change

“My Voice Is In My Writing”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

just for today

There’s so much in my heart right now and so many thoughts in my head. I want to talk to someone and let it all out, yet it seems lately that no one wants to listen. No one wants to hear my thoughts and feelings, no one wants to hear my truth. I need to ramble, to vent, to let it all out, yet it’s all tucked inside me and it’s driving me crazy.

Talking to someone is my way of figuring things out; what I’m feeling, what I’m thinking and why. Talking helps me to get it out and hear it in a new perspective; talking to someone allows them to be a gift that I need at times: a different perspective or a voice of reason.

Yet no one is listening and I find myself literally drowning in my own thoughts, in my own heartache. I find myself feeling alone and unable to feel love or happiness. Losing two loved ones in a short amount of time last month had a profound affect on me. I always appreciate each new day that life has to offer, yet when a life is suddenly taken and you’re not ready for it and didn’t see it coming, it certainly changes you.

And it changed me.

I’m sure the changes are temporary, but lately I’m not sure…I’m not sure of anything. What I need most right now is a listening ear and someone who can allow me the time to heal, the time to figure this all out, and who can do it with love and compassion.

I’m a strong person and I’ve been through worse than this, but something is different this time and I can’t seem to put my finger on it. I’m a spiritual person who understands death and knows that all these emotions are simply things coming to the surface; that this was all meant to happen this way and at this time.

There’s a lesson coming from all of it and I know I can’t rush it along. I know I need to be patient and realize that this journey I’m on now is leading me to another chapter in my life, one that will be different and better.

I know  in my heart that it’s not just the loss of two loved ones that is causing this; it’s so much bigger than that and so much more.

I’m standing outside of myself as a spectator, observing all that is and isn’t in my life right now. I’m understanding that I have put so much time and effort in to loving those in my life that I forgot to love myself as well. And I know to my toes that in order for someone to love me the way I need to be loved, I have to love myself that way first.

One of the greatest blessings of being a writer is just this: that when my voice can’t be heard, it can be read in what I write. When no one wants to listen to me, someone may want to read about me. My words are my heart and soul, whether they’re spoken or written, yet I know they need to speak out loud.

But they can’t.

Not right now.

Not until someone thinks I’m worthy and important enough to listen to, and not until I know that I am.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

balance my darling

 

“On The Outside Looking In”

/ Anne Dennish / 1 Comment

invisible me 3

There are times in my life when I feel like I’m on the outside looking in and I know in my heart that it’s okay to feel that way, because:

“Sometimes you need to step outside of your life in order to see what’s inside of it”.

Do you ever find yourself getting lost in the midst of your day to day routine? Getting lost among your loved ones, finding yourself wondering who you are anymore? Are you a mom, a wife, a “life partner?” And where are “you?” Where did you go?

It’s not a conscious decision to be on the outside. It just happens. One day you wake up and don’t feel like yourself; you feel like you’re “on the outside looking in.” At least for me that’s how it happens. And there’s no time frame for it; you feel that way for as long as it takes to see and learn what you need to, and it could be a day or two, or longer.

Sometimes amidst the routine of loving and caring for my nearest and dearest I suddenly find myself wondering where I went to…where am I in all this. It seems like everything is about everybody else, but not me.

I feel like no one notices me unless they need something, and tempers are shortened when I’m not doing what I should be…for them. I spoiled them by doing it all, and I love doing it all, but I also love being loved and cared for by THEM. I want them to spoil me just a bit, I want them to notice my feelings, I want them to reassure me of their love and commitment to me as much as I do to them. I don’t want to be taken for granted.

Yet on the other hand, I believe that being on the “outside” is most often times the only way we can observe our life; it’s the one way we can be objective by looking in from the outside at each person and each situation; it’s the best way we can see what is or isn’t and learn from it.

It’s the best way to see ourselves objectively.

And that’s when the lessons are learned.

We observe the behavior of others towards us; we see how they’re treating us and how we’re reacting to it. We see what the truth of our relationships are and what they aren’t. We see our strengths and our weaknesses, and we can see whether or not we’re speaking our truth.

Often times we find ourselves on the outside when we’re holding too much inside; we’re not speaking our truth for fear of the outcome. It’s that fear thing holding us back and keeping us on the outside.

I’m looking from the outside at all the excitement everyone around me is having; new adventures, exciting opportunities, and movement, yet I’m not a part of it. I’m here, in a life of laundry and cooking, responsibility and reality.

I’m looking at this girl I once knew who had one adventure after another, more excitement than she knew what to do, and an appetite for life and all it had to offer. Life slowed down on her, and she stepped back and she stepped into solitude; the woman who’s life revolves around every one else’s became invisible to those she loved most.

Yet, it was her fault. She allowed it, she contributed to it, and by not speaking her truth, those around her never knew how she was feeling. She had hoped that they would; but they didn’t. And I guess in the end,  it doesn’t matter, because that’s what being on the outside is about, and she knows that it’s up to her to get back to the inside.

So, here I sit on the outside, observing, making decisions, and making big changes. I want those adventures again; I want to feel the excitement of my passion again; I want to be me again.

And so I will. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even being on the outside, and once I  get back to the inside I feel that my life will be even better than it is now.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

outside looking in

“When The Excitement Slows Down”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

changing-your-life-post-1

Life is meant to be exciting, that is, if you want it to be. There will always be challenges that crop up now and again, yet it’s our choice to continue to find the excitement in even the worst of times and the most mundane of days. It’s our choice to embrace the day, no matter the sadness or stress, knowing that it won’t always be that way…just for the day. It’s your choice to weather the storm with grace and dignity, or allow it to overcome you with hopelessness and despair.

My life hasn’t always been the happiest. There have been many moments of fear, sadness, anger and hopelessness. I’ve learned lessons from all that life had to hand me, and because of that, I’m able to sit back in the worst of moments and try to find some excitement, or at best, find some joy and happiness. There’s always something in every day, big or small, to be grateful for. It may be as small that first cup of coffee in the morning that starts your day, to something big like an awe-inspiring sunset or that feeling of knowing you are loved.

So often life gets the best of us. It gets busy and throws a wrench in a life that was going along smoothly. It hands us a challenge we’re too tired to handle or ill-prepared to overcome; it hands us a life changing moment that we weren’t prepared for; it hands us an end to something that we thought was a beginning.

It’s at those times of uncertainty that we tend to lose our excitement.

And it’s at those times that we have to pay attention to what matters most…love and all the excitement it’s meant to bring, if we would just allow it.

I don’t like when life gets boring, but I love when it’s peaceful. I don’t like when life hands me a challenge, but I love learning the lesson and overcoming it. I don’t like when relationships get stagnant, but I love finding something new in something old. I don’t like feeling invisible, but I love finding my light.

Excitement can be exhausting when you’re already exhausted, yet it’s one of the most exhilarating feelings in the world. Excitement for love and your life can bring you happiness and joy, peace and contentment, and most importantly, a new perspective on it all. Excitement for even the smallest and biggest of things can alleviate the exhaustion and enhance the gratitude of the blessings in them all.

I don’t like when the excitement slows down and all the challenges speed up. It’s at that moment that I need to find my balance, and I’m one to always try and tip the scales to the excitement side, that side that holds the love, the joy, the happiness for life. The challenges will come and go, and if you’re not paying attention, so will the people you love. You have to make the choice of what’s more important, and for me, love wins out every time.

Love is what helps me to overcome the challenges; love is what gets me through the bad times; love is what gives me strength to do it all. Love is my excitement for the people I love and for the life that I live each day with them.

Don’t lose sight of what and who you love; don’t lose sight of the excitement they bring to you; and don’t ever take any of it for granted, because one day you could wake up and find it gone.

And when the excitement  seems to be slowing down, and the boring seems to be speeding up, then you know it’s time for a change. Switch it up and see what happens, and if you find that nothing you do works, perhaps your “excitement” is meant to be found elsewhere.

Life is always changing, and if you want something in your life to change, you need to remember that the change begins with you.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

“Clearing Out The Clutter for 2017”

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It’s only a few days before we say “good-bye” to 2016 and welcome in the New Year! One of the things I find myself doing once the Christmas festivities end is to begin a mission of “decluttering,” and one thing I’ve learned is that “clutter” makes for stress and imbalance. Now, I’m by no means a “neat freak,” yet this time of year is almost like “spring cleaning” for me. It’s an opportunity to clean out the clutter from this past year to make space for all the “new” things that the upcoming year will bring.

It’s a good time to clean out drawers, go through stacks of papers, and donate things that someone else may get better use of. It’s also a great time of year to clear out your inbox and re-evaluate your friends list on social media. It’s time to surround yourself with positive people and clear out the negative ones. It’s time to get rid of that stagnant energy and replace it with exciting and positive energy.

Make this upcoming year one of new beginnings, exciting adventures, and dreams come true!

Close out this chapter with love and begin this new chapter with promise!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Life Is Always Changing…”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

“Life is always changing, time to turn the page,
The story continues, it’s mine to create.
So what do I do now? Where do I go?
Do I let my mind lead me backwards in time
Or move ahead slow?”

lyrics from “What Now” by Anne Dennish & Sutton Thomas

It’s true, life is always changing, and while change can sometimes be difficult, it’s certainly proof that we’re still breathing! Life is an adventure, and lessons for our Highest Good are everywhere, just waiting for us to see them and learn from them.

We’re always having “waking up” moments; that moment when you suddenly become aware of something you never saw before; never realized before; or never knew before.

Yet again, maybe those “somethings” were there all along; it was YOU that changed! You cleared your mind; you listened to your intuition; or perhaps you learned something new about yourself that allowed you the clear sight to see something in a different light.

It’s called “change.” And while life is always changing, so are we. We’re changing for our Highest Good; changing to live the life we always wanted and so deserve; changing to pursue our dreams.

So why are some so scared of change? It’s because we don’t always know where the change will take us…so we will “let our mind lead us backwards in time.” Yet when you embrace the change of the lessons you learned, it’s time to “move ahead slow.”

During our time here on earth, we move into many different lives. We grow, we mature, and we learn as we go, so why go back in time? Go, if only to remember for a moment while you left it in the first place, but jump back quickly into the present; it’s the present that will help build your future.

Let life change you; embrace the lessons your are gifted; release the past with love and light, because what once served you has done its’ time, and something “new” is waiting for you…it always is.

Wishing you love and light and a grand adventure,

~Anne Dennish~

I-know-where-Ive-been

“Feeling Stuck?”

/ Anne Dennish / Leave a comment

In the last few days, I have had some close friends of mine telling me that they’re feeling “stuck.” I understand the feeling, because I’ve been feeling it a bit, too. One person feels that they aren’t moving up fast enough in their job; another tells me they feel like their life is “as good as it gets.” As for me, I’m feeling as if life with “Waking Up” got too quiet after a fast and furious launch. Yet, there’s reasons we feel that way, and it isn’t the job, or the life, or the book… it’s “us.”

It’s that balance thing again and my most important belief: “that everything happens WHEN it’s supposed to and HOW it’s supposed to.” So, why does that make it about “us?” Because we’ve forgotten some important messages: Find your balance and learn the patience to TRUST and have FAITH that everything is coming together for us, and it absolutely will… when the time is right.

We feel stuck because we’re not doing, or having, or getting what we want at that moment. Yet, we have the ability to change that around, and it’s not always easy. If you can accept that maybe, just maybe, the Universe and your Higher Power have a different plan; that maybe this isn’t the time for a change in the job, or getting something you want. If you can change your perspective and thinking on feeling “stuck” to one of: I have faith in myself, and believe that all I want and deserve will come to me at the exact time it’s supposed to.

Sounds simple, but it takes some effort. And the effort is worth it.

None of us are truly stuck; we possess the greatest gift life has given us: “choice.” We have a choice to what we feel and how we handle things. I understand that “stuck” feeling, but I don’t stay in it long. The longer you feel that way, the more that feeling will “stick” to you. Don’t do it…please don’t do it.

So today I ask you to check your “balance,” and listen to your intuition. Why are you really feeling this way? It’s usually more than some outside force that makes you feel that we. Remember, you are in control of your feelings… no one else is. If you believe that someone made you feel sad or upset, the truth is that you let them.

Choose love, choose faith, choose patience, and watch how different your day will be. You’re not stuck, not ever…you’re simply waiting for the next adventure!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

choices