I’m happy to say that I’ve been back in full swing writing the sequel to my last book, “The Mind of a Heart.” My apologies to those of you who have been waiting to see what happens next to the main character of that book. I had hoped to have it done sooner but it’s been a bit more difficult getting back to writing while living in Florida. I’ve been trying to “get my groove back” and it feels as though I finally have. I’ve written over 60 pages and 10 chapters in the last few days. My deadline is my birthday, March 15th, to have the book finished, edited and sent to the publisher.
It’s funny what motivates us to get back into doing the things that we love to do. So often we’re doing so much for everyone else and making them a priority that we forget to focus on ourselves. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last month or so is that no one is going to make me a priority if I don’t make myself one.
Life can be strange sometimes but I’m beyond happy that I’m writing again and am finally finishing my next book because it means so much to me.
Do something that makes you happy and make yourself a priority.
My desk is in front of two large windows in my house, giving me a wonderful view of the neighborhood. This morning as I sat here writing with my windows down enjoying the cooler weather, I saw a neighbor from down the street come walking towards another neighbor walking their dog. Their exchange was right in front of my windows.
The neighbor down the street walks up to the woman walking her sweet Bichon and hands her something that she dropped in her yard. The woman, who recently moved in here, thanks her with a smile.
I thought that this was a nice encounter between two neighbors, but it wasn’t. The woman begins to lecture her in a very nasty tone, telling her never to walk through her yard again and that it’s against the rules. The woman apologizes yet the other one keeps going at her.
This is a person that lives a few houses away that has a negative and nasty attitude towards her neighbors, including me, and for no apparent reason.
Why do people have to be mean and unkind?
I feel incredible sadness when people are not kind, whether it’s to me or to someone else. I truly don’t understand why anyone would choose to be cruel to another human being but they do.
I will never understand how someone can find pleasure in intentionally hurting another. I know that there are plenty of reasons WHY they’re like that, but they have a choice NOT to be like that. Life has handed me some painful and hurtful situations but I never let them turn me into a mean person. I don’t care what has happened to me in my life, I would never intentionally hurt someone else. I know how it feels and it’s extremely painful to be abused, be it emotionally, mentally or physically.
Be kind as often as you can.
And to my neighbor down the street: “If you can’t be kind, please be quiet.”
And that goes for anyone else who is unkind to others.
My heart and soul hurt. It’s a pain that I have no control over because it’s caused by people I love the most: my family.
I understand that I can’t control the behavior of others, but how do you stop them from constantly doing things that they know hurt you? Why do they isolate you from the people you love? Why don’t they care what they’re doing to you?
I was diagnosed with PTSD years ago after a difficult marriage and divorce. I spent years doing what needed to be done to heal myself. It worked, or so I thought. That’s the thing about PTSD; it can come back in an instant and it did.
I used to believe that there is nothing more important than family, but I don’t anymore. It has been close family members that have caused most of the trauma in my life.
Most of my family never really accepted me for who I am. They can’t understand how I can be faced with hard things in life and still remain positive. Their lack of understanding of who I am may be the reason for their behavior towards me.
They prey on my empathetic personality and think nothing of doing what they can to hurt me, and I don’t understand why. I’m no threat to them or anyone else. I’m just this girl who wants to share her experiences with the world in the hopes that someone can relate and know that it will be okay. I’m just this girl that wants to try to change the lives of others and the world for the better. I’m just this girl that tries to teach people that kindness matters and that we are all important.
I have very little contact with these people, yet they know how to get their point across to cause pain.
I’ve always been open about my life and I felt that it was important to do so now. Yes, my PTSD is back and I’m doing what I have to do to heal. I’ve tried to tell one of those family members about how much their behavior hurt me only to be told that I deserved to be treated that way.
No one deserves to be treated badly. No one deserves to be hurt intentionally, and no one deserves to feel worthless because others think that they are. Isn’t there enough pain and heartache going on in the world now? Why be a person who intentionally causes that to others?
I keep telling myself that their behavior towards me is their own insecurities about themselves and that they have to hurt me in order for them to feel good about themselves. They are the narcissists and abusers of the world and sadly, they are part of mine.
I’ve begun my journey of healing. I have to forgive them so that the anger doesn’t continue but I do NOT have to forget what they’ve done to me, and I never will. Unfortunately, family is connected in one way or another so cutting them out of my life is one thing, yet the connection is still there.
This is not the way that I intended to end 2024 yet I have learned so much with all that’s happened
that it’s time to begin 2025 without them.
I’m grateful for the life lessons, painful or not, that have placed me on this journey of healing. I intend to embrace each and every step along the way.
And for any of you going through something similar, I’m here for you. Together we can help each other to heal and hopefully, we can heal the world!
I’m feeling a little sad this morning. It’s not a sadness that has to do with any one thing, but an overall sadness about the lack of kindness and empathy in the world.
I’m feeling sad for the people who are cruel and abusive to others. They must have the lowest of self-esteem and more insecurities than can be counted. They must be so jealous and envious of another that they have to try and ruin that person’s
life.
There must be a reason for such a person to exist.
Did someone teach them that a person deserves to be treated badly just because they’re mad at them or don’t like them?
Did someone teach them that it was fine to speak abusively to another human being and then move on happily with their day without remorse?
Did someone teach them that they are the most important person in the world and that no one else matters or has value?
Somewhere along the way, they were taught these behaviors or were allowed to behave that way. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter because no one has the right to be abusive or cruel to another, period!
Everyone has a choice to change and I have found that these types of people never do change because they truly believe that they don’t need to.
Today I’m sad for a brief moment, saying a prayer for them, wishing them love and light and letting them go.
You can’t save people like that and you’ll never change them, no matter how kind you are, no matter how much you try and help them, and no matter how hard you try to communicate how their behavior affects you. They will always feel that they have the right to treat people how they want because they believe that they deserve it.
Walk away from the darkness of negative people and surround yourself with those standing in the light of positivity.
And now, I let go of that brief amount of sadness and move forward with my day trying to be the best person that I can, spreading a little kindness wherever the day takes me.
There are some people that are just born “trouble makers.” Do you know the type that I’m speaking about? I know it all too well because I’ve been dealing with them my entire life yet they have taught me some very valuable lessons.
As an empath I can feel the pain of others and have the gift of being able to understand how they feel and why they act the way that they do, but just because I’m able to do that does NOT mean that their behavior is justified.
I used to teach my kids that “bullies” were mean because they were insecure, jealous or had low self-esteem. I taught them that it was their feelings about themselves that made them mean to others. As an adult, I don’t use the term “bully,” but use the correct term of “abuser and/or narcissist.”
I battled breast cancer and won, but battling a narcissist? That’s a battle for which there is no chemo or radiation to try and cure it. It’s a battle that is not fought to win, in fact, it’s a battle that NO ONE should enter into. I have studied and researched narcissism for years and have lived through many years of dealing with one. I’m learning that less interaction with them is best. They will turn it on you every time and play the victim and the martyr. They are hurtful people with not a stitch of remorse or compassion to be found in their being.
The people who truly matter in your life are the ones who love you for who you are. They support you and stand by you. They are the ones that bring you joy when they’re around and would never intentionally hurt you.
No one has the right to hurt another person. You are a unique and amazing human being and deserve love, respect and compassion.
Cut ties with any narcissists that are taking up space in your life and draining your beautiful energy. They don’t deserve your time and you don’t deserve their abuse.
Shine bright, my loves, because your light will always shine through the darkness!
Often times we take things for granted. We assume that the people we love know how we feel about them or how much we appreciate them. We assume that they know when we’re upset or that something they do bothers us. We assume that saying the words to them is enough…but it isn’t.
Assumptions. Nothing good ever comes out of them. It’s a breeding ground for misunderstanding, arguments and hurt feelings.
Words, on the other hand, can make a difference. Words communicate how we’re feeling to someone and can prevent misunderstanding, arguments and hurt feelings.
Yet there’s something important about those words: you need the actions to back them up because it’s those actions that make them true to the person you said them to.
Be mindful. Be compassionate. Be kind. Be understanding. Be willing to listen with an open heart and mind.
And be those things to the people you love.
And they’ll be all those things to you.
And never miss an opportunity to not only tell someone how you feel about them, but show them!
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 