This is a story from my book “Waking Up: Lessons Learned Through My Adventures With Life and Breast Cancer.” It’s a story about the love of my life; how he found me and I found him; and how love found us both for the first and last time in our lives.
“Fits Like A Glove”
“For the first time in more years than I can count, I’m in a life that fits like a glove; a life that took me by surprise and allowed me to be exactly who I am. It’s funny how up until now I thought I was being “myself,” yet in the last several months my life changed in more ways than I could imagine, and along with my life, my whole self seemed to change right along with it.
There was no defining moment, no fanfare, no particular moment of the change, just a morning of sitting outside alone with the sunrise that I sat and let my mind be still. It was then that all the blessings in my life came to light, and as I started counting them I realized that this new happiness and peace came from many changes, some good, some not so good, but changes that brought me to exactly where I am now: happy, content, and in love.
Life has a way of happening when we least expect it. People come and go, finances change, our children grow up and move out, yet in the midst of all these changes, “life” found me. I sat and thought about how things had changed, but my thoughts kept coming back to where I am now. I guess that in the end it doesn’t always matter how we got here, it’s a blessing that we did. Sometimes when we’re not looking for something we want, it finds us all on its’ own. It’s that “waking up” moment of taking stock of your life and realizing that you are exactly where you should be, and where you always wanted to be; that moment that you sit and think about everything and are suddenly overwhelmed with emotion because you realize “wow, this life I’m in fits me like a glove!” And for me, that’s a foreign concept.
I’ve spent many years of this life enduring the good and the bad, each chapter of my life different from the one before, and thinking that each new one was the life I was supposed to be in. Yet today, I know that life right at this moment is much different than the other chapters in my book of life. This chapter isn’t the last one, but the first one of a new section of my book. This chapter is filled with the knowledge of all the lessons in which I’ve learned so much about myself, and how a life that I’ve always wanted found me. It found me in the middle of a snowy winter at the shore, and it finds me now in the heat of the summer. It finds me every morning, and sleeps alongside of me at night. It fills my daydreams and dances through my night dreams. It touches my heart and soul in places I never knew existed. It fills me with laughter and holds me tight with love.
This life was meant for me, and I’ve never witnessed something so extraordinary as my life today. It’s as if God and the Universe got together and lined things up to as near perfection as possible. Every experience and person that have come into this new life were lined up like a row of dominoes, yet as each domino falls, it’s not with malice or contempt, it’s with love and hope. I trust each fall of every one, because I know with all that I am that this is how it’s supposed to be. The trials and tribulations I’ve endured throughout my life have brought a bounty of blessings into my life, and to the lives of those around me. For the first time I’m truly able to see how everything that has happened and that every person that entered my world did so for a reason and a purpose. There are no accidents, and there are none in my world now.
Some days I sit in sheer amazement at how perfectly everything is happening and how quickly things are moving. Life seems to move too slowly at times, yet at this time in my life things are moving at a pace so quickly at times that I believe life is in a hurry to get me to where it wants me to be. There are moments during a mundane day of housework and bills that I think to myself “what a great little life I’m in!” It’s as near perfection as I could want or have ever hoped for.
These changes are not anything I would have thought were to happen in my life. I find myself in situations that I never would have thought possible and loving people that I thought would be an impossible task to do. Friendships have sparked out of the blue, and while they may have seemed as though a loyalty between the two wouldn’t exist, it does. It can be overwhelming at times, a moment filled with the emotions of love and peace, but I’ll gratefully accept it. It seems I’ve been searching and waiting for this all along, and throughout all these years, I began to believe that where I am now only existed in books and fairy tales. I began to accept that this “fit like a glove” feeling in my life wasn’t really true; it was simply a fantasy to me that I wrote about. I used to believe that if I couldn’t “live” it, I could certainly “write” it.
Yet here I find myself writing about my fairy tale that has become my reality. Dreams do come true, and my best advice is that when you can love yourself unconditionally, respect yourself for all that you are, and place a value on yourself deserving of all good things, then others will, too. Once you accept all “that is”, all that “will be” suddenly finds its’ way to your door.
“Never say never,” because what you believe to be true today can suddenly change tomorrow. What you thought would never happen, may happen next week, and just when you thought life would “never fit like a glove,” the Universe hands you a pair more comfortable than any other you’ve ever worn.”
And if it wasn’t enough that I wrote about him in my book, I wrote him a song as well!
Wishing you love and light,