I’m up much earlier than usual and the moment my eyes opened, my mind was filled with a million and one thoughts. The last seven days have been filled with a whirlwind of emotions, from happiness and contentment to sadness and heartache. Last night the proverbial “black cloud” lifted, yet this morning all I can think of is: Why did this happen and what does it all mean?
I’d like to say I didn’t say it coming, although I didn’t see the exact situations coming, yet as an empathy and intuition person I knew something wasn’t right. I could feel something “not so good” coming soon. I didn’t know my exact emotions or what or who would be involved, but I felt an uneasiness down to my toes. I knew that something was going to happen…and it did.
No matter the feelings I was experiencing, I went on with my life as usual. I felt content and happy, yet no matter how much writing, cooking or mindless tasks filled my day, the feeling was still there. And it all blew and came to a head a week ago. Each situation happened without warning and I was blindsided as to “what the heck happened.” I knew I didn’t do anything terrible, although my habit of talking to much and repeating things certainly didn’t help.
So there I was, caught in the middle of the madness, in the middle of not understanding “why,” and in the middle of emotions and situations caused by outside forces. In other words, toxic people and negative energy got in. They got into my happy little bubble and caused pain, heartache and sadness. But how do you keep all of those negative things out of “your bubble?”
I used to despise the word “bubble.” I’ve written about “life in a bubble” years ago, and never portrayed it as a positive thing. You see, during my second marriage my “then husband” became jealous, suspicious, negative, controlling and toxic. He watched my every move, both in and out of the house, listened to every phone call I made, and broke into my emails and social media accounts. I hated it because I wasn’t doing anything wrong; it was all in his mind. The marriage ended sooner than it began and I used to say “I can’t stand being in this bubble he put me in.” And at that time, the phrase fit. I was in a bubble of all negative things and I was drowning.
I don’t see it that way anymore, and that’s because throughout all the years that passed since that time, I’ve grown as a person, understood my emotions and myself more, and have been on an incredible spiritual path…one of learning and understanding. I learned to surround myself with positive people and to keep my distance from the toxic ones and the dark and heavy energy that hung onto them. I began to see my life as “a bubble,” yet it wasn’t a bubble of control, it was a bubble of safety. It wasn’t a bubble that kept me a prisoner, but one that kept my loved ones and me safe. It was a bubble filled with love and joy, happiness and peace; a bubble filled with good people and positive energy; it was a bubble filled with all things best for my Highest Good.
Some may call it their “circle” around them; I choose “my bubble.”
Last night the black cloud lifted and this morning I find myself feeling a bit more at peace, yet I know that there’s work to be done, questions to be answered, and healing to begin.
You see, outside influences can sneak in to our minds, causing us anger, frustration and pain. These influences can come in the form of a job, a boss, a friend, a family member, or they come in as what they are: toxic, negative, and filled with dark energy. We begin to feel all these negative emotions because of them and release all that dark stuff onto those around us: those they live in the bubble with us.
It’s human behavior and sometimes life sneaks up on us and takes control where control isn’t needed or wanted.
We are in control of what we allow and what we feel, yet when we allow outside influences to affect our relationships in our life, trust me, there will be a reaction, and not usually the one you want.
I couldn’t understand where all the anger was coming from because it wasn’t coming from me, yet after a week of it the truth came out: an outside influence got in. My peace came from knowing the “truth.”
Surround yourself with all that is good; keep all your relationships strong with love and joy; speak and feel your truth and share it with those you love when it becomes overwhelming to you. Build your “bubble” with love, joy, happiness, truth, peace and most importantly: positive energy and positive people.
And last but not least, to all of you outside influences that are nothing but negative and toxic, I have but one thing to say to you: “STAY OUT OF MY BUBBLE!”
Wishing you love and light,