AnneDennish

“Just For Today”

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There are days I have to keep reminding myself of what I used to tell my children: “it won’t be like this forever…just for today.”

And I know that it’s true. It’s a lesson I learned many, many years ago, and one I have to remember. Life happens, things happen, and sometimes it’s easier to sit in sadness or anger than to look at the flip side to it all. Everything happens for a reason, and while we may not know the reason at that moment, the Universe will bring it to us when we’re ready to see it.

I know it’s tough to do, to find the good in something “not so good,” yet life is a domino effect: one things affects another. And I’m here to tell you that throughout my life I’ve tried to stay positive and keep the faith through some pretty dark times, and one thing I’ve learned is that those “dark times” brought me to the light in my life now.

Stay positive, my friends, no matter what type of situation you’re going through. Find your light through the darkness, because truth is, YOU are the light!

“Just believe, just have faith, everything else will fall into place.”

And remember: “it won’t be like this forever…just for today.”

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“The Lost Art of Loyalty”

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While I was in Malibu last October finishing up my book, “Waking Up,” I was working on a short story about “loyalty.” I asked many people what it meant to them, and it soon became a topic that no one had a definitive answer for. In fact, a few people were annoyed when I asked their opinion; seemed it stuck in their mind and made them search for an answer; an answer that they could never find.

It also made them question the people in their life…and it made me question those in mine as well.

So what is loyalty? Does it have a different meaning for everyone? Do we make our own rules as to what loyalty is or is there a universal rule?

I start with my own loyalty. If you’re in my life and I love and care for you, I’ll always be loyal, unless you cross a boundary, in which case, I won’t strike back and become disloyal to you, I’ll simply walk away.

Next is the loyalty of those in my life. In healthy relationships of any kind, boundaries must be set for respect between each person. What bothers one person in the relationship may not bother another, yet communicating that to each other is key in the loyalty department. If you cross a boundary with someone in your life, you’ve just proved that you’re not loyal.

You see, “loyalty” is a tough one. The only answer I could get out of most people I spoke to about it was when they referenced the loyalty of a dog. A dog will always be loyal, yet my question made many wonder why humans can’t be the same.

We can, that is, if we choose to.

My loyalty lies with my love, my children, my family and my closest of friends. And that loyalty goesrecite-d597x1 beyond me; if you hurt those I love, my loyalty will have me walk out of your life as well. It doesn’t matter who you are.

Not many people are willing to do that. Many feel that it’s not their problem when someone hurts the ones’ you love; as long as they weren’t disloyal it’s okay. But is it? If someone intentionally hurts your child, or your spouse or significant other, why would you want to be a part of their life?

I think that’s where the confusion lies. I’ve been in that position before, where my loyalty was tested. It was a rough road between two people I care about, yet when push came to shove, my loyalty was with my love, not with the person who was hurting him. And I had to step out of that world with that other person, because my loyalty and my life is with him. Yes, feelings are hurt when you have to walk away from someone, yet in the end, it’s the right thing to do.

At least for me it was.

I know how important it is for me to be loyal to someone, and I believe I surround myself with those who feel the same about me. We attract what we put out there, and for anyone that knows me, they know I have their back. They know I’ll walk through fire for them, defend them, honor them, love them, protect them, and more importantly, I will walk away from anyone who hurts them. End of story.

“Loyalty” is much more than how you treat someone; it’s also about how other’s treat the people in your life and whether or not you accept that behavior. The choice is yours.

Is “loyalty” a lost art or have we forgotten the importance of it?

“Loyalty” is one of the strongest qualities in any relationship because it breeds trust and respect, and isn’t that what every good relationship should be built on?

Think about it.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

 

“Soup Season”

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I love to cook, at least most days I do. There’s something therapeutic for me about the whole process of preparing, chopping, dicing, seasoning and cooking. The end result comes from serving it to those you love and seeing the expression on their face. Food fills the body and warms the soul.

There’s summer cooking, filled with grilling and summer salads, yet my absolute favorite cooking is when the leaves begin to change colors and the air turns cool. It’s “fall cooking” and I love that first day of turning on the oven and heating up the house with the comfort foods of fall.

It’s also that time of year that I call “soup season.” There’s nothing better than cooking a pot of soup served with warm bread. I love making soup, and I believe that love comes from my grandmother. I can remember many days at her house watching her put her big

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Potato Leek Corn Chowder

cauldron on the stove and fill the counter with every vegetable under the sun! I loved those days of helping her make soup and I’m confident that she taught me everything I know about the process. I’ve been nicknamed the “soup-meister” of my family because no one else makes it like I do, which is just how my grandmother made it.

It took her hours to make soup, and when it was done she’d fill up a million containers of it to give to all of our families. No one was ever left hungry when my grandmother made soup! She made many different types, yet when someone was sick, she went to task of making her “beef barley vegetable” soup, which she said was “good for what ails you!” I’m happy to say that it took me years to get my recipe to taste like hers, and while it’s not exactly the same, it’s close enough.

I once asked her what the key ingredient was in her soup, to which she told me: “It’s the love. Always put love into whatever you make.” And I’ve remembered that ever since.

When my kids were little and I baked cookies they’d tell me how good they were and that they could taste all the love in them. To this day, they still say that.

And now my love says that too; with every cup of tea or bowl of soup he tells me he can taste the love, and isn’t that what cooking is about? It’s filling the bellies of your loved ones with good food, and warming their hearts with how much you love them.

It’s definitely “soup season” at the Jersey shore, especially at my house, where everyone is coming down with colds. My love wants my “chicken and rice” soup, and my daughter’s request is for my  “potato leek corn chowder.”As far as my two vegan boys, they want good ‘ol “vegetable soup.” So many soups, yet I always find the time.

I will always find the time to take care of the ones’ I love, and any request for my soups is welcome. Today I’ll be in the kitchen with my own cauldron, just like my grandmothers’, firmly planted on the stove for the day. And in between stirring and simmering, I’ll be writing and making their “sick beds” more comfortable for them.  By tonight they will have all “tasted” the love when they ate, and will be “feeling” the love as they lay their head down on clean sheets, warm blankets and fluffed up pillows.

And I’ll end the night with a warm cup of green tea and honey for everyone…including me!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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Beef Barley Vegetable Soup with fresh baked French bread…as my grandmother said, “it’s good for what ails you!”

 

 

“Drawing A Line In The Sand”

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Boundaries. I know all about them , write about them, and understand their purpose. Yet, I find myself having allowed boundaries to be crossed…. MY boundaries, that is. It happened without warning, yet it happened. I should have known that the feelings I’ve had in the last few months were my own fault, because I had set boundaries and allowed them to be crossed.

I don’t know if I’m more angry at myself for allowing it to happen or if I’m more upset with the person who crossed them. I was open and honest about my boundaries with them, yet somehow they got lost in the every day business of life and relationships.

Truth is, I have a hard time saying “no” and learning to do this, when it’s for my best interest, is a work in progress. I don’t like confrontation, and I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, especially when it’s someone I love. Yet I missed one very important piece to this puzzle:

“Why did I allow MY feelings to be hurt and why was I more concerned over someone I love when I should be loving myself just the same?”recite-1kfn7mb

Truth…an awakening…a slap of reality. Yes, yet another “waking up” moment for me, and I don’t like it. I allowed boundaries to be crossed that upset me, hurt me, and messed with my health. And I wonder if the other party knows this, because they should.

Everyone handles things their own way. Things that upset me may not bother someone else. Yet aren’t we supposed to respect and understand each others’ feelings? If someone tells us they react to something a certain way, shouldn’t we accept that as their truth? Or that perhaps they’re telling us that so we don’t hurt them?.

This was a difficult one for me to figure out, and it took longer than it usually does. I’m intrigued by what makes people tick, and that includes myself. I always tell my love that I’m probably one of the few people he knows that really knows herself well, and that includes my faults and my strengths. I’ll admit when I’m wrong, and ask for understanding of him when I need it. (Sometimes I think I make it too easy for him…what he can’t figure out about me I tell him! LOL!)

So, now what?

First, I need to forgive myself, because I’m mad that I allowed this to happen.

Second, I need to put the boundaries back in place, although the hurt and damage from them  being crossed is already done.

And third, I need to take a cold, hard look at my life to see what’s working and what’s not.

Why did I allow the lines in the sand to be crossed? Who and what is my priority? How did this mishap of crossing boundaries affect my family and my life?

Lines in the sand…that was my problem. I should have set a solid foundation of cement for the boundary. I thought I had, but sometimes when we worry more about someone else we lose sight of what’s best for us, and more importantly, we lose sight of ourselves.

And I’m guilty of that. And life is going to change. And feelings will be hurt.

Yet out of all of this, I know with all my heart that more wonderful things will come out of this lesson! Hearts will bond stronger, relationships will grow and flourish, and life will go on…even better than it was before the boundaries were crossed.

It’s a life lesson, and as much as I write about it, it’s a lesson I needed to learn. The Universe whacked me once again, waking me up to something important: I stopped looking out for my well being and what was good for me, even though I knew that someone else was causing me pain.

It wasn’t a mistake or something done out of malice, because I accept that it’s yet another lesson, another blessing, and another story to be shared to help and teach someone else.

Boundaries are not meant to be controlling tools; they are tools to protect us and let other’s know that we are to be respected. They are the simplest of ways to let someone know that what they do, what they say, or what they want, is not necessarily for OUR highest good… sometimes it’s just for theirs.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Bulk Day”

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I spent all day yesterday cleaning out my garage…not an easy task. My love moved in over a year ago, and the containers of tools and Rubbermaid containers of his stuff was still riddled all over, along with remnants of my babies childhood…and with too many memories of the past. I started the job at 8 in the morning, and was still at it by 3! And still there’s more to do!

My two boys spent over an hour hauling stuff to the curb for “bulk day” today, yet as I sat on my front porch with my coffee this morning, I was looking at the pile.

And the memories came flooding back…

And I wondered if I should bring some of it back in…

The one item I keep looking at is my yard swing. It’s over 15 years old, survived two marriages and their divorces, and had a happy life at my prior house that overlooked “my lake.” The kids and I lovingly called it “the sleeping swing” because anyone that sat on it eventually fell asleep, even the animals!

And so the memories of “the sleeping swing” are overtaking my thoughts, and I’m remembering bottle feeding our cat on it when the kids first brought him home, rocking my two youngest to sleep on it, and envisioning all those I love piled onto it.

I remember my kids and my nieces and nephews all piled on it for a group picture for the sleepinggrandparents; I remember my son and his friends hanging out on it in high school, sharing all their stories with me; I remember that swing being my serenity spot at night when everyone went to sleep; and I remember it always being a source of comfort for my kids and I, and anyone else who needed to be outside and find peace.

Yet sadly, the swing didn’t do as well at this house. It lost its’ protection of a roof from my old house, and as much as we tried to keep it covered during a rainstorm, the waters still leaked in, and soon enough, my beige swing was turning green with mold. No matter the effort we put into it to wash it and clean it, nothing seemed to work.

So yesterday we made the decision to say good-bye and put it at the curb. And here I sit, wondering if I should bring it back in.

I keep reminding myself that the memories stay with us much longer than an item does; and that the past is the past, and there’s such a time to let it go and say good-bye.

And I know, this is one of those times. It was so easy to toss it out yesterday, and much more difficult this morning seeing it out at the curb. My love told me he’ll go get it and bring it in, if that’s what I want, or we can get a new one next year.

As hard as it is to see it go, getting a new one to fit with this new life is how it should be. The “sleeping swing” holds memories that I share with my children and a life I had prior to this relationship, and I’m a big believer in letting the past go so that I can move forward.

So, good-bye to our “sleeping swing,” and much love and gratitude to you for over 15 years of peace and serenity…and now to look forward to next summer when we buy our new one.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Dear Children”

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If you want to see time pass quickly, become a parent. Nothing speeds up time more than watching your child grow into an adult, and suddenly, you’re left with a profound timeunderstanding of how precious time really is. And if you are a parent, you know exactly what I mean.

In my book, “Waking Up,” I wrote a story called “A Letter To My Children,” and together with Sutton Thomas, we wrote a song called “Dear Children.” Here’s just a small excerpt from the story:

“Life changed from that exact moment that you took your first breath, and with that breath, I held mine. I held my breath out of excitement of a new baby placed in my arms and out of fear as to all the responsibilities that were now a part of my life, from that day forward.

You, my children, were all my dreams come true, yet with each one of you came the nightmare of hoping that you’d always be okay, that you’d never get hurt, that your life would be without any feelings of low self-esteem, or anger, or sadness that I had ever felt. I could teach you how to protect yourselves, but I wouldn’t be able to stop the outside world from coming in.

The love of parent never dies, not with time, not with distance, not with death; the love of a parent grows stronger with each passing day; with each new milestone you reach and each heartache you encounter. Your mistakes and mine becomes lessons for us, and with each mistake, together we become better and stronger for it.

You, my child, are forever and always within and around my heart.”

Time and our children are precious…embrace them both.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Standing In Your Truth”

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“Standing in your truth…” it’s not for the weak of heart.

I learn more and more ever day that standing in my truth isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Sometimes you gain friends and sometimes you lose them, yet the Universe will always see that things happen as they should.

“Standing in your truth” requires you to be honest with yourself; to know who you are, say what you feel, and accept all that you are. We’re all a “work in progress,” learning lessons through experiences and situations, and it’s all those lessons that teach us to be a better person; to understand why we react as we do; to allow us the vision to see where change may be needed.

Your “voice” is the most powerful tool you’ve been gifted when “standing in your truth.” It’s your voice that holds the words of your truth; that expresses the tone of your feelings; and it’s that voice that can change the world.

Truth isn’t negative or mean, hurtful or vindictive; truth is the loyalty of honesty to yourself and others.

Yes, there are times that your truth can hurt another person, but in the end, the truth is who you are, and their truth reveals who they are as well.

This is how we learn about people and ourselves. This is how we know when it’s time to let someone go. This is how we see the true colors of people and situations…and a concept as simple as “truth” is our gift, our teacher.

We’ve all been hurt by someone at times throughout our life, yet that pain taught us valuable lessons that made us a better and stronger person. I would much rather be hurt with the truth than deceived by a lie.

The Universe has taught me a few tough lessons in the last two days, and while I’m still a bit upset by them, I feel a peace at knowing that this new change is for my Highest Good, and I have to believe that it is for the other person involved. My choice is to learn from it; their choice is to learn or live in anger.

I’ve never seen anything good happen with negative emotions or behaviors. We attract what we put out there.

“Stand in your truth” with strength, kindness and compassion, because anything less will bring nothing more to you.

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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My Tribute to “Prince”

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I was shocked to hear of the news that Prince had passed away yesterday, and by reading so many posts on social media, so was the rest of the world.

I grew up listening to and loving Prince… a true icon and legend of his time. He was proof to me that it was okay to be different than everyone else, that standing in your own truth was taking a worthwhile risk, and that no matter what, you should always pursue your dream. He dared to be different, and it served him well!

He taught us that it’s okay to “go crazy” and that “purple rain” truly existed; he taught us to “party like it’s 1999” and we did, and we never stopped.

His halftime performance taught us that not just the show, but “life” goes on…and that you can turn the worst of conditions into something good. And his something “good” on a night of torrential rain and wind spilled onto millions of people who watched his performance.

It’s sad that the world has to say good-bye, yet again, to another amazing artist, yet his legacy will live on. And don’t we all want to leave a legacy behind? Life is too short to be anything less than happy, so today, “go a little crazy, get a little nuts, and party like it’s 1999!” I think Prince would have wanted it that way.

Thank you for the music, sweet Prince and RIP.  I’ll never forget you, and neither will the world. Rest easy and fly…

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

“Take A Time-Out From Adulthood”

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“Adulthood hurts.”

That was the topic of discussion over coffee this morning that my love and I shared a laugh over. We can both agree that sometimes being an “adult” is just too serious!

As adults we often forget what it’s like to be a child; we look at children with envy at how simple their lives are when they’re younger. And we begin to look at adulthood as boring.

But you know what? Adulthood is only boring and too serious if you let it be that way. No one says that adults can’t find their “inner child” and express it! In fact, I believe with all my heart that it’s healthy and absolutely necessary to be in touch with your “inner child,” to find the time to be free and be silly; to find some time to play, to make the time to have fun!

All too often we get caught up in the day, forgetting to take the time to “stop and smell the roses.” And we miss a lot of good stuff when we don’t take the time to see it or feel it. We miss out because we’re being “too serious” of an adult and not allowing our beautiful “inner child” to come out and play often enough.

Part of living a life in balance is allowing yourself to play and release that kid locked up inside of you! It’s healthy for your mind, body and spirit. Look how good you feel when you’ve had a good belly laugh, or played Frisbee with your kid, or swung a hula hoop around your waist! “Adult” coloring books are all the rage now…and why? Because you relive a memory of coloring as a child and find it fun and relaxing as an adult.

So, today, I’m asking you all to take a “time-out” from adulthood at least once a day. Trust me, your “inner child” is just waiting to come out and play!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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“Feeling Stuck?”

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In the last few days, I have had some close friends of mine telling me that they’re feeling “stuck.” I understand the feeling, because I’ve been feeling it a bit, too. One person feels that they aren’t moving up fast enough in their job; another tells me they feel like their life is “as good as it gets.” As for me, I’m feeling as if life with “Waking Up” got too quiet after a fast and furious launch. Yet, there’s reasons we feel that way, and it isn’t the job, or the life, or the book… it’s “us.”

It’s that balance thing again and my most important belief: “that everything happens WHEN it’s supposed to and HOW it’s supposed to.” So, why does that make it about “us?” Because we’ve forgotten some important messages: Find your balance and learn the patience to TRUST and have FAITH that everything is coming together for us, and it absolutely will… when the time is right.

We feel stuck because we’re not doing, or having, or getting what we want at that moment. Yet, we have the ability to change that around, and it’s not always easy. If you can accept that maybe, just maybe, the Universe and your Higher Power have a different plan; that maybe this isn’t the time for a change in the job, or getting something you want. If you can change your perspective and thinking on feeling “stuck” to one of: I have faith in myself, and believe that all I want and deserve will come to me at the exact time it’s supposed to.

Sounds simple, but it takes some effort. And the effort is worth it.

None of us are truly stuck; we possess the greatest gift life has given us: “choice.” We have a choice to what we feel and how we handle things. I understand that “stuck” feeling, but I don’t stay in it long. The longer you feel that way, the more that feeling will “stick” to you. Don’t do it…please don’t do it.

So today I ask you to check your “balance,” and listen to your intuition. Why are you really feeling this way? It’s usually more than some outside force that makes you feel that we. Remember, you are in control of your feelings… no one else is. If you believe that someone made you feel sad or upset, the truth is that you let them.

Choose love, choose faith, choose patience, and watch how different your day will be. You’re not stuck, not ever…you’re simply waiting for the next adventure!

Wishing you love and light,

~Anne Dennish~

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