“Feeling Uncomfortable”

I’m no stranger to feeling “uncomfortable,” especially in the last nine months. I was uncomfortable leaving my job at the Jersey Shore and moving to Delaware for the summer. After that I was uncomfortable when I left Delaware to move to Florida by myself. And now I find myself uncomfortable again. I left the job that I had here for the last two months. It was a difficult decision but one that was right for me. The job took a toll on my body and even more on me mentally. Within two months I was spent. My body was tired and my mind was exhausted. I miss the girls I worked with and the customers that brightened my day each morning, but being treated unfairly just wasn’t working for me anymore. 

I cannot put myself in a position to feel taken advantage of and to be treated disrespectfully. No one should. And I had had enough.

It was a rough few days last week coming off of that job but I managed to put myself in 100% self care mode, allowing myself the time I needed to get over the negative feelings from the job. It took a bit of time but I kept telling myself: “Go easy on yourself. You did the right thing for YOU!”

I believe that when YOU close a door that needs to be closed, the Universe will open many more. 

I have a few people in my life that feel like I made the wrong decision and have continually brought it up to me all week.  Sometimes people who are unhappy in their own lives take it out on those that have a life or mindset that they want, but don’t have. I understand that people project their unhappiness onto others and it’s hard for someone like me to keep remembering that, but I am, with the help of a few good people that support me with lots of love. They are the ones I need to keep close.

None of us should feel bad about making a decision that is in our best interest and we have to stay strong to those that try to make us feel that way.

No matter what you or I are going through, we have to believe in ourselves and our ability to do what’s best for us. Forget the opinions of anyone else.

I believe in you.

And I want you to believe in yourself.

And together we can.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Overwhelmed and Bittersweet”

“Overwhelmed and bittersweet” are two words that have been in my vocabulary these last few weeks and there’s a good reason as to why.

My parents are moving out of our childhood home and I’ve been spending much of my weekends and days after work packing them up and selling their furniture. It’s bittersweet finding so many memories of my childhood and selling off furniture that we all spent time around as a family. The packing can be overwhelming and it’s bittersweet in knowing that this house was our connection to the Jersey Shore. 

I will be leaving my job at the end of this month and have decided to spend a few months in Delaware to promote my new book and write the sequel. In addition to that I will continue working with the publisher on the final edits for my new novel, “The Mind of a Heart ” which should be ready for release in the next few weeks.  I’m also working on creating a weekly podcast and motivational/inspirational virtual group.  

I’m okay with all these changes but they do mean that I will be moving away from my beloved Jersey Shore in May. I’ve lived here all of my life and can’t imagine being so far away from the beach and the local towns that I love but it’s time for change. These changes are overwhelming at times and most definitely bittersweet.

I have to remind myself to enjoy what time I have left at the Jersey Shore and focus on the excitement of the next chapter in my life. 

And I am very excited about where this next adventure will take me.

I’m saying goodbye to feeling overwhelmed and hello to feeling grateful for the “bittersweet” because that means that it all meant the world to me.

And for that I am grateful.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“And The Last Child Graduates”

The youngest of my five children graduated high school last week. It was a bittersweet day for both of us yet an exciting one. It was the end of a chapter and the beginning of the next one. Of course his chapter is much different than mine, yet it’s a new beginning for both of us.

This fifth child of mine never ceases to amaze me. At just 17 years old (almost 18) he knows who he is, he’s comfortable in his own skin, and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, yet the truth is, everyone loves him. He’s smart, he’s kind and compassionate, and he’s funny. His smile lights up the room and he can turn the saddest of my days into my best days.

And they love him because he’s his authentic self. I can’t begin to tell you how many teachers, faculty and parents of his friends tell me what a sweet kid he is: kind, respectful and funny. No mother could ask for anything more!

Yet I think back to when I was that age and wasn’t even close to being sure of myself. I didn’t know what I wanted in life other than the next step after high school: go to college. I cared about what I was wearing and what others thought of me. Comfortable in my own skin? I didn’t even know what my “own skin” was. 

Yes, I’m a proud mother here and one that is in awe of this fifth child of mine, yet I’ll be honest, all five of them are the same way. They are who they are and they’re amazing human beings. I’d like to think I had a hand in that while I was raising them because I allowed them to be their authentic self, without judgment or criticism. And it worked.

We all want to be accepted and loved and I believe that happens when we are our “authentic self,” not someone other people expect us to be. As I told my children, if people don’t like you or respect you for who you are, then they’re not your “people.”

And it’s true.

It’s a lesson I learn more and more as life goes on.

Congratulations to my fifth child, Sam, as he begins the next chapter of his life. I hope it’s a grand adventure. He certainly deserves it!

And here’s to all of us being our authentic self and beginning another chapter in our lives. Enjoy the journey and embrace the adventure.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

sammy

 

“What” Is Not As Important As “Why”

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“What’s” happened to you in your life isn’t as important as “why” it happened. ~AD~

We all experience some difficult situations in our life and I’ve come to accept and understand that the “what” that’s happened to me isn’t as important as  the“why” that it did.

We’re so quick to blame others for our difficult times, yet we have a hand in those situations as well. Perhaps we aren’t being our authentic self or standing in our truth to those around us. Maybe we change “who” we are according to the people we are around at a particular moment. I can tell you that I’ve learned that I am in control of what I allow to happen to me and it’s up to me to set healthy boundaries for my highest good…and it’s not always easy to do.

I had breast cancer and it can’t always be prevented, yet I could have had a mammogram sooner than I had; I went 5 years without one and only had one done when I found my tumor. So while this “what” may have been destined to happen to me, the “why” it happened when it did was because I wasn’t loving myself enough to get that mammogram every year like I should have. I know better now.

I’ve lived through divorce and a bad relationship. The “what” that caused an ending to these relationships isn’t as important as the “why” it happened. It happened because I was allowing those people to treat me in a way I didn’t deserve. What you allow will continue and it did for me until I realized I deserved better and decided to stop it.

And I’ve lived through emotional, verbal and physical abuse. It went on for years until I finally put an end to it. “What” was said and done to me isn’t as important as “why” it was done to me. It happened because I let it happen. I wasn’t as strong as I am now, my self-esteem was non-existent, and I blamed myself for causing all those things that were said and done to me then. I was at the bottom and when I finally decided that enough was enough, I pulled myself up off the floor and began to see clearly of the “why” it happened. I began to get stronger day by day and set up boundaries that were never again to be crossed by anyone, and if they were, I certainly recognized it sooner. It happened because I let it, not because I deserved it. It was yet another life lesson for me to learn.

You have to love yourself, respect yourself, and know that you don’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone, especially by yourself. Let’s face it, we’re all masters of self-sabotage at times…we can hurt ourselves better than the person who is hurting us. Yet that’s not the way it should be; you know that as well as I do.

It’s time we all, myself included, stop focusing on the “what” that happened to us and start looking deep within ourselves to see our truth of the“why” it happened.

It’s then that we learn and grow and move forward into the life we want and deserve.

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“You Are Beautiful…No Matter What They Say”

I’m always honest with all of you that follow me and I’m going to be honest now. You’ve all become “friends” to me with all your support and comments which I appreciate more than I can say.

I share my personal experiences with all of you in the hopes to make a difference to someone, yet there are moments in my life that it isn’t all sunshine and roses, as I’m sure yours isn’t at times.

So I’m going to get personal and honest with all of you: I’ve had a bad week. A really bad week.

I’ve gone through a few situations this week that hurt my heart so deeply that I’m having a difficult time getting past it…yet I know I will in time.

I have to process what’s happened, try to understand why, and figure out the lesson in it for me. Heartache happens to teach us something…and now it’s trying to teach me something.

I know what to do because I’m always telling all of you how to get through rough times…I’ve been down this road before and I know it’s a difficult journey, yet I know the process I have to go through to get to a better place.

I need to remind myself that anyone who hurts my heart did so because of their own issues. Some people hurt others because they’re feeling hurt themselves, or because they need to have that control, or because they’re simply abusive. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t make it right.

And I let them do it.

And sometimes we just don’t know how to stop them from doing it, which is why I believe to my toes that if someone treats you that way you have to wish them love and light and let them go.

And it’s not easy.

So, yes, I’m feeling hurt this week and trying to figure out why it all happened and how to handle it.

 

And I have to remind myself that it’s not my fault, it’s theirs.

And you need to remember that as well and repeat this to yourself as often as you have to: “It’s not my fault.”

We don’t ask people to hurt us or be mean. We don’t ask people to abuse us verbally or physically. We don’t ask someone to treat us badly.

That’s their choice to do it and our choice to allow it or not.

What we can do is know our worth, know our value and not allow anyone to treat us badly.

We need to remind ourselves that we’re beautiful, lovable and important.

And they need to be reminded that “their words can bring us down.”

And they need to understand that hurtful words can be forgiven, but they will never be forgotten.

I’m as human as anyone else and wanted to share this piece of my life with you.

In the end, I’ll be fine.

It’s a process.

I guess you could say that “Anne Dennish” has another life lesson to learn!

And it’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Those Waking Up Moments”

“It takes but one moment in your life that you find yourself waking up.”
~Anne Dennish~

 

“Waking Up” was the title of my last book and of the song I wrote to go with it. It was born out of my journey with breast cancer when a nurse asked me on my last day of treatment how the experience affected me. My answer was quick: “It woke me up.”

And it sure did.

But you don’t need to go through an illness to “wake up” to your life and how you’re living it.

I believe we all have those moments of “waking up” in which we see a situation differently…we see it with open eyes and more clarity. We see the truth. We see what’s working in our life and what isn’t. We see who belongs in our bubble and who doesn’t.

And then we have the choice to change it.

I’ve been going through a few “waking up” moments myself and while there are moments of sadness in what needs to be changed, there’s many more moments of happiness because of the change.

“Waking up” moments bring us life lessons to be learned so that we can live our life to the fullest and for our Highest Good.

Change isn’t always easy but I can promise you that it will always be worth it.

Because “YOU” are worth it!

Know the value of who you are…

It’s a good thing.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

it takes but one moment