responsibility, but someone came along that reminded me of what I had forgotten.  Sometimes all it takes is one person to come along and make you remember…

“She was embedded in a life for over a decade, yet a few months ago she suffered a loss in her life, and what she did after that shocked and surprised many of us…she left the life she was living. She packed her bags and moved far away, landing in a place surrounded by family and friends, and she never looked back. She woke up one day and realized that all she had in her life wasn’t nearly as much as what she wanted in her life.

She wanted something different; she wanted something new. She longed for excitement and yearned for a sense of peace. She wanted her freedom and the right to make her own choices. She wanted a different life and wanted to be the one in control of it.

And so she did…she left her old life behind and began a new one. She’s finding her joy and her happiness again, step by step, day by day. She embraces the sunshine of a cold winter day, walking and watching all that is around her. She drifts from place to place, landing among those she loves most. Every day brings something new to her and every day she seems to be happier. She found adventure again, and embraces each day and the endless possibilities it has to offer.  She’s a free-spirit in a realistic world and it suits her. She doesn’t settle for less, but searches for more. She doesn’t smile because she has to, but smiles because she wants to. Her happiness comes from within her, not from around her, and while her heart may still be a bit broken over the loss she suffered, she’s putting the pieces back together as only a gypsy can do: in her own way, in her own time.”

I’m blessed to know and love this gypsy; she made me remember a lot of things I had forgotten. She forced me to see beyond my own self and look inside for that “inner gypsy” I once knew. She allows me the privilege of sharing her “inner gypsy” with me and I’m grateful for that, because what I had forgotten she enabled me to remember.

Find your “inner gypsy” and embrace her for all that she taught you and all that she will…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

inner 1

“What Now?”

“Journey is over, the battle is won.A new chapter starting, a new day begun,

So what do I do now? Where do I start?

Do I take the road known or the one less travelled

Follow my heart.

 

Life is always changing,it’s time to turn the page,

Now the story continues

And it’s mine to create

So what do I do now? Where do I go?

Do I let my mind lead me backwards in time or move ahead slow?

 

What now with new beginnings

What now with the old life behind

What now that I’m starting over

With no clue, no reason, no rhyme.

 

Time to change my thinking

It’s time to lose the fear

The Universe is watching

That’s what brought me here

It’s all an adventure, my life is a song,

I know where I’ve been, not where I’m going

But I’m dancing along.”

I remember the day I wrote the story, which became these lyrics, in my book called “Waking Up.” It was my very last day of treatment for breast cancer, and as I said my good-bye’s to the nurses and staff, I felt a multitude of emotions.

I got in my car and started the long drive home. I felt happy, excited, relieved and a bit scared. All I kept thinking is “now what?” Now what do I do with my life? I had been on a breast cancer journey for over a year and a half, and suddenly it was over. The Cancer Institute had bid me farewell and sent me on my way. What now?

I thought “I know what the last year and a half with cancer was like, but what would it be like without it? Where do I begin to start over without it?”

And so I wrote the entry “What Now” in my breast cancer journal and a year later wrote these song lyrics.

But you know, this song isn’t just for my breast cancer journey; it’s a song for anyone starting over with a new beginning. It’s for anyone who is starting a new life. It’s for someone who has to learn to say “good-bye” to their past in order for the doors to the future to open.

It’s a song for you and a song for me…doors-to-past

It’s scary when something ends and is over, yet you need to find the excitement in the possibility of something even better coming into your life. I can promise you it always does when it’s meant to. Have faith in the Universe and have faith in yourself!

Embrace your day, embrace your new beginning, embrace this life that you are in control of.

The choice is yours…

And I know you’ve got this!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

Lyrics by Anne Dennish – Music and Vocals by Sutton Thomas Music copyright 2016