My favorite word these days is “believe.” It could be that it’s because it’s the holiday season or that the word seems to be splashed everywhere. Yet I don’t think so. I’m a dreamer and I believe that everything and anything is possible if we believe in it with all of our heart.
And I do.I believe that each of us has the ability to change the life of another.
I believe that kindness can heal the world.I believe that we can change someone’s life by sharing our stories of tragedy to triumph.
I believe that there’s good in everyone but not everyone sees that in themselves.I believe that positive words and actions are important.
I believe that a positive outlook can dampen a negative one.
I believe that if we have faith in ourselves we can achieve our goals.
I believe that dreams do come true and that there’s a dreamer in all of us.
I believe in magic.
I believe in “me.”
And I believe in all of you.
Here’s to the dreamers and the believers. You got this!
I helped an older gentleman at my job today. He gave me three bottles of perfume. I told him that it wasn’t necessary but he insisted. I thanked him and he said to me, “I wanted to give you something because you have been so kind to me. And I thank you for that.”
My heart melted.
And I thought, “How often do we tell someone that they’re kind?” We may thank someone for doing something kind for us, but do we actually thank them for being kind? I’ll tell you, that man made my day. I didn’t need the perfume. But I guess I needed to hear that I was kind.
Thank you, sir. You gave this writer something to think about.And write about.Such a simple act of kindness with a very big impact.
Let’s keep spreading kindness and start acknowledging that kindness in others.
Thank you to all of you who support me in such a beautiful way.
I left work at 4 pm on Friday knowing that I would be off the entire next week. Can I tell you how excited I am? I’m very excited. It’s more than the week before Christmas, it’s a week of taking time for myself and deciding what I’m doing next in my life.
Friday was the first day of my “staycation” and a perfect one at that! A walk to Asbury Park, dinner in an “igloo” and a walk home on the beach. The streets were aglow in Christmas lights and it was almost a “full moon!” I couldn’t have planned it any better or expected any more! It was a night of great food, good company and most importantly, love and laughs! It was the perfect way to begin my “staycation.”
Saturday held many interesting twists and turns but it turned out to be a wonderful night, having dinner with two good friends. So far this “staycation” is turning into an amazing time.
It’s Sunday night, the house is quiet and I’m all by myself. I spent the day doing “me” and it felt pretty good because I spent so much time on everyone else.
I thought about a lot of things today and realized that I haven’t spent enough time on myself. This week is about change. Things in my life need to change and I am forever grateful to have this week to decide what needs to change and to make a choice of what I want to change.
Here’s to beautiful “staycations” at home. I am incredibly grateful for this one. It’s been a long time coming and I have to believe that I deserve it.
It’s only Monday and I’m feeling incredibly happy and peaceful. There’s something wonderful about a “staycation.” I believe that the Universe is trying to tell me something and showing me a different side to my life, one that I haven’t lived in over a year and a half.
And I’m remembering it.
I remember how wonderful it felt to be home, to be writing at all hours of the day and night, to chat on the phone, to cook and clean. I remember how wonderful it felt to be home and not tired, to be home with time to talk to my friends and get together for lunch, to be home with my family.
I’m using this time to think about my life. I guess you could say I’m writing a list of my New Year’s Revelations…all that I’ve learned throughout 2021 and all that I don’t want to repeat in 2022.
And I’m grateful that I have this time to think about it all.
I’m sure there will be changes, some difficult and some easy, but I’m making decisions that are for my highest good. Decisions that will enhance my life and make it a life that I want.
Onward to changes. Onward to writing a list of New Year’s Revelations. Onward to doing what it takes to live your best life.
So, I did a “thing” today. I signed the contracts with my publisher to do another book! This one is way different than what I’ve written before and definitely a bit out of my comfort zone but I am so excited to be back under contract and ready to get published. Sometimes I need the pressure of a deadline to get myself moving. I believe with all my heart that this is going to be part of my moving forward in my life.
It’s been a wonderful “staycation” so far, one filled with changes and decisions and I’ll say it again, I’m grateful for the time to do so.
Life is precious and as I get older I realize just how precious it is. No day should be wasted, no minute should be wasted. There’s so many things I want to do before my last breath is taken and now is the time to do what it takes to do them.
It feels good to be back to being “me.” I missed her.
As I end this post I say this to all of you:
Forgive those who have hurt you and forgive yourself.
Have no regrets because mistakes are to be learned from and make us a better person.
Love hard and love long.
Laugh as often as you can.
Mean what you say but don’t be mean when you say it.
Your actions will always speak louder than your words. Choose them wisely.
And every day that you’re blessed to have another day to do it better than before, spend it with your loved ones or be aware of the beauty that surrounds you, be grateful.
It took me over 30 minutes to get the ice and snow off my car this morning but after that I was on my way to work, driving my favorite route: the beach. It was quite a beauty this morning. It’s almost an anomaly to see snow on the sand but one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. It’s haunting yet picturesque. It’s a look that you don’t see often so when you’re lucky enough to see it then you know you’re blessed to have seen something so amazing.
Sometimes our days begin in an awesome way until something trips us up and puts us in a funk, a down mood, so to speak. I had just that type of morning. In the midst of accounting and invoices I found myself feeling sad. I know what caused it but more importantly, I had to figure out why. I wasn’t going to talk about it until I figured out why a certain incident caused me to feel so badly. And that’s where I am tonight. I don’t want to talk about it with anyone until I’ve figured out why I let it bother me.
The key is not to react to whomever may have invoked these feelings within us, but rather look inwards to ourselves to understand and figure out WHY we had those feelings. And that is what my Friday night is tonight, taking a good look inward at my heart and soul to see what I’m really upset about. Was it what was said? Or was it about how I felt about what was said?
And that’s up to each of us. We need to understand that our feelings, no matter how they were invoked, are OUR feelings and only WE know why we feel that way. This is why it’s important not to react but rather to take it in and think about it. My feelings tonight are MINE and mine alone. I know what upset wasn’t meant to intentionally upset me but sadly, it did. I don’t blame the person who said it but would rather spend my time tonight alone thinking about WHY it upset me. And once I can do that, I’ll be able to say that I learned something else about myself, and isn’t that what life is all about? Learning about ourselves, the why’s and the how’s, and figuring out what to do with all of that.
I’m learning not to blame the messenger but to understand the message and deal with it.
Life is always changing and we are always learning more and more about ourselves, if we’re open to learning, not blaming. And isn’t that what our down days are all about? Learning, not blaming. Understanding, not judging. Accepting, not allowing.
I love life more than I can tell you, the good days and the bad. I know that they all came to teach me, help me, and move me forward. And my hope is that you see your life as a gift, not a burden, no matter what it hands you.
As for me? My Friday night is filled with a hot bath, a cup of lavender tea, and a martini glass filled with tears and understanding.
Good night, my loves. May life be good to you and may you take those “down days” as your life lesson on how to turn them into your “up days!”
“Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath every feeling there is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.”
I don’t know who wrote this but it sure did make me stop and think about it. I’ve gone through some difficult situations which is why this made perfect sense to me. Our behavior IS the result of our underlying feelings about something.
For example, let’s take a couple with two very different views on their relationship. One person may get upset when the other isn’t sharing information with them or gets defensive when asked a particular question. The behavior is getting “upset,” the feeling beneath that is “feeling left out and hurt,” and the need is “to be included.”
And then there’s the reaction of the person that doesn’t feel the need to share the information or answer the question. The behavior is “anger,” the feeling beneath that is “feeling controlled,” and the need is “to be trusted.”
What a brilliant concept and one that makes perfect sense to me. None of us are perfect yet if we look at the big picture of not just the other person’s behavior’ but our own as well, so much pain, anger, and sadness could be avoided. It’s a chance for healing of the heart. It’s a chance to grow closer together through communication and understanding. And it’s a chance for positive change.
Behavior, feelings and needs. Meet the need rather than focus on the behavior. Deal with the cause, not the symptoms. And above all else, be kind to each other while you do.
(Here’s an excerpt from my book, “Each Breath Along The Journey”)
I write about this subject in one form or another every year, and this year is no exception.
Every year I notice that as the New Year approaches, people start talking about their “resolutions.” There’s things they want to do and things they want to change in their life so they make a list of “resolutions.”
I threw that concept out years ago because to me, resolutions were nothing more than making promises to myself that I couldn’t keep. They were goals for sure, but seriously, how many of us actually stick to those resolutions? I always tried, failed at some, then beat myself up for not doing what I had wanted.
So, years ago I realized that the only way for my life to change was by learning the lessons that life had handed me, by learning from my mistakes, learning from my experiences, and so I decided to have my “New Year’s Revelations!”
I ask myself some important questions throughout the month of December: What opened my eyes this past year? What did I learn about myself? What type of people are in my tribe? Am I taking care of myself and loving myself enough or giving too much of myself away? And what do I need to let go of that has no place in the New Year coming up and in my life?
These are the questions to ask yourself and answer honestly. You see, when you have those “revelations” about yourself and the year that’s about to come to an end, you take those lessons and truths with you. You begin the New Year with a better understanding of yourself, your life, your situations and the people in it. When you do that, the New Year will bring all that you want it to: love, happiness, joy, adventure, new beginnings, and new opportunities. The possibilities are endless.
Don’t put added stress on yourself by making “resolutions.”
Take the time to think about your “revelations” and begin the New Year in a positive light.
All things are possible if you just believe in yourself!
The definition of a revelation is “a surprising and previously unknown fact, especially one that is made known in a dramatic way.”
I write about the “New Year’s Revelations” every year and as 2020 is about to end I’m thinking of all that I’ve been through and all that I’ve learned. I’d like to share that with you.
My year began with the launch of my book, “Each Breath Along The Journey,” which brought some amazing opportunities for me: a chance to teach a writer’s workshop in Italy, to write for a local magazine and conduct a weekly workshop. The pandemic hit and every chance I had was suddenly gone.
The pandemic kept me confined to the house and my daily routine was disrupted with everyone else home. I began cooking AND eating three meals a day, and not all the healthiest of choices.
I found myself going back to a job I had left six years ago to work full-time. Suddenly I was out and everyone else was home.
My five year relationship was falling apart and by July it had all changed.
I moved from the house I had been in for 10 years to a 9 month winter rental near the beach.
We’ve all gone through some tough times this year but as I always say “change is a chance to grow.” Some of those changes may be difficult but I always believe everything happens for a reason.
My revelations of 2020 are:
“Resilience.”Disappointment happens and things don’t always go as planned but those disappointments are a chance to do something else with what you’ve got. Sometimes those disappointments turn into your greatest comeback!
“Gratitude.” I learned to embrace the time that the pandemic had forced me to have home with those closest to me. It slowed me down and gave me a greater appreciation for my life and all the things I had taken for granted.
“Health.” Three meals a day equals weight gain so I decided to change all that by joining a program that not only helped me to lose the weight and inches, it’s helped me to sleep better and have more energy. My mind is clear and more focused than ever.
“Blessing.” The job proved to be a good thing for me both mentally and financially.
“Forgiveness.” We were both feeling hurt from all that had happened in our relationship and it forced us to take a good look at ourselves and each other. It’s one day at a time and we continue to work at it.
“Healing.” The move to the beach house proved to be the best place I could have landed at that time in my life. I needed to heal and find my balance again.
And that’s how I’m letting go and saying good-bye to 2020, with my revelations of “resilience, gratitude, blessings, forgiveness and healing.” It’s a good start for 2021 and I’ll be taking those revelations and more into the new year with me.
(I wrote this post last year at a time when none of us could imagine what was coming a short time later. Yet as I read this again I still believe that we are blessed to be alive, blessed to be loved and blessed to have made a difference in the lives of others. It’s truly a “wonderful life.”)
Tonight I’ll be heading out with friends to the Paramount Theater in Asbury Park, New Jersey, to see the movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life.” I watch it every year on TV, as so many of us do, yet tonight will be a real treat to see it on the big screen.
It’s the perfect holiday movie and a reminder for all of us that our life affects the lives of others. Think about that…who would you be without the people you’ve met along this journey and who would they be without you?
There are some of you who have lost loved ones and are missing them, especially during the holidays. It’s good to remember them and the memories they left you with, but think about how their lives impacted yours. Who would you be or where would you be in your life if you never knew them?
And then look around at the people that are still here on this Earth. Think about them as well and ask yourself the same question: “Who would you be or where would you be in your life without them?”
You see, we have a chance to learn the same lesson that George Bailey did: “each man’s life touches so many other lives.” Make your life a “wonderful life,” because it is.
Anne Dennish - Writer/Author 