“I Won’t Back Down”

Here’s an excerpt from my new book, “My Collective Soul,” which will be released in October of 2017. ~Anne Dennish~

Photo by EVNFLO Photography

 

 

“No, I stand my ground, won’t be turned around,and I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down…gonna stand my ground and I won’t back down.” ~Tom Petty~

 

I’ve always loved that song, but while going through breast cancer, the lyrics rang more true than ever. Yet you don’t need to go through an illness or rough patch to understand that song: that no one should “back down” to anything or anyone.

Finding our strength isn’t the easiest thing to do, and truth be told, even when you find it, there will be moments that you’re too tired to stay that strong. You’re tired, your emotions are running rampant, or you just hit your wall to life. And all that is okay; we’re all human and there are just some days that people and situations get the best of us.

I have days like that, although as I learn my lessons in life, those days are far and few between. When I find myself faced with someone who’s draining my energy or trying to manipulate me, I hear those lyrics:

“Well, I know what’s right, I got just one life in a world that keeps on pushin’ me around but I’ll stand my ground and I won’t back down.”

Yes, there are times we feel like we “gave in” to someone, yet you need to remember, you didn’t give in, and you didn’t give up. You did what was necessary to remove yourself from it, even if you allowed someone else to think they got the best of you.

What you know to be true is your “truth.” And no one, and no situation, can take that away from you without your permission.

“Don’t back down” to anything or anyone…stand tall, proud and strong! Show the world how “big your brave is!”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Getting Your Balls Back”

I once put two brass balls in a plastic bag and gave them to my girlfriend. I told her that if I ever lost them again to give them back to me.

I was a different woman then than I am now when I went through my divorce. It was over 10 years ago and that woman I was seems so foreign to me now.

I remember that at that time I made many changes in my life; I had lost weight, been college booksworking out at the gym, and had gone back to college to take creative writing courses. I was invited by my professor, a published author as well, to join his writer’s workshop. It was the best time of my life, yet also the darkest time knowing that there was a divorce to go through.

Yet I was strong. All those things I was doing for “me” gave me the strength to endure a nasty divorce. I felt good about myself, I felt like my brain was functioning like a writer, not just a mom, and I was in great shape. I will always believe that my Higher Power had directed me to all those positive changes to make me stronger, because He knew what was just around the corner for me.working out

I thought at that time that my children would feel like their mother had “left the building” because I was doing a lot of things, good things, for me. Yet that wasn’t so. I remember them being so proud of me for all of it, and I realized that all the things I did for myself were making me a better “mom” to them. What a feeling and what a lesson to learn. Sometime we “mom’s” think that if we’re doing things for ourselves that our children will suffer. So not true. It made my relationship with my kids even stronger, and to hear them brag to their friends about their mom going back to school and writing a book was one of the best moments I ever experienced as their mother. My oldest son loved the fact that I was working out and used to joke with his friends that “they better watch out because my mom can beat you up!” So simple, yet so empowering.

And that’s when I realized and learned that doing good things for me isn’t selfish. It made me a stronger and better woman and mom, and all that good stuff spilled onto my kids.

Sadly, it didn’t spill onto my husband. He hated it all. I look back objectively now and see that he may have felt threatened that this woman he controlled for over 20 years suddenly had a mind and body all her own, and she did it without him. I actually did it because of him.

Everything happens for a reason and I look back at that time and truly believe that all those things I did for myself were put in my path to make me strong, because once the divorce process began, my world changed. And it was all that I did for myself that helped to get me through.

It was sad enough that the marriage had been abusive on all levels, yet the divorce was even worse. The details aren’t important but the outcome is: I’m a different woman now and living in a happy life with two of my five children and the love of my life.

Yet there were times I lost my strength during it. I was a single mom taking care of the mental and physical well being of five children; I was the woman dealing with lawyers and sitting through mediations, which were a waste of time. I was tired, lonely, and so wanting it to be over.

My serenity at that time was in the backyard of my girlfriend. I could shed my tears there, talk for as long as I needed, and could always count on her shoulder to cry on. I remember one day she looked at me and said “where’d your balls go? You’re such a strong woman but not now? You gotta find your balls again, girlfriend.”

And so I did. I put two of them in that bag and told her to give them back to me if I ever lost them again.

And I never did.

Well, to be honest, there are times I feel weak and ready to give up, but I always remember that bag of balls that she still has and that’s enough for me to get them back.

And I always do…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

brass balls 1

“The Dreamers vs. The Realists”

“My opinion is that the “realists” are fearful of the “dreamers,” because we dare to believe that there’s more to life than living in reality; that in fact, sometimes our dreams are the very thing we need in order to live in our reality.”

It took many years for me to accept and be comfortable with being called a “dreamer.” People had me believing that dreamers had no sense of reality, and that being one was not a good thing. I’ve learned throughout my adventures in my life that being a dreamer is a wonderful gift…and while I am a dreamer, I’m a realist as well.

“A dreamer is a realist with faith.”

Those that look down upon a dreamer are simply fearful of who we are; they see in us what they can’t see in themselves. They look at us and wonder what our “secret” is to dreaming as we do. The secret is simple: have faith in yourself!

If you want to make a difference in the world, you have to begin with a dream, then turn that dream into a reality. And all that happens with “faith!”

Here’s to the dreamers of the world! It’s time to make a difference…and we can make a difference together!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

dreaming

from “Waking Up” ¬†copyright 2016

“Be Smart, Be Brave!”

All too often we settle for less than we deserve and want. And why is this? It’s because we don’t love ourselves enough, and most often, in order for us to move forward and have the life we deserve, we have to make some difficult decisions. Those decisions are ones of change, letting go and moving forward. Change can be scary, and so can saying good-bye to someone or something that no longer serves us.

I share my experiences in my new book, “Waking Up,” on how I was able to change my life to one that I deserved and wanted. One of the biggest lessons I learned was that the “smartest things I had to do were often the hardest things I had to do.” Yet I will tell you this: it was worth the effort, and any heartache or pain that came with it. And you know why? Because once I did those thing, it was as if the doors opened with more opportunity, more happiness, and more love than I could have imagined! Great things come to you when you say good-bye to the “not so great” people and things in your life. I believe that all good things will come to all of us when we rid ourselves of the drama and negativity in our life.

Love yourselves as well as you love those in your life! Take an inventory of “who and what” in your circle no longer serves you. Be smart, make a change, and move forward.

Show me how big your brave is!

Wishing you love and light,
~Anne Dennish~

smart and hard