I feel restless. It used to be that I only felt that way once or twice a year, yet lately this feeling is happening more and more frequently. I’m feeling restless, feeling bored, feeling like I need a new adventure; I need something new, something exciting, something different. I need to feed my soul because it’s my soul that’s feeling restless. I guess you could say I have “restless soul syndrome!”
Don’t get me wrong, I love my life, yet there are moments even I wonder if this is as good as it gets or this is all there is…and I’m at that point now, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way now and again. Maybe some of you feel that way as well.
Life seems to morph into a ritual of the same people, the same parties, the same old same old…and while I love those people and those parties I need new experiences as well. I’m not one who can stay in a box and that same comfort zone for too long. I need to experience new things, new people, and new adventures.
And that’s where I am today…feeling restless. I’m wondering what direction I need to move in my life next, what I should be doing differently, what I’m missing out on. I love my writing and I couldn’t imagine a day without writing something, yet in the midst of that I find myself in the middle of laundry, housework and mundane routines…
And I’ve lived that life before…
I’ve been a full time housewife and mother, and as the kids have grown older, there’s not much need for it now. I have two of my five children living home now and both boys tell me that they want me to do more as a writer, that they love the fact that I AM a writer, and they support me through it all. They want to see me out there in the world catching my dreams, always believing that something wonderful is about to happen, and living my life pursuing my passion of writing. They know I’m always there as their mom but they want so much more for me. They’re two very impressive boys and I’m grateful for them every day. They sometimes see in me the potential and ability that I sometimes lose sight of in myself.
They believe in me.
They love me.
And they want me to do the same for myself.
They both lived through my breast cancer with me…they were there for the diagnosis, the treatment and the recovery, and ever since then they want me to do what makes me happy. They want me to write, to publish more books, and to try and make a difference in the world. They want me to live my life in a way that I never had before. They want me to live my life making the world a better place.
And believe me, they’ve done that for me.
So here I am, knowing all that I know, feeling restless…wanting more, desiring more, and ready for another adventure. I want to push the envelope and shoot for the moon. I want to dream bigger and better; I want to write more and share more with the world; I want to step out of this box I find myself in and push the limits to one of endless possibilities.
And I’m the only one that can do that. I own the fact that I’m feeling restless and I know that it’s up to me to change it.
I want to fuel that fire that ignites my soul.
Feeling restless doesn’t mean I’ll change who I am; feeling restless means that the Universe is trying to tell me something. It’s taking who I am and trying to make me a better person. It’s trying to teach me a lesson and tell me that there’s more that awaits me in this world. It’s telling me to get out from under the laundry and move up to what it has to offer me next. It’s telling me that there’s another experience waiting for me if I’ll just open my eyes and see it.
So, while I’m feeling restless today I know that tomorrow is another day with endless possibilities and new experiences just waiting for me to grab onto them, move forward with them, and let them guide me to the next chapter in my life.
I know these moments of feeling “restless” are for a reason and I can’t wait to see what they are!
I’m ready to take a leap of faith and open up the door to something new…
It’s a good thing.
Wishing you love and light,