My apologies to all of you for my page having been so quiet, but life has a way of sneaking up on us and slowing us down…and that’s what happened to me in the last few weeks.
I had a few trips to the ER for a swollen Achilles tendon which put me on crutches and strict instructions to stay off my feet for a week or two. That was tough, I’ll admit, to have to sit with my foot elevated, watching mindless television day in and day out. I didn’t last a week or two, but a few days in my foot was feeling better.
Next was a beautiful family wedding on the beach which lasted for the weekend. My foot was feeling good enough to throw on low heels and dance with my love all night. The next morning I would find myself with a few numb toes and it was off to the ER yet again. This time it was torn ligaments and again, instructions to stay off my foot as much as possible.
In the midst of all of this I was getting my youngest back to junior year of high school and my other son off to college. They didn’t need much help but as a mom, I wanted to be there when they left for the day and here when they got home.
I was frustrated, to say the least, at having to say “no” to certain situations which I knew would take a toll on my healing foot. I was mad at myself for not heeding the strict instructions from the doctor. And I was suffering from a long “writers block.”
And then I began to realize that this was a test of patience, of will, and of strength. It was the Universe telling me to slow down, and it was “life” teaching me that I need to remember to “go with the flow.”
All too often we want to control our life and all that happens within it, and while that is certainly true at times, that we DO have control over our life, sometimes our life takes control of US when we’re not paying enough attention to what’s best for us; what’s best for our Highest Good.
And that’s what happened to me.
My foot is feeling better, my writers block is unblocking, and the house seems to be back in balance again. It was a rough road, but once I realized why it was all happening, I began to relax and accept what was and what will be once I do.
Sometimes life has to remind us to just “go with the flow.”
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
There are times in my life that I find myself standing at the crossroad of which path to choose. It happens just as life is going along calmly, and it happens to change my path, offer me a new opportunity or simply to shake things up. It happens because something in my life needs to change, and while the change may be difficult, it’s necessary to move forward, take the next step, and live a better life.
I’m right at that point now. My career as a writer is taking me in directions I never thought possible and with these changes are decisions to be made in my life. I’m conscious of my life and the life that surrounds me. I pay attention to the signs I’m given by the Universe and I feel the emotions necessary to feel when faced with differences of opinions in my private life.
There are moments when the page we were once on together in a relationship change…one person stays on the same page while the other turns it. It doesn’t mean the end of the relationship but it brings change and sometimes the change isn’t what we had wanted but becomes a change of what was needed.
“Do I take the road known or the one less travelled and follow my heart?”
I never take the road known because it offers me nothing more than the same thing over and over. I will always follow my heart and take the road less travelled because I trust my Higher Power, the Universe, and more importantly, I trust my intuition.
So I sit here now, thinking about the life I’m living in now and wondering what changes need to happen. What decisions need to be made? What do I need to do to move forward? How do my loved ones and I get back on the same page?
Life is changing for me and some of those changes can be a bit scary, especially when I don’t know how they’ll change my life, yet I have to trust my Higher Power and listen to my inner voice…my intuition. I need to pay attention to the life and people that surround me. I need to focus on myself first and believe that everything else will fall into place.
After all, I believe that “everything happens as it should, when it should and how it should.”
I don’t have all the answers to the questions, or even know what changes need to be made right now, but I do know which path to take and today is the first day of this new journey.
And I believe that it will be an amazing adventure.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Photo by EvnFlo Photography – 2017
We’re all a work in progress and there are times when life isn’t exactly the way we want
it and we have to ask ourselves “why?” No one can change us or fix a problem in our life; only we can do that. So today I ask you if there’s one thing you could change about yourself or your life, what would it be?
Please take a minute to think about it and post a comment…you may be giving someone else something to think about.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
I once put two brass balls in a plastic bag and gave them to my girlfriend. I told her that if I ever lost them again to give them back to me.
I was a different woman then than I am now when I went through my divorce. It was over 10 years ago and that woman I was seems so foreign to me now.
I remember that at that time I made many changes in my life; I had lost weight, been 
working out at the gym, and had gone back to college to take creative writing courses. I was invited by my professor, a published author as well, to join his writer’s workshop. It was the best time of my life, yet also the darkest time knowing that there was a divorce to go through.
Yet I was strong. All those things I was doing for “me” gave me the strength to endure a nasty divorce. I felt good about myself, I felt like my brain was functioning like a writer, not just a mom, and I was in great shape. I will always believe that my Higher Power had directed me to all those positive changes to make me stronger, because He knew what was just around the corner for me.
I thought at that time that my children would feel like their mother had “left the building” because I was doing a lot of things, good things, for me. Yet that wasn’t so. I remember them being so proud of me for all of it, and I realized that all the things I did for myself were making me a better “mom” to them. What a feeling and what a lesson to learn. Sometime we “mom’s” think that if we’re doing things for ourselves that our children will suffer. So not true. It made my relationship with my kids even stronger, and to hear them brag to their friends about their mom going back to school and writing a book was one of the best moments I ever experienced as their mother. My oldest son loved the fact that I was working out and used to joke with his friends that “they better watch out because my mom can beat you up!” So simple, yet so empowering.
And that’s when I realized and learned that doing good things for me isn’t selfish. It made me a stronger and better woman and mom, and all that good stuff spilled onto my kids.
Sadly, it didn’t spill onto my husband. He hated it all. I look back objectively now and see that he may have felt threatened that this woman he controlled for over 20 years suddenly had a mind and body all her own, and she did it without him. I actually did it because of him.
Everything happens for a reason and I look back at that time and truly believe that all those things I did for myself were put in my path to make me strong, because once the divorce process began, my world changed. And it was all that I did for myself that helped to get me through.
It was sad enough that the marriage had been abusive on all levels, yet the divorce was even worse. The details aren’t important but the outcome is: I’m a different woman now and living in a happy life with two of my five children and the love of my life.
Yet there were times I lost my strength during it. I was a single mom taking care of the mental and physical well being of five children; I was the woman dealing with lawyers and sitting through mediations, which were a waste of time. I was tired, lonely, and so wanting it to be over.
My serenity at that time was in the backyard of my girlfriend. I could shed my tears there, talk for as long as I needed, and could always count on her shoulder to cry on. I remember one day she looked at me and said “where’d your balls go? You’re such a strong woman but not now? You gotta find your balls again, girlfriend.”
And so I did. I put two of them in that bag and told her to give them back to me if I ever lost them again.
And I never did.
Well, to be honest, there are times I feel weak and ready to give up, but I always remember that bag of balls that she still has and that’s enough for me to get them back.
And I always do…
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
There are times in my life when I feel like I’m on the outside looking in and I know in my heart that it’s okay to feel that way, because:
“Sometimes you need to step outside of your life in order to see what’s inside of it”.
Do you ever find yourself getting lost in the midst of your day to day routine? Getting lost among your loved ones, finding yourself wondering who you are anymore? Are you a mom, a wife, a “life partner?” And where are “you?” Where did you go?
It’s not a conscious decision to be on the outside. It just happens. One day you wake up and don’t feel like yourself; you feel like you’re “on the outside looking in.” At least for me that’s how it happens. And there’s no time frame for it; you feel that way for as long as it takes to see and learn what you need to, and it could be a day or two, or longer.
Sometimes amidst the routine of loving and caring for my nearest and dearest I suddenly find myself wondering where I went to…where am I in all this. It seems like everything is about everybody else, but not me.
I feel like no one notices me unless they need something, and tempers are shortened when I’m not doing what I should be…for them. I spoiled them by doing it all, and I love doing it all, but I also love being loved and cared for by THEM. I want them to spoil me just a bit, I want them to notice my feelings, I want them to reassure me of their love and commitment to me as much as I do to them. I don’t want to be taken for granted.
Yet on the other hand, I believe that being on the “outside” is most often times the only way we can observe our life; it’s the one way we can be objective by looking in from the outside at each person and each situation; it’s the best way we can see what is or isn’t and learn from it.
It’s the best way to see ourselves objectively.
And that’s when the lessons are learned.
We observe the behavior of others towards us; we see how they’re treating us and how we’re reacting to it. We see what the truth of our relationships are and what they aren’t. We see our strengths and our weaknesses, and we can see whether or not we’re speaking our truth.
Often times we find ourselves on the outside when we’re holding too much inside; we’re not speaking our truth for fear of the outcome. It’s that fear thing holding us back and keeping us on the outside.
I’m looking from the outside at all the excitement everyone around me is having; new adventures, exciting opportunities, and movement, yet I’m not a part of it. I’m here, in a life of laundry and cooking, responsibility and reality.
I’m looking at this girl I once knew who had one adventure after another, more excitement than she knew what to do, and an appetite for life and all it had to offer. Life slowed down on her, and she stepped back and she stepped into solitude; the woman who’s life revolves around every one else’s became invisible to those she loved most.
Yet, it was her fault. She allowed it, she contributed to it, and by not speaking her truth, those around her never knew how she was feeling. She had hoped that they would; but they didn’t. And I guess in the end, it doesn’t matter, because that’s what being on the outside is about, and she knows that it’s up to her to get back to the inside.
So, here I sit on the outside, observing, making decisions, and making big changes. I want those adventures again; I want to feel the excitement of my passion again; I want to be me again.
And so I will. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even being on the outside, and once I get back to the inside I feel that my life will be even better than it is now.
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Photo by Anne Dennish – copyright 2017
It’s going to get a bit crazy here today at the Jersey Shore: we’ve got a blizzard coming tonight into tomorrow, with promises of over a foot or more of snow! The roads and stores are packed with people trying to stock up on food and batteries; all the necessities when you’re “snowed in” and have the possibility of losing power.
Yet as I look out my window this morning, the sky is blue and the sun is shining brightly with no hint of a storm approaching. It’s the typical “calm before the storm.” There’s still a hint of snow on the ground from our small snow storm last week, and I have to say, it looks beautiful with the sun shining upon it. Last night the full, orange moon rose above the trees and illuminated the white stuff on the ground. It looked magical!
That’s the thing, you can find magic and miracles everywhere, even in the midst of a blizzard coming…you just have to keep your eyes open.
I know it may get a bit rough here when the storm hits, yet I know that being snowed in with the ones I love so much isn’s such a bad thing, in fact, it’s a rare occasion that we’ll all be here together at the same time. And should we lose power? Well, there’s always conversation around the fireplace.
Keep your eyes open today…look around. You’ll be surprised at what you can see with an open mind and heart. Change your perspective on what seems to be a bother and watch how it becomes a blessing!
For those of you in the path of this storm, I’ll be keeping you in my prayers to stay safe!
Wishing you love, light, magic and miracles,
~Anne Dennish~
Photo by Anne Dennish – copyright 2017
Today I celebrate the one year anniversary publication date of my book, “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer.”
I began writing it during my journey with breast cancer. It began as a book of my quotes, which eventually turned into short stories, the topics of which are many: love, family, children, addiction, sexuality, relationships and more. Each story was based on my own personal experience or that of someone close to me, and yes, they’re all true stories.
As I began to put the book together to send to the publisher, I had a last minute thought, which would prove to be the most helpful to some people: I included my breast cancer journal. It was an up-close, personal and very intimate look into my journey with breast cancer.
It took over two years to write “Waking Up,” and when writer’s block was slowing me 
down as I neared the end to finish it, a friend offered me the use of her Malibu beach house. I took advantage of the offer and went out there in October of 2015, spending a week writing the last few stories of the book. I had no distractions while there, unless you count my view of the ocean, which was sitting at the bottom of the steps of the house. It was a dream come true to be on the water, watching the waves, listening to the sounds, and being able to walk the beach under a beautiful sunlit sky everyday. I miss that house so much, yet the memories of that time there remain. The last story I wrote for my book was written on the deck of that house and it’s called “Voice of the Ocean.” I finished my book, packed my bags, wrote my name in the sand of that Malibu beach and flew home.
The cancer journey ended, but the book hadn’t. It took another year to complete it, and while I was frustrated over the time it was taking, I knew that there was a reason why. I’d find out that reason in February of 2015 when I met the love of my life. He has been my inspiration and my muse ever since, and many of the stories are born out of our love for one another and all that I’ve learned since I met him. You can see why I believe so strongly that “everything happens as it should, when it should, and how it should.”
“Waking Up” was published one year ago today, and of all the things I’ve written over the years, this was truly my most valued piece. What started as a book of quotes turned into something different, yet my intention was always the same: to make a difference in someone’s life. And judging by responses I’ve received during the last year, I’d say that I did.
Thank you to all of you who have supported “Waking Up” throughout the last year! It means the world to me and I couldn’t have done it without you!
Reach for the stars, catch your dreams, and live your life to the fullest!
Dreams really do come true…and that I can promise you!
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
Copies of “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer” can be purchased online at BarnesandNoble.com, Amazon.com and in most Barnes & Noble stores.
It took having breast cancer to realize just how precious and precarious life really is. I thought I valued every day of my life until I was diagnosed with something that stopped me in my tracks…cancer. Suddenly, I valued every single minute of every single day. I began to realize just how lucky I was and things I took for granted were now becoming blessings to me.
When you’re going through chemo you have to be careful of chemical cleaners, people who are sick, including your own children, your pets, what you’re breathing, what you’re eating, what kinds of cancer causing chemicals are in your make-up, your shampoo, and the list goes on. I never thought I would miss the mundane things like spring cleaning, but I did. And one of the biggest things I missed was not being able to walk barefoot on the sand or put my toes in the water because if I got a cut it could be serious.
So you can see why I appreciate everything about my life, the good and the bad; it’s because I’ve learned that nothing should ever be taken for granted and that I’m blessed to have this life.
Cancer taught me those things, yet in the last year or two, and in the last several months, it’s all changed again. My family and I have been affected by the loss of loved ones and the diagnosis’ of life changing illnesses. It’s’ been quite a couple of months, yet we’re all here, together, weathering the good days and the bad ones together.
I never thought I could appreciate life or the lives of my loved ones more than I already did, but I’m here to tell you that I do. My life and theirs have become incredibly precious to me and I know first-hand that we never know about tomorrow…we only know about today.
There is no waiting for “someday,” because that’s never promised and I’ve realized that more than ever. I dislike when anyone says “I’ll do it someday, we’ll do it someday, maybe someday,” Actually, I hate to hear that, especially since I’ve lost loved ones very close to me in the last few years that looked forward to “someday.” They never knew that on that last day of their life, their “someday” was gone.
I don’t wait for “someday” anymore, because there is no “someday, only today,” and today is a gift to me every morning that I wake up to see it. Every day is a gift to live my life to the fullest, love as hard as I can, and laugh at every chance I get.
Tomorrow is never promised and yesterday is already gone, so why wait for “someday” to come, when you can live every day of your life as if your “someday” is today?
Don’t miss out on something great because you’re waiting for something better to come “someday;” don’t miss out on a lifetime of love because you’re waiting for the “right time for it someday;” don’t miss out on an adventure or an opportunity or a dream because you thought the best timing for it would be “someday.” There’s no time like the present, and that will be gone by tomorrow.
Don’t live your life waiting for “someday” to come; live your life as if someday is “today.”
And today, more than ever, I appreciate my life because today I am a
“3 year breast cancer survivor!”
Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~
*This is a song I wrote called “What Now.” I wrote the story on the last day of my treatment, wondering what come’s next after cancer. The story is in my book, “Waking Up,” which inspired me to write the song. It was about the end of my cancer, yet it can be for anyone who is changing their life and starting over. I hope you enjoy it! I have to say, it’s one of my favorites!
It’s that time of year again: flu and cold season! Not one of my favorites, yet one I feel that can happen to us for a reason. And that reason is usually that we lost sight of taking care of ourselves.
And that’s when the Universe steps in and “whacks you with a two by four!”
I consider myself “whacked.” It started with aches and pains, then progressed into a burning in the back of my throat. By the time I went to sleep was nose was completely stuffed up and I became the ultimate “mouth breather” throughout the night. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep too well that night. And it’s safe to say without a doubt, “I’m sick.”
I know it could be worse; social media is awash with posts of the flu and colds and the duration of anywhere from a week to two or three. I can safely add my own experience to these posts as well. People are posting advice of cures and things to do to get through, and I can say that I’ve been trying them all.
For two days I’ve been drinking warm water with lemon, which helps to soothe the throat, and tons of green tea with honey and lemon to get rid of the cold. Chicken soup with tons of garlic has become a staple here. A jar of Vicks, an old home remedy from my grandmother, 
sits on my nightstand, as well as a now half-full box of tissues. I’ve tried over-the-counter medicine at night, which seemed to help, but what helped more was a nice hot toddy: 8 oz. of herbal tea with 2 oz. of whiskey or rum, as well as a lemon slice for good measure. Sweeten with honey. I have to say, within minutes after drinking that I found myself drifting into an amazing, restful sleep, one that was much better than from the over-the-counter nighttime medicine.
I’ve been down for three days now, and it seems that the rest of my household felt the need to join me. We’re all sick with this nasty little cold. I always believe that “sharing is caring” and I guess they didn’t want me to feel left out!
I’ll be honest, I knew it was just a matter of time before I got sick with something. I lost sight of myself and wasn’t taking as good of care of myself as I was at taking care of everyone else. I was running around too much in rainy, cold weather; I wasn’t eating as well as I should; and I definitely wasn’t sleeping well at all. All those things mixed in with a few more are a recipe for the Universe stopping you in your tracks and making you pay attention to YOURSELF!
I knew that’s what happened, so I turned off my phone, put on my pajamas, and went to bed. I decided that as much as I wanted to be there for other’s that right now I needed to be there for me. I needed to sleep, rest, and place my efforts on getting better. Sure, the housework is piling up, but I know that my health, my body and soul, are much more important right now.
And as much as I don’t like being sick, I have to be grateful for the time that I am because it has forced me into resting and taking care of myself, something I wasn’t doing much of until I was forced to.
“Thank you, Universe, for this gift of making me remember that I’m important, too, and that if I’m not doing things for my Highest Good, I’ll be no good to anyone else. I’ve learned my lesson…you can take this cold and move along now!”
Wishing you love, light, and good health,
~Anne Dennish~
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 